PureInsight | June 18, 2014
[PureInsight.org] I am a veteran Falun Dafa practitioner who gained the Fa in 1997. Since gaining the Fa, I have not been very diligent; I did not study the Fa very often and had poor enlightenment quality. As a result, I have constantly been experiencing family tribulations. Because my husband had passed away a number of years ago, and my child is unemployed, I exchanged our house for a store with living facilities attached. Ever since then, I was very busy both at home and in the store and was working from morning to night. It was so painful that both my body and mind were very tired.
After my son got married, there was hardly any peace at home. My daughter-in-law wanted to take over the store and control the money. I was still paying back loans at the time. Since my daughter-in-law was a new member of our family, I did not give control of the store to her. Because of this, she was unhappy; she would often gossip to my son and sometimes would ask for a lot of money to spend. Ten days before Chinese New Year last year, I gave her 1500 Yuan. During New Year, I gave her another 2000 Yuan. She then said to me, “It’s hard to do anything with this amount of money.” I said, “Take more if that’s not enough.” I thought, “I’m a cultivator so I shouldn’t be arguing with her.” I was tolerating whatever she said. On one occasion, she instigated my son to ask me to move out and said that the whole house was theirs. I did not tolerate it this time and started quarreling with my son. I said to my son, “Ever since your father passed away at my age of forty-six, I have been working hard for this family over these ten years.” I thought I had contributed so much. But my son disregarded my feelings and said some words that hurt me. After the quarrel, I called out to Master with tears, “Oh Master! Master! What should I do? Why is this happening? What did I do wrong?” Consequently, Master’s Fa appeared in my mind, “Then why did you treat this person that way in the past?”(Zhuan Falun) I suddenly woke up. Exactly, I must have done something bad to them in a previous life. I also remembered Master’s words, “As a cultivator, one always looks for one’s own faults. ‘Tis the way to get rid of attachments most effectively. There’s no way to skip ordeals, big or small. [During a conflict, if you can remember:] ‘He’s right, And I’m wrong,’ What’s to dispute?” (Hong Yin III, “Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong”) Yes, how could I look outward when conflicts take place? I should be looking within.
Therefore I wiped away my tears and calmed down to look inside. I was really surprised after looking. I did not usually argue with them, I thought it was adequate enough for me to just be able to tolerate. But Master said, “Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (Essentials for Further Advancement, “What is Forbearance (Ren)?”). Was I able to do that? Not only was I not able to do that, I even had resentment and competitiveness toward my daughter-in-law. After digging deeper, I also found the attachment to fame, the attachment to personal gain, the attachment to doubt and many other attachments. I understood that those attachments of mine had caused them to act like this. It was me who did not do well. At this point I calmed down and asked myself, “How well have I cultivated during these years? I said I would believe in Master, believe in the Fa, and follow Master’s requirements. But how many of these have I actually achieved?” I still have so many attachments right now. How terrifying it is! I couldn’t even balance my own family affairs well. How could I be considered to be cultivating well? I even caused trouble for Master and let Master worry for me. I am such a disappointing disciple. Whilst thinking about these things, my tears unconsciously flowed. I truly felt sorry for Master who is compassionately and painstakingly saving me. I felt very ashamed of myself. I then decided that I should no longer stay this low-spirited, and that I would start anew and do well. I would study the Fa more often, follow Master’s requirements, look within at every moment, cultivate myself well and save more sentient beings.
I then handed both my home and store to my son and daughter-in-law. They were so happy that their attitudes toward me changed. I also got more time to study the Fa, do the exercises, and save people. Now I have a deeper understanding of what Master said, “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.”(Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference）It was Master who helped me to overcome my family tribulations and create a more favorable cultivation environment. Looking within is the key. In the future I will definitely follow Master’s words and do the three things well in order to go home with Master. Thank you Master!
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/129609
