PureInsight | January 1, 2025
[PureInsight.org] Everyone longs for a lasting marriage, yet when faced with reality, they often feel that marriage is like a 'fortress'—those outside want to rush in, while those inside want to escape. Since 2013, China’s divorce rate has been rising year by year, reaching 43.53% in 2022, the highest in the world. Traditionally, marriage has been regarded by Chinese people as the foundation of human relationships. Sociologists have noted that Chinese families are collapsing at an unprecedented rate.
Among those getting divorced, the post-80s and post-90s generations have become the main force. Most of them are the only children, who have been the center of attention in their families since childhood; some have never done housework. Accustomed to being indulged and pampered, they often expect their partner to accommodate them in marriage. Once neither side is willing to compromise, conflicts can arise immediately.
An 80’s girl and her husband had very superficial and naive thoughts about marriage. Both of them loved playing computer games and imagined that their life together would be filled with eating, drinking, and gaming—how happy that would be! They dreamed of spending every day immersed in fun, thinking that was the key to a happy life. Responsibilities, sacrifices, and commitments in marriage were rarely considered; they believed that having similar interests and mutual affection guaranteed marital happiness.
However, shortly after getting married, they quickly moved past a brief honeymoon phase, and various issues began to surface. Their selfish natures, strong individualism, and differences in lifestyle led to ongoing discord. They experienced arguments, silent treatments, and reconciliations; then more arguments, silent treatments, and reconciliations again. Their view of each other gradually became harsh, and they started to see fewer strengths and more weaknesses, magnifying these flaws during each bout of anger and conflict, which bred resentment and uncontrollable contempt for one another.
She spent her days feeling like a resentful wife, with her mood at an all-time low, and her body began to show many problems—lumbar disc pain, her nostrils blocked by fleshy growths, and sharp, stabbing pains in her heart that would come and go, all of which affected her ability to work normally.
This girl hoped to find a way out of her gloom and confusion by reading psychology books, believing that the analyses of human psychology could help her see the essence of her issues and invigorate her. However, after reading and rereading, she found the content too theoretical; it seemed like a solution on the surface but was not practical. When the overwhelming waves of resentment, doubt, and sadness hit her, and when she recalled her husband's past indifference and betrayal, the analyses and so-called solutions in the books felt like an ant trying to shake a tree—they couldn't help her at all. After another big fight, they decided to divorce. Just when she felt a turning point in her life might be approaching, she began to practice Falun Gong.
After reading Zhuan Falun every day, she understood that relationships between people are based on karmic connections. She realized that people come to this world not just to be human, but to improve their moral character and return to their true nature. She came to understand that suffering and illness are repaying the karma from the bad deeds one has committed in the past. She recognized that good and evil are rewarded according to the principles of the universe, and that everyone must take responsibility for their actions. She also understood that everyone has their own destiny, and there is nothing to be jealous or complain about.
However, as the saying goes, 'It's easier to change rivers and mountains than to alter one's temperament,' which indicates that it's difficult to change a person's nature; it cannot be achieved merely by shouting slogans or setting goals. Every day, she demanded that she live as a good person according to the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. Gradually, she began to improve little by little, noticing changes in herself day by day. Her capacity for understanding and tolerance towards others expanded continuously. As she adhered to the standards of a practitioner and worked on herself, her surroundings surprisingly began to change as well. She experienced the principle of ' natural attainment without pursuit' taught by the Master in the Lecture in Sydney, and she truly saw and felt its impact. When her heart began to shift from evil to good and from selfishness to selflessness, her former ailments miraculously healed one by one after she had practiced for three months.
She said, “I’ve seen many people around my age who are either divorced, single parents, remarried, or even having affairs. Most of the reasons for marital breakdown are attributed to 'incompatible personalities.' They speak only of other’s faults and justify their own grievances. This resonates with me deeply, as it reflects my marriage before I practice Falun Dafa. How fortunate I am to have encountered the Fa and to have been saved by Master, leading to the person I am today.”
She continued, “I am infinitely grateful to Master for salvation! Reflecting on our journey, I see how we've changed from two selfish, irresponsible individuals to genuinely treating each other with sincerity, thinking of one another from the heart. This mutual respect is pure and based on mutual respect, distinct from the romantic love between a man and a woman.”
In the past, the Chinese view on love was aptly summarized by the saying, “One day as husband and wife, a hundred days of kindness,” which speaks to a sense of gratitude and connection. In reality, the essence of marriage lies in a sense of responsibility—where the husband is responsible for the wife and vice versa. It cannot be sustained solely by emotions or self-interest, as human feelings can change. There should be kindness and duty between spouses, with love following after the bonds of duty. The greater the mutual kindness, the heavier the shared responsibility, which is the normal state of a marital relationship.
Chinese version: https://www.zhengjian.org/node/293279
