PureInsight | July 5, 2004
[PureInsight.org]
Part I:
My name is D. and I am from Bucharest, Romania. I would like to share with you my experience during April 25th of this year. I recognize that this event took me by surprise. I completely forgot about April 25th 1999. Saturday evening I received an email from Falun Gong News saying that on Sunday, there would be activities to commemorate this event, worldwide.
There were four practitioners from Bucharest going to do HongFa in the country. The only people remaining in Bucharest were two Chinese practitioners, a new practitioner who has been practicing for one month, and myself. I decided to sit outside the Chinese embassy to send forth-righteous thoughts. I did not have time to prepare anything, nor able to secure the necessary permit. It was out of question! However, I decided to go there. I said to myself that I would, even being alone, not move from there and send forth-righteous thoughts no matter what they say or do. Too many times I was forced to quit in "front of the embassy," in fact from the front of the evil. The old forces were using my attachments and pushing me to give up in front of the evil too many times and I started to question myself about my understanding of Dafa. Do I believe hundred percent in Dafa? If the answer was every time "Yes," then why do I give up so many times in the front of the evil? Am I considering myself a real Dafa disciple or not?
This time, I decided not to leave from there under any circumstances, except if I decided to myself.
I asked my sister to come and videotape the event, and to leave afterwards. Before heading for the embassy, Sunday morning, I went first to the practice site to tell the other practitioners that we are not going to have group reading, because I was going to go to the Chinese embassy. Our new practitioner who is in her 50s, when she heard where I was going, told me that she was coming with me. She said, "I will not let you go alone there." She did not understand yet that we are never alone as Dafa disciples. I did my duty and informed her that we do not have a permit and we could get a fine. She asked how much and added she did not care about it. So we went, together with my sister, to the embassy. I told her that under no circumstance should she speak a word. We came close to the embassy and rapidly attached a huge banner with FALUN DAFA and Zhen, Shan, Ren, in Romanian and Chinese characters, on the Chinese embassy front wall. We got into the lotus sitting position and started sending forth-righteous thoughts. Just before we went to the Embassy I had explained to the new practitioner how to send righteous thoughts.
For the first time, I was determined that for no reason in the world would I make a sound, and that I would not leave from there unless I decided to do so myself. As I was sending righteous thoughts, the policeman guarding the embassy started talking to us from the opposite sidewalk. He said, "You are not allowed here!" "Go away!" "Go to the other place (?!)." "You can stay there even for 100 years?" "I'm going to take them (the banner)." But he did not cross the street to come to us. It was like he was stuck there on the sidewalk. After a while, I opened my eyes and kindly smiled to him. I was looking directly in his eyes, while he was still continuing to tell us to go away, but he did nothing else. And, I continued to send righteous thoughts. He started to calm down. However, he called the police force. The police truck came and an officer crossed the street. I knew that he would come to speak to us, but I became a single thought, "I will not move and will not make a sound." I concentrated on sending forth righteous thoughts, and he did not ask me anything but he went directly towards the new practitioner. She did not answer him either. He was asking us to leave. Finally he said "They are not speaking." "They are mute." At that moment I heard a voice saying, "Look at that lady, she's videotaping this, go there." My sister was there recording the events. So, if I was really determined to stay in place this was the right moment to prove it, because they stopped my sister.
I opened my eyes and for a moment, I wished to go to tell them to leave her in peace, because the discussion was taking a long time. They were asking for her papers and saying that they would confiscate her camera. But I told myself, "Nothing bad will happen to her. I will stay here to send forth righteous thoughts and Master will help her. He will take care of her, I'm sure." And I restarted sending forth righteous thoughts calmly and to concentrate, and after a moment my sister left in her car without any other incident. She told me that she explained to them what we were doing there. She also clarified to them the truth about the persecution. She told them about April 25th 1999, and she spoke about the crimes committed against the Falun Gong practitioners in China. She spoke about the principle of Zhen, Shan, Ren, and that what we were doing there was a form of protest and a commemoration of the event that happed five years ago. From the embassy a Chinese person came out and was insisting to the police force and guards to throw us out. They were looking at him, powerless to do anything.
We sat there and continued to send righteous thoughts without being disturbed in any way. After a while we decided to go but not before clarifying the truth to the policemen, and also to the Chinese man. At that time I was unaware that my sister already spoke to the Romanians officers. I stood up, and while the new practitioner was packing the banner, I crossed the street and went to them. I gave them truth clarification materials, and the Chinese man was yelling that we should go to work. I told him that I have a job, but today is Sunday. I gave him materials in Chinese, even if he said he already has all of them. I still gave them to him, and on the top I put a Chinese language paper that was about bringing Jiang Zemin to justice. He was at a loss for a reply. Then, I started talking to the Romanian policemen in front of the Chinese man about what happen to people believing in Zhen, Shan, Ren in China. They started looking accusatory at the Chinese man who did not say anything to contradict my words, even though he spoke Romanian and understood everything I said.
They asked for my papers, but said they would not fine me, because they saw I was peaceful. Initially they asked if I had a permit for this. I answered that for this I do not need any a permit and that it is good to respect the law (Fa). He asked "Are you threatening me?" I answered "No, I am just helping you to understand that is good to respect the law (Fa)" In fact, I was also thinking that it is not going to be easy for him if he is fining us. He understood somehow, that this is good for him. Afterwards, we left grateful to Master for the help he supplied to us. We understood the importance of having righteous thoughts, to believe in Master and the law (Fa), and the immense force they give to us. Nothing can move you in these moments.
Part 2:
I must tell you of another experience that tested my belief in the Fa and Master. I was able to recognize omissions in my personal cultivation during the course of coordinating the Zhang Cuiying exhibit. I wish to share the insights I gained with you. Right from the beginning, there was no doubt in my mind that the exhibit would take place. Thus, I concentrated on things we should avoid in the hope that we would succeed. These thoughts governed our search for the exhibition hall.
Only one hotel director was agreeable to renting us an exhibition hall. Regrettably, it was far beyond our means, considering that we had no funds at our disposal. Although I kept my inner calm, I began to ponder why we were unable to find a suitable place. My belief in Master and the Fa was still strong and I was certain that he would in some way help us. Nevertheless, I had the nagging feeling that there was some omission since something just did not look right. I just could not make any sense of it.
We wandered the streets looking for an empty business building that the owner would allow us to use for two or three days. We were unsuccessful. We thought to organize the exhibition in the park at our regular exercise area. However, to arrange this was much too complicated. One of the practitioners e-mailed me three days before Zhang Cuiying's arrival. In this e-mail my fellow practitioner argued in detail why the exhibition needed to be postponed. So many arguments, including lack of funds, little publicity, inadequate preparation, as well as not following one's pure heart, were brought forward.
Although it was not easy for me to attain Dafa, I never doubted Master or his teachings. I was always certain that Master would help me understand when I most needed it. For a long time, I mistrusted a certain person. This attachment was often responsible for not getting things done properly. This was a great impediment for me and others. My attachment clouded my behavior with this person. I even interpreted Master's words and teachings of the Fa to suit this attachment. I trusted Master's insights, but did not assume responsibility to act within the Fa.
I received a call in the evening from Tan. She was responsible for setting the date for Zhang Cuiying's exhibition. My attachment came strongly into play at that time. I told her, what I had actually never believed in my heart, that we needed to postpone the exhibition because we had no money, had not done enough publicity and we really were not adequately prepared for this. Tan responded that she would discuss this with Cuiying and would postpone the exhibition.
Immediately after I hung up, I went to bed. Suddenly I understood! My trust in the opinion of someone else had betrayed my trust in Master and the Fa. This was a grave omission. I suddenly felt like an everyday person und saw myself shrinking in size. I traded all the wonderful things Master gave me for an attachment. I was mortified! I had heartburn and my stomach churned. My entire being was full of remorse. This suffering was difficult to endure and hard to describe in words.
I wanted to make all well again! I wanted to call Tan and assure her that we would find a solution and that it was not necessary to postpone the event. I wanted to tell her that I believed in Master and therefore was certain that he would help us. Now, I realized that I did not have Tan's phone number. I sat there with a burning heart and feeling sorry for myself. Only little me wallowing in the misery of this attachment, yet trying to look at it from within the Fa. All this took seconds or centuries. I do not know. The only certainty remained that Master in his compassion will always do as he says. I was brought down to understand why I had taken this hard fall. I asked for forgiveness for not being 100 percent truthful.
Then, after realizing and understanding all this and feeling the deepest remorse over my mistakes, the phone rang. I was told that Zhang Cuiying would come, no matter what. I thanked Master from the deepest recesses of my heart. We found an exhibition hall the next day. The hall had been newly renovated and was shining in the colors yellow and blue. It just waited for us. Everything fell into place. The cost was modest and in comparison to the other quotes it appeared just a symbolic fee. We were only 11 practitioners, but it appeared as we were thousands. This is the absolute truth.
Everyone helped and I finally understood how cooperation puts things into place. Everyone should be given the opportunity to be part of doing something for the Fa. Someone made a large banner to be put on the front of the building that told of the exhibition times. Some made the easels for the pictures, while others distributed flyers and invitations, sent faxes, called the media and much more. Everyone was busy. Everyone helped in his/her own way, as best as they could. No one ordered people around. My understanding is that my attachment only diminished my trust in Master and in the Fa.
Before I forget, a Chinese embassy employee called the owner of the hall. He was asked not to let us have the hall because we are associated with Falun Gong, a political issue, and many more lies. The owner had a deep understanding of the issues involved and what Falun Gong is, as we had already told him the truth about Falun Gong and the persecution. He told the Chinese embassy employee that the event was solely of artistic nature and had nothing to do with politics. Once the Chinese realized that they had not succeeded in another smear campaign they contacted the owner once more and offered him a bribe. They asked him to call off the exhibition and to throw us out on the street. The owner of the hall is an upright person who told the Chinese that he had signed a contract and that he would stick with this contract.
Also, all what I just told you was published on the website of a large television station. We often neglect to understand how important the opportunity is to do something for Dafa. Rather, we are afraid to loose our jobs because of our activities, or that we would have to suffer problems with our families when we go to the exercise site or group Fa study. We leave room for many our anxieties and spent many hours in the office instead of being busy for Dafa.
I realize that when I am active in improving my xinxing and assimilating into the Fa, Master will assure that nothing will happen to us or disturb us. Yet, when I have to suffer a tribulation there is a disturbance, so look deep within your heart. Thus you will be able to recognize your attachment which you have to let go of. Rest assured that every situation we face is meant to help us cultivate. Why is your child ill? Why did you lose your job? Why have you lost your home, though you are here to save sentient beings, although you are here with a pure heart and righteous thoughts? You are here because of the Fa-rectification and because you trust Master and the Fa. One should be free of the fear that one loses one's past "selfishness." Master watches over us and observes everything that is around us. Master said:
"I'm rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me."
(From "Characteristics of Falun Dafa" in Lecture One of Zhuan Falun) Therefore, why should we be afraid of anything?
Though, we need to be clear in our minds that no one is insinuating that we should neglect our work or our families. Perhaps it would be best if these things would be looked at more seriously. If we set out to do something we should do it with a pure heart. If we distribute flyers on the streets, we must due it from a pure heart. We have to be fully aware of the significance of what we are involved in. When talking about the Fa, we must understand how precious the opportunity is. When spending time with family, wife, husband, children, friends, we have to have our heart in being there. We should not leave the impression that we are forced to be there. We should not do what we do out of duty, mechanically, or compelled because of our attachment. I understand that everything a Dafa practitioner is involved in is sacred. How often are we aware of this? How often do we tell the truth automatically without the depth it contains, because we were not diligent in our Fa study? I believe that when we talk about the persecution we need to be aware that this dissemination of the truth is sacred. We have to impart it so that those who listen to us are able to clearly see that we are Dafa disciples. Accordingly, our behavior has to be worthy of Dafa, no matter when and where we are. Be that among everyday people, at home with our family, at work or with friends.
Furthermore, I wish that you bear in mind the following. My personal understanding is that once we are one with the Fa, active in all we do, do everything we are supposed to do well, even if we have to make adjustments at times, it is of main importance that we view everything at its face value and act accordingly. If we remain active because we succeeded, attain false modesty or are guided by human attachments, we may fail. I personally believe that if we say, "It is not that important," we already have reached a dangerous roadblock. Why? We will then be of the same opinion when we do things not that well. We will thus achieve self-biases that allow us to judge our mistakes or attachments as a small obstacle. On the other hand, if we put too great a value on things we have done well, because we also at the same time over emphasize our mistakes, we will create new obstacles in our cultivation path. Once we avoid such situations and we do exactly as Master has told us about cultivation we will act "in a forthright and honest manner."
I close with my deepest thanks to our esteemed Master and also thank you my dear fellow practitioners.
