PureInsight | July 5, 2004
[Pureinsight.org] I live in Denver, and I've been practicing Falun Dafa for two years. My experience report will focus on how I came to practice Falun Dafa, how Dafa has positively impacted my life, and a few of my cultivation experiences.
I first learned of Falun Dafa while jogging through New York City's Chinatown. I ran past a group of Falun Dafa practitioners holding a demonstration in a park. I was handed a flyer, and I stopped to read banners about the persecution of Falun Dafa in China. Later that month, I read an article about the persecution of Falun Dafa in the New York Times. I was shocked and curious to learn that Falun Dafa practitioners preferred to endure torture and even death, rather than giving up this mind and body practice.
At that time, I was studying various types of yoga, tai chi, meditation, and Buddhism. When I logged on to the falundafa.org website, I was skeptical that a practice with only five exercises could be as powerful as the testimonies on the website claimed it to be.
My curiosities lead me to download the book China Falun Gong, which was recommended as the beginner's text. The introduction, Lunyu immediately drew me in. It was as if all the questions and curiosities that I ever had in the course of my 25-year life were being acknowledged, and that this "Buddha Fa" could not only provide me with the answers, but also teach me the right questions to be asking in the first place. There was something about the tone of Lunyu that was different from anything else that I had ever read. In one sense, my skepticism felt that Lunyu was arrogant, yet a deeper side of me knew that I needed to read on just in case Falun Dafa could be what I was looking for.
I read China Falun Gong, and then went out and bought the only copy of Zhuan Falun in my local bookstore. I remember feeling very happy holding the book in my hand as I walked home. As I began to read, I would often become foggy on these principles that Mr. Li Hongzhi was explaining. However, I subconsciously understood the enormity of what I was trying to digest. Sometimes I would re-read passages as if I was reading a college textbook. The more I tried to understand these principles, the less I comprehended. I continued on, until I reached the subject of "Practicing Only One Cultivation Way". Though I did not fully understand, I decided that it was best to put Zhuan Falun aside. At this time I was not mentally prepared or mature enough to dedicate myself to studying Falun Dafa.
Six months later I had moved to Colorado from New York, and had started a new life with my then fiancée. I had a 50 minute bus commute to my job, and I would usually read the newspaper or sleep. It was at this time, that I noticed Zhuan Falun on my book shelf, and decided to read it during my bus commute.
Though my reading progress was slow, I started to notice fundamental changes in myself. I then learned the Falun Dafa exercises from the website. They brought a calm, alert feeling to my mind and body, which was much different than the peaks and valleys that I experienced through more cardiovascular methods of exercise. I started to understand that through "cultivation" or holding myself to the highest standards of Truth, Compassion and Tolerance; I would raise my level, and this superseded practicing the 5 exercises. I began to understand principles such as "no loss, no gain", and how that applied to my physical body, my mind, and my living environment. I started to abandon desires for fame and "get-rich quick" schemes. I became more peaceful and happy. I started to treat my wife with more respect, always doing my best to put others first. When I felt discomfort in my body, I looked inward for shortcomings within my personal character rather than taking pills or blaming my problems on external factors.
Within the first few months of practicing Falun Dafa, my whole attitude and mentality changed dramatically. I knew that Falun Dafa was what I had been looking for all along, and came to recognize the predestined relationship that I had with the Fa. I started to see myself as a practitioner of Falun Dafa, and viewed every aspect of my life with this new perspective. I felt immense gratitude to Master Li, and understood what I once viewed as arrogance in his teachings of the Fa was actually enormous humility.
After quietly practicing for 5 months in private, I came out to the Denver practice site in August of 2002. The practitioners warmly greeted me, and helped me correct my exercise movements. I began to participate in Hong Fa and truth clarification events, and started to regularly attend weekly group Fa study. Spending time with practitioners always seemed to have an uplifting effect, and sharing experiences helped me to quickly advance and see shortcomings within myself.
As practitioners, one of the main aspects of cultivation is giving up attachments. One night during a particularly late experience sharing, two other practitioners helped me to see the root of my attachment to smoking marijuana. After learning Falun Dafa I now always felt good, and smoking Marijuana clearly made me feel worse, and less in tune with my friends and family. Even though it always brought my state of mind down, it never occurred to me that I should stop smoking it as I had formed a mental addiction over a ten year period. One practitioner suggested that I imagine that Master Li is sitting right next to me, the next time I'm tempted to do something that I don't want to do. The thought of it almost brought me to tears, and I was filled with shame. From that moment on I never used marijuana again.
One challenge that truly tempered me was when I lost my job in January of 2003. I looked inward, and accepted that this must be part of my cultivation. I tried to work diligently to find a new job, though I grew frustrated when the weeks of unemployment turned into months.
At around this time I had the experience of attending my first large Fa Conference, the 2003 Lantern Festival in Los Angeles. I also had the privilege of watching Master Li lecture on the Fa! This experience had an enormous impact on my cultivation. Words can not express the experience of meeting Master Li, and being amongst so many practitioners. Following the conference the majority of my lustful thoughts were eliminated, and I was finally able to endure the seated Lotus position for a full hour.
During the question and answer portion of the lecture, someone asked Master about practitioners who lost their jobs as a result of the economy. Master was very clear that practitioners who lost their jobs were actually being interfered with, and it was absolutely not elimination of karma. With this new knowledge, I began to re-evaluate my present unemployment situation. Master instructed to not acknowledge the interference, yet it was hard to not acknowledge the fact that I was indeed without a job and adequate income to contribute to the household. In my mind it was hard to fundamentally give up the attachment. I would see job listings and apply to them, then run through in my head what I would say in an interview that would never actually take place. As my unemployment progressed, my home environment grew tenser as I struggled to pay for my own living expenses and contribute to the household.
Finally I asked Master for help. I eliminated all thoughts for a specific job that I would like to have and simply asked to be placed wherever would be best for my cultivation. One practitioner shared with me her experiences with unemployment and cultivation, and how practitioners should want to work, and contribute to society without any ego or attachment.
At this time I began to look for a job without the various attachments that I had before, and also began to increase my participation in local VIP Dafa work. During that time period I randomly ran into a neighbor in the elevator of an office building. She said hello to me and introduced me to another man in the elevator. The man asked me what I did, and I responded "marketing and sales, but currently I'm unemployed". He handed me his business card and told me that he managed a sales team, and that he would like me to come in for an interview. Two weeks later I was working for this company doing something completely different than I would have envisioned.
This new job was better for my career and my cultivation. As an outside sales representative, I have the opportunity to meet new people everyday, many of which I can clarify the truth to. Throughout the office, everyone knows that I practice Dafa. Many have asked me questions and some have expressed interest in learning. My experience with being unemployed and finding a new job taught me that sometimes you need to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation when you can't find the fundamental attachment perpetuating the tribulation.
I would now like to share my cultivation experiences relating to spreading the Fa and clarifying the truth. When I first started practicing Falun Dafa, I was eternally grateful for the opportunity to practice and cultivate. Naturally, I wanted to tell all of my friends and family that they too should immediately start practicing Falun Dafa. I remember one specific evening when I was spending time with two close friends. I assumed that they would see the value in Falun Dafa, and I took a very intellectual approach trying to make them see why they should also practice. Unfortunately my approach backfired.
What I later enlightened to after a great deal of sharing with practitioners, is that not everyone is predestined to obtain the Fa during this very special historical period. To obtain the Fa now is invaluable, and not everyone will be so fortunate. Then if I'm unable to spread the Fa to a person, what is the minimum requirement as a practitioner? My understanding is that it's important to clarify the truth, and make certain that the evil's slander has not penetrated their minds. If they know that Falun Dafa is good, and that the persecution of Dafa is wrong, then that should be fine. If they have the heart to learn the exercises and read the book, that would be even better, but you cannot force, trick or persuade someone else to practice. If they are predestined and have the heart, it will happen naturally.
After enlightening to this, I felt much more comfortable speaking to people about Falun Dafa. Clarifying the truth and spreading the Fa seems similar to many other aspects of cultivation. When I let go and allow conversations to happen naturally, they often turn towards Dafa, since I'm a Falun Dafa practitioner and I want as many opportunities as possible to clarify the truth. However, when I try to force Dafa into the conversation, or become nervous about someone's position amongst ordinary people, the result turns out much worse.
To illustrate this, last month, my work sent me to a business lunch in which Colorado's Governor Bill Owens was the speaker. Though I was a bit nervous about approaching him, I sent forth righteous thoughts during his speech and recognized that my attendance was no coincidence. When his speech was done, I walked straight to him and spoke to him about Dafa. He was very warm and offered his sympathies to our fellow practitioners in China and their families. Though our conversation was short, it felt very natural to speak to him about Dafa.
My intention in sharing my experiences today is for new-comers to have a better understanding of this wonderful practice, and to help fellow practitioners learn from my experiences so that we can all improve together as one body. When I'm immersed in day-to-day cultivation, sometimes I struggle to stay focused on doing the three things well. However, it is solemn and dignified events such as today's experience sharing conference that make it very clear to me why we cultivate and strive forward to complete our historic missions.
