PureInsight | June 14, 2004
[PureInsight.org] Several months ago, I became aware of a level of complacency that is difficult for me to share.
When I first heard of today's Fa sharing and read that the requirement to attend was to write a paper I was defensive, a little fearful, and frankly I was not planning to come. Part of me said something like, "Is this requirement something from the Fa, and has the formless Dafa become an organization with attendance requirements?"
Although I still think there is some truth to what I was thinking, based on the way it was initially presented, I also realized that there was a deeper hesitancy behind my reaction.
In fact after our local Fa meeting in Maine, when a practitioner asked whether I was going to attend the sharing I said, "Probably not." And as things would have it, as I was walking to my car, the same practitioner came out and said something like, "You should go." I listened without much reaction.
When I arrived home I started reading Master's talk, "Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students," which had been posted on Clearwisdom.net that very same day. On the second page I read Master's words:
There's something you must pay attention to: you are validating the Fa, not validating yourselves.
Somehow it seemed that this expression fit my situation or at least gave me a way to understand what I was feeling – complacency and a certain strange distance from the Fa.
Let me backtrack for a moment. When I first noticed my complacency, which I did not share with anyone, I was concerned that my interactions with practitioners in my area might be counter-productive since I was the coordinator in Maine.
After a few months I asked another practitioner to be coordinator. But in this process, which took awhile, I was not totally forthright to others with my reasons for wanting a change.
I did not share my inner state and instead used human language – like "It's time for a change…" "You will do better at it…" and stuff like that. I later apologized to the practitioners involved for not being direct, truthful and honest.
What is the connection with my understanding of complacency and Master's words, "…you are validating the Fa, not validating yourselves"?
I started to think about my past actions and whether they were pure or wrapped up in my way to validate myself and the notions that reside in me. Whatever the act was I asked was I really validating Dafa or was I instead trying to validate myself?
I must admit that this issue is still not crystal clear to me, but in the process I can see that all too often I have let my human side take the lead, instead of my divine Dafa side.
I think, as the cosmos undergoes Fa rectification in the human world, as we move from an old cosmos based on selfishness to one of selflessness, I ask myself, have I simply become more aware of my deeper selfishness and that my complacency is really an outcome of not letting go of my ego – of just plain being selfish?
Right now, I think this is true and if this is so I realized that I am fearful of giving up my humanness. Do not misunderstand me, it's not that I think being human is such a wonderful experience – far from it, but I am attached to it. Regardless of all the ways that I see that I am not attached, I also see countless ways that I hold on to attachments.
Is there a way out? Master's quote goes on and points the way. He said:
There's something you must pay attention to: you are validating the Fa, not validating yourselves. A Dafa disciple's responsibility is to validate the Fa. Validating the Fa is cultivation, and what you remove in the cultivation process is none other than the attachment to self…"
And here comes the kicker; Master went on and said:
When you're validating the Fa and cultivating, that is a process of removing self, and only when you do that are you really validating yourself. That's because ultimately you have to let go of all your human things, and only after you've let go of all your human attachments can you step out from the throngs of everyday people.
With Master's words, understanding my complacency takes on a new perspective and as Master always tells us that cultivation is up to us, while gong is up to the Master. I think I better understand my problem and Master has told us what to do – validate the Fa, study the Fa, and send forth righteous thoughts. Sounds so easy…
I like to end with a story I once heard that, for me, captures the essence of giving up humanness. Whenever I read it, I wonder if I will have the trust, the courage, and the will to do what this disciple does. Yet if we do what Teacher tells us we will all be ready.
This is how I remember it– a disciple goes to his Teacher who is in a forest sitting on the ground with a gourd filled with water. They talk and the Master says to the student something like, "If you believe in what I have told you, jump into the jug of water."
Without chit chat or doubt the disciple dives right in and as they say, the rest is history – a glorious one.
