Failings in Looking Inward

A Dafa Practitioner in China

PureInsight | July 15, 2007

[PureInsight.org] One of the
two reasons why one cannot increase cultivation energy is being
"without cultivating one's inner self and one's xinxing." (Zhuan Falun).
As for looking inward, I am very weak in that aspect. There are two
reasons for that: I did not do well during my personal cultivation
period because I did not know how. I believed that Master had brought
me to a certain level when the persecution started and all my energy
should be used for truth clarification. During the past few years, with
the Fa-rectification progressing, Master mentioned many times that we
had not done enough in our personal cultivation and needed to pay more
attention.



Looking back in over the past several years, I discovered that there
was a lot to be desired in my personal cultivation. It was particularly
seriously deficient in looking within. My inadequacy manifests in the
following areas:



1. Measuring Others against the Fa but Excepting Myself

Whenever there was a conflict between me and others, without thinking
further, I would measure others against the Fa, and accurately point
out other s' human notions. I did not look inward first and see whether
the conflict had brought out my own human notions or look at myself and
find out that I might have such notions.



2. More Effort and Time for Others

When I looked for other's shortcomings, I put in greater effort and
time, but very little effort to look inward. Very often when conflicts
arose, I, too, looked inward, but I spent very little time doing it. I
was far more eager to find fault with others. The nature of my
eagerness did not result from a good intention, but from my own inner
need to regain balance. Thus, I did not truly look within, but looked
outwardly.



3. Talking About Matters Superficially

I preferred to talk about matters from the surface level but not look
for the real causes, human notions. For example, I was once arrested
and detained. On the surface, it was due to my phone number in a cell
phone and I should pay more attention to the safety issue. Later, when
I searched for my attachments, I discovered that my attachment to
sentimentality was the real reason for the old forces to persecute me.



4. Failing to Look Deeper

For instance, when my relationship with my brother-in-law was not good,
I noticed that I was jealous of him. Thus, I believed that I found the
root cause and did not look deeper. The hidden cause behind my jealousy
was this: I had a much better position, but my daughter-in-law was not
as good looking as his daughter-in-law. I put more emphasis on sexual
appeal because I had lust in my heart. I also thought highly about
position and power because of my desire for fame. I finally found that
my human notion was the root cause.



5. Making an Effort to Change

I found my human notions, but I did not actively seek improvement. I
just mentioned how I found the root cause of my attachment, but I did
not try to do something with my new understanding. I, at least, still
maintained the idea of seeking for happiness from the ordinary world.



6. My Work Is Done

I found what I was seeking and that was it. I found my attachments or
my human notions, but I did not eradicate them from my thoughts or my
actions. I did not make any changes in myself and I did not solidly
cultivate myself.



In order to eliminate those six failings, one has to cultivate one's
inner self unconditionally. Just as Master mentioned in "Teaching the
Fa in the City of Las Angeles, 2006," "Whether you are right or wrong,
you should examine yourself." In addition, when looking within, we
should start from the surface to the deeper level to find the root
causes of one's attachments. After we find out the reasons, we must not
forget to change our acquired notions. Finally, we should look at our
attachments fairly and squarely in our minds but also eliminate them
with actions.





Translated from: http://big5.minghui.org/mh/articles/2007/6/3/156143.html

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