Experience

I remember the moment when I asked the universe for clarity about how to live and to be led to the highest/most sacred way of living. I wondered about if I was born of the highest aspect of the universe, why wouldn't this highest aspect of my spirit manifest in its entirety in every moment of my life? was deeply saddened as I reflected on the harm I had caused others. As a living being born of the universe, I knew I must return to the Creator and my True Self.

I felt a change in my heart as peacefulness filled me. I knew that I would receive the guidance I asked for and need not worry anymore. It was soon after I learned of Falun Dafa.

Since practicing Falun Dafa, many questions have been answered and I am able to approach situations with increasing compassion and less selfishness. However, I realized I still harbored fear and insecurities that prevented me from practicing in what Teacher describes as an upright and dignified manner.

Over the course of a few days, I felt a gripping fear and anxiousness, almost a panicked feeling. I continued to read Dafa, but at times I was so tired I had to stand up to keep my eyes open. I doubted my ability to send forth righteous thoughts effectively in this state. I asked Teacher to help me purify and calm my heart and mind. I tried to keep Dafa in my mind by reciting “Lunyu” throughout the day.

One evening, I awoke to a sharp ringing in my ears. I knew I must overcome the treacherous fear and SFRT. I saw the faces of other practitioners and felt remorseful that on some level I was probably causing interference for them. My mind wrestled with upholding Dafa and pushing out evil thoughts. There were continual thunderstorms that seemed to reflect my inner turmoil. I feared I would be struck down if my mind did not firmly hold to Dafa. I reached out to Teacher in my heart and again asked for help.

I knew that if I truly regarded myself as a practitioner I would be helped unconditionally and had nothing to fear. I felt increasingly lighter throughout the next day and read about other practitioner's experiences on the ClearWisdom web site. I suddenly felt free as I read about how to join others in SFRT in any situation throughout the day. I felt an overwhelming gratitude to Teacher, practitioners and all those who assist us in our cultivation.

I realized I must stop going to extremes and assume the responsibilities of a true practitioner by wholeheartedly studying Dafa, clarifying the truth and SFRT without fear.