My Experience of Obtaining the Fa and Cultivation

To Our Venerable Master and Dear Fellow Practitioners,

My name is Y. and I came from Michigan. I have practiced Dafa for only one year.

I never thought I would have an opportunity to speak at such a sacred conference, because the other speakers shared their glorious experiences of rectifying the Fa and saving sentient beings, while all I can share is my experience of how I obtained the Fa and the tribulations I overcame. My fellow practitioners encouraged me to share my experience of obtaining the Fa and the lessons I learned from my tribulations at this precious opportunity. Please feel free to point out any of my mistakes. Thanks for your help.

I. Obtaining the Fa

I started my Dafa practice by an accident. About a year ago, I was an ordinary person. I was busy making money, smoking cigarettes, and spending a lot of time playing computer games. I am so ashamed to look back. After July 20, 1999 when I first heard about Falun Gong, I laughed at it. I thought Falun Gong was just another form of Qigong like the other ones and that the only purpose of it was to make money. Since I didn’t know anything about Falun Gong, and all the media coverage about Dafa back then was from the lies of Chinese government, I was deceived by the lies and said something negative about Dafa. However, I had some doubts in my mind: if the Chinese government propaganda was right, how come there were more than 100 million people in dozens of different countries practicing Falun Gong? Many practitioners had a Master’s or Ph.D. degrees, some of them are successful experts and scholars in their fields; were they all naïve?

I lived for almost two years with these questions unanswered. In January of 2001, the Tiananmen Square self-immolation incident caught my attention again. I heard two completely different voices about the self-immolation incident. One side was the Chinese government’s propaganda, and the other side was Falun Gong’s solemn statement, each side making its own arguments. At this time, I started thinking about two questions, the first one was why Falun Gong was undefeatable? It had been persecuted by the Chinese government for almost two years, how come it did not disappear? Instead, more and more Falun Gong practitioners protested on Tiananmen Square every day. We all knew how powerful the Chinese government could be if it wanted to persecute a certain group or religion, how come it did not work on Falun Gong? My second question was what kind of people are Falun Gong practitioners? They could lose everything for just calling “Falun Dafa is good” on Tiananmen Square. What kind of faith is behind them? How come their Master Li Hongzhi has such a power? What is Falun Gong?

In an effort to tell the truth from the false, I started reading Falun Gong books on the web. My attitude was that I didn’t believe the Chinese government’s propaganda, but neither do I believe Falun Gong. I can make my own judgment once I read the books. I finished Zhuan Falun in two days. My first reaction was that Falun Gong is righteous and Chinese government was lying. At an entry level, I felt that Zhuan Falun is a book guiding people practicing Qigong. If you treat it as a Qigong, what was wrong with helping people improve physical health through Qigong practice? At a higher level, it is a book teaching people to improve morally and spiritually, to do good deeds not bad deeds, to assimilate eventually into the universe’s characteristics of “Truth, Benevolence, Forbearance” and return to one’s original, purest and best nature. At an even higher level, it is a heavenly book teaching people how to cultivate. The Chinese government irrationally persecutes a group of people practicing to be better persons and makes up all kinds of excuses for the persecution. It was very obvious who is lying and which one is righteous and not evil.

If reading only one book could not illustrate the point, I read all the books written by Master Li in the following days. I got excited and often in tears while reading the books. I felt the boundless and unmatchable Benevolence of Master Li. I found the truth I had been looking for all my life. I practiced Buddhism, Taoism, and all kinds of Qigong before, yet I had never heard of the truth taught in these books. Our Master did such a great thing for us, coming to this dirty earth to save us, enduring countless sufferings for us, offering salvation to every one of us Dafa practitioners. Yet he had to face the slanders of a political group on this earth and experience the worst persecution in the world. What a shame.

At this point of time, I finally understood why so many Dafa practitioners in China refused to give up their faith in Dafa when being illegally detained, sentenced, abused in mental hospitals, even tortured to death. They were facing cruel torture, mental abuse, death, rape, losing jobs and family, yet they refused to sign the “transformation statement” betraying Dafa. Why? Just like our Master said, “You should know that once a person learns the truth and the real meaning of life, he will not regret giving up his life for it”. (“Some Thoughts of Mine”)

Over the year of cultivation, I have seen every fellow practitioner doing lots of work rectifying the Fa and telling the truth, everyone acting as a true Dafa disciple working for Dafa, understanding the Fa from the Fa. I felt ashamed that I still struggled with some little tribulations with strong attachments, which most other practitioners passed a long time ago. Occasionally I even wonder if I qualify as a Dafa practitioner, since I still can not let go lots of ordinary people’s concept, struggle to make one step forward, yet hesitate at another step. However, I can always feel the Benevolence of our Master, and his encouragement. Eventually, by studying the Fa and practicing the exercises, with the help from fellow practitioners, I overcame the obstacles and firmly believe in the Fa and our Master more and more. I truly believe I chose the most righteous and best path to return to my true self.

II. Tribulations

When my mother-in-law came visit us from China in last May, I knew it was a test for me. She talked to me about Falun Gong on the very first night after she arrived. She told me it was a consistent message from my mother, older brother and younger sister: Stop practicing Falun Gong. I realized what kind of harsh environment it was in China. I tried to explain to her why I practice patiently at first, but ended the discussion with a severe argument with my wife who criticized me for practicing Falun Gong. The very next day I called my mother and younger sister and seriously criticized them. I told them “no one can stop me from practicing Falun Gong. My father-in-law is coming soon. You have to tell him that you support my practicing Falun Gong in the US. You have to make up for your own mistake.” I even wanted to tell them that I would not give up Falun Gong even if they threatened me with a knife. Afterwards I realized I was not benevolent to them at all. I essentially forced them to accept my choice using their ordinary people’s feelings for me. Why couldn’t I treat them with benevolence? Why didn’t I convince them from the Fa rather than using ordinary people’s concept and feelings? It was because I did not come out of being an ordinary person yet. As a result, my mother felt unhappy about our conversation for days, and so did I.

Later in an e-mail to my father in law, I told him clearly that “I think Falun Gong is the best and most righteous cultivation method that has never been taught before. I view it more precious than my life.” There was one more sentence that I wanted to say yet did not find a good chance to tell them, which was “if there was only one Falun Gong practitioner left in this world, that person would be me.” Since then, my parents in law, my mother and younger sister never said one more word against my practicing Dafa.

However just not long ago, I had a bad argument with my wife and left home in anger. Standing outside the door, I found that I did not bring any change of clothes with me and only had less than $100 cash with me. I studied the Fa while I was wondering around and realized my fundamental problems. I am always attached to finding other people’s mistakes and ignore my own attachments. I am always using other people’s mistakes to cover up my own mistakes. The reason I could get past the tribulations from my wife for a long time was because I treated this like an everyday person without recognizing the evil factors behind her as the source of the interference. “Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely with your human side. Evil demons then capitalize on this point and inflict endless interference and damage…” (“Expounding on the Fa”). At that point of time, I could see our Masters eyes filled with worry. I could see the picture of great enlightened being suffering through the reincarnation cycle in this human world, even begging for food in human society in order to save us.

In this recently published poem by our Master “The Difficult Path to Godhood,” wasn’t that me who made “such slow and leisurely steps”? In order to save us, our Master endured countless sufferings and slanders and never complained at all, why couldn’t I let go of my attachments? I realized my slow and leisure steps made me fall far behind the Fa rectification process and became a serious barrier on my cultivation path. Finally, I went back home and said to my wife, “Sorry, I was wrong.” in front of my mother-in-law for the first time in my life. Suddenly I felt such a relief and all the struggling was gone. I clearly experienced what our Master said “when it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.”

I would like to end my speech by sharing our Master’s poem “Saving All Sentient Beings” with you.