PureInsight | April 21, 2014
[PureInsight.org] I used to be very judgmental and never hesitated to offer my personal opinions of who was right and who was wrong. I especially liked to criticize people and pointing out their faults. As a result, I forgot to look within for my own problems and to cultivate myself. Later on, after studying the Fa, I began to realize that I was wrong. Ever since then, I would seek inwardly unconditionally whenever I ran into problems. I would treat fellow practitioners as some kind of a mirror to see my own faults. In the process of seeking inward and cultivating myself, I began to see that my Xinxing was improving.
Once I noticed that fellow practitioner Ms. A was doing a very good job in her Fa study, SFRT and clarifying the truth to the public, however, Ms. A began to show some kind of illness karma, and it was somewhat serious at times. Ms. A also tried to seek inward but she couldn’t find anything. So Ms. A simply spent most of her time studying the Fa, day and night. Her physical condition didn’t seem to improve though. I couldn’t help but complain against Ms. A telling her that she did not have a proper heart when studying the Fa.
At the same time, I also noticed that another fellow practitioner Ms. B was doing a very good job of her “three things”. Ms. B didn’t like to talk too much. Many fellow practitioners thought Ms. B already cultivated solidly. However, Ms. B’s family was in trouble. Ms. B’s son had married for quite a few years, but the son didn’t want a child. Ms. B’s daughter-in-law was very angry about that and went home to live with her parents, seeking a divorce. I later learned that Ms. B agreed with her son not to have a child. Ms. B complained about her daughter-in-law, but in the end just said: “My heart won’t be moved by this matter.” I didn’t say anything to Ms. B, but deep in my heart, I thought Ms. B was not doing the right thing. She should not have involved herself in the lives of ordinary people, and she should not have tried to decide the lives of others. Ms. B should not cover over her shortcomings or attachments by merely declaring that her heart will remain calm.
I asked myself, why did I run into both Ms. A and Ms. B and witness these problems? Could it be true that I might have similar problems? I decided to seriously examine myself and indeed, I found my own problems.
I suddenly recalled one incident that had happened to me. My husband used to practice Falun Dafa because he wanted to cure his illness and the illness was indeed cured. But, even though my husband had obviously benefited from Falun Dafa, he had to quit practicing under pressure of the Chinese Communist Party. I was very worried to see that my husband began to waste time on his computer, playing games or watching movies. I had hoped that my husband would get back to Falun Dafa again, and I had asked him to practice Falun Dafa several times, yet, he wouldn’t change his mind. My husband received a higher education than me and I often asked him questions that puzzled me. One day, my husband solemnly told me: “Do you know that Master Li is a great Buddha?” I took this chance and said: “Well, you know more than I do, why not start cultivating now? You will regret if you don’t, please study the Fa.” My husband agreed and promised that he would begin to study the Fa the next day. However, my husband didn’t pick up any Fa books the next day. The following night, I asked him why he didn’t keep his promise, but he became irritated at once and told me with a very determined voice that he absolutely didn’t want to study the Fa. After hearing such words from him, I felt utterly disgusted by his betrayal of his own promise and said angrily: “If you don’t study the Fa, then I won’t allow you to play with your computer. You are wasting electricity and are headed towards hell.” I then unplugged my husband’s computer. My husband immediately jumped up, he was so angry that he kicked over a thermal bottle as well as a mirror nearby. Fortunately, nothing was broken. I kept telling myself: “My heart won’t be moved!”
In the following days, my husband kept bothering me. I just tried to ignore him and still kept this thought in my mind: “My heart won’t be moved.” Right then, one of my cousins came to visit my family. This cousin of mine was also a fellow Falun Dafa practitioner. I felt very proud of myself in my recent fight with my husband and readily told my cousin about the incident. I kept telling my cousin that I had always kept a calm mind. After hearing my story, my cousin became very serious and immediately told me that I had made a mistake. We then sat down and studied the Fa on how we should seek inward, how we should get out of the human realm, what we should do in order to change people’s human notions, etc. Master Li mentions in Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference: “Be considerate of others when you do things, and look at yourself when you get into disagreements.” Also, in the article titled The Closer to the End, the More Diligence You Should Be, Master Li says: “But as cultivation is lived out, when the suffering bears down on you and conflicts come up that hit upon the deepest part of you—and especially when it rattles the rigid notions you have—the test is really hard to pass. It can even be to the point that you know full well it’s a test but still can’t let go of your attachments. What’s more, Dafa disciples are cultivating in this “real” world that brims with temptation, so it becomes even more difficult—and even more important—to change those notions.”
I started to look within. I asked myself: “Why did I hide my husband’s computer from him? Even though I was trying to help my husband to change his mind, I should not have been so forceful. So, I just wanted to change other people, I just wanted to force others to follow my own human notions, I was not considerate of others at all. What was the difference between me and an ordinary person? Yet, I still claimed to be a Dafa practitioner. Wasn’t it true that I was actually damaging the image of Falun Dafa, and ruining the reputation of Falun Dafa?” I realized that I really had done something wrong and I must seek inward without any condition. I must cultivate myself.
I sincerely apologized to my husband and returned the computer. My husband saw the change in me and became excited: “I am going to cook the rice and clean the floor from tomorrow on…” Once my Xinxing was elevated, my husband’s attitude also changed and my family became harmonious once again. From then on, wherever I went, whatever I did to try to save more sentient beings, my husband would always agree with me. I am very confident that one day, my husband will definitely get back to Falun Dafa. Now I fully understand what Master Li has said: “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.”(Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference) This particular Fa has a very profound meaning indeed.
Translated From: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/127901
