PureInsight | February 8, 2014
[PureInsight.org] I obtained the Fa in 2012. Before that I was very interested in mysterious things. I read some Buddhism books. When I traveled, I liked visiting Buddhism temples and Taoism temples. But I was very confused by many things. In 1999 when Chinese Communist Party crazily slandered Falun Gong in TV, I doubted the news. In 2005 I came to the USA and became busy with studying and making a living. I felt void and depressed. I didn't know the meaning of life. My friends suggested that I go to Church. Out of curiosity, I went there to study the Bible. But I still had all kinds of confusion which I couldn’t find answers in the Bible.
Perhaps due to my predestined relationship, in July of last year I watched a program on NTDTV. It talked about “prophecy and life”. The host on TV kept mentioning Falun Gong. So I thought I should listen to Mr. Li Hongzhi’s lectures. With curiosity I downloaded Master’s lectures at Guang Zhou from Youtube. After I finished lecture 4, I realized Master was saving people through the Buddha Fa. I kept listening to it. I really liked it. Master used plain modern language to explain the mysteries of the universe, dimension, time, humanity, as well as the meaning of life. I finally understood why many things happened to me in my life. I was shocked by Master’s profound Fa principles. I wanted to cultivate. Before that I never had the thought of cultivation. In my mind, I thought cultivation was very hard and I wouldn’t be able to endure it. Once I wanted to cultivate, I immediately searched online and found the local Falun Gong practitioners. I learned the five exercises and bought Falun Dafa books. Ever since then, I started cultivation. Every day I eagerly read Master’s lectures and Zhuan Falun. I did the five exercises daily. Soon I attended the group Fa study every Friday.
During that time I felt so happy. Every day I was immersed in Master’s enormous benevolence. Soon I took part in the promotion of Shen Yun. I went to the state capital to deliver Shen Yun materials with fellow practitioners. Every day I studied the Fa and did exercises. Then I went out to either hang Shen Yun brochures on door handles or put up Shen Yun posters. I can still remember the magical experience of sending righteous thoughts. At that time I didn’t know how to send forth righteous thoughts. One day I went to Yiyun’s home to prepare the materials for state officials. I asked her how to send forth righteous thoughts. She patiently wrote down the details. That night I thought of sending forth righteous thoughts. So I sat down and sent forth righteous thoughts. When my hands were in Jie Yin position, I immediately felt the enormous energy around me. I felt the power of sending forth righteous thoughts. It is like what Master said in the script “Dafa Disciples’ Righteous Thoughts are Powerful”: “Actually, every Dafa disciple has abilities. It’s just that the abilities do not manifest in the surface dimension, so they think that they don’t have supernormal abilities. But regardless of whether they can manifest in the surface dimension or not, when a person’s True Thoughts come forth they are very powerful.” I was moved by the magic of Dafa. When I walked in the snow to deliver the Shen Yun brochures door to door, very often I could feel the Qi Ji and energy channel moving around. I knew it was Master who encouraged me. My heart was filled with unspeakable gratitude. Only by cultivating diligently could I requite Master’s great benevolence.
At that time I felt that there wasn’t enough time. I wanted to finish reading all of Master’s lectures as soon as possible. Perhaps I didn’t do well with the “Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance”. Required of us by Master in Zhuan Falun. I started to have conflicts with my family. My husband thought I spent too much time on Fa study and Shen Yun promotion. But I thought the time I spent was not enough if comparing to other practitioners. I often had quarrels with my husband. I didn’t do well at forbearance. Master requires us to cultivate by following the form of society as much as possible. I should have balanced cultivation and family life. I should have considered my husband’s feelings. I only thought that he should understand me. The conflicts became bigger and bigger.
On May 2, I attended the New York Fa conference with gladness and excitement. 8000 fellow practitioners attended it. I listened to Master’s lecture and fellow practitioners’ sharing. I saw Master in person. My happiness and was beyond description. I felt so lucky to attend the great Fa conference and listen to Master teaching in person. On the flight back home I thought about how to share the happiness with my family. After I got home I was shocked to find out the whole house was empty with no furniture. Nobody was in the house. My husband’s cell phone was off. I didn’t know what to do at all. I didn’t know what happened. I felt a huge pain in my heart. The resentment grudge and other negative thoughts all came at me. I couldn’t quit Falun Dafa because I knew that it what I had been waiting for thousands of years. Since I hadn’t cultivated for a long time, I still had lots of attachments, so I felt so much pain. I was lost in the confusion and pain. I couldn’t calm down to study the Fa. Fellow practitioners also helped me. My cultivation state was on and off. I knew only by studying Fa could I go through the tribulation. I couldn’t have Dafa while grabbing human attachment tightly. This is my fundamental attachment. I knew Master didn’t give up on me. Sometimes I lied painfully on my bed while listening to Master’s lectures. I very clearly felt the energy surrounding me. Falun’s were rotating in my body. I knew Dafa is what I want, fame; emotion, self-interest and hatred are the attachments I need to let go, although the process of letting go is painful. The poem in “Severing” in Hong Yin II encouraged me very often.
“Severing
Cultivation is not hard,
It’s attachments that are hard to part with.
When will you sever those many attachments?
All know the sea of hardship has no shore.
If your will is not firm,
The hurdles are like mountains.
How will you transcend this mortal life?”
Cultivation is serious. Only by studying Fa more and more could I improve. I must overcome the tribulation.
Several months passed. Gradually I calmed down. Now I can study the Fa with my mind at peace. I found a job. I know there will be other tests in my cultivation path, but I will still cultivate firmly. Nothing can change my mind. I shall walk on the path Master has arranged, cultivate diligently, do the three things well, and be worthy of Master’s salvation and Dafa disciples’ missions.
In the end I would like to use Master’s poem in Hong Yin to conclude this sharing:
Study the Fa and gain the Fa,
Focus on how you study and cultivate,
Let each and every thing
be measured against the Fa.
Only then, with that,
is it actually cultivation.”
Thank you benevolent Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/123769
