PureInsight | February 8, 2014
[PureInsight.org] I have been in the United States for 1 year. My cultivation environment has changed greatly since.
In Mainland China, under the evil’s high pressure, I did not dare to slack. I kept studying Fa, practicing exercises, sending forth righteous thoughts, clarifying the truth and looking inside. I was always alert. In fact, I was afraid of being arrested, being transformed and not being able to catch up the steps of going home with Master. The attachments were not removed by cultivation, but by fear. Because I had attachments that I could not eliminate for a long time and attachments I didn't realize, the evil exploited my loopholes and persecuted me severely.
One year ago while I was applying for a US visa, I vowed to Master: “Master, I am not going to the US to enjoy life. I will assimilate Dafa with my whole body and heart. I will do whatever Dafa needs me to do.”
After I came to Seattle, I found that it was a totally new cultivation environment. Everything started from scratch, and I had to learn everything from zero. Fellow practitioners suggested for me to do sales for the Epochtimes. I was unwilling to do it at first. I didn't even dare to make phone calls. I had to accumulate courage, sent forth righteous thoughts and prepare words. However, I still made a phone call trembling. I introduced Epochtimes to the customer as if I were reciting a textbook. As soon as they said they would not advertise on our newspaper, I hung up the phone. After making a phone call, my face was red, my heart beat fast and my hands were sweaty as if I were a thief. I felt that it was too difficult to do sales. Because of face, I made phone calls for several months without any signed contracts. I thought I had done enough to show fellow practitioners that I was not suitable for sales, and I prepared to quit.
In May, I attended the New York Fa experience sharing conference with great honor. After going through numerous hardships and crossing thousands of miles, I finally saw our great benevolent Master. I was excited beyond words. My heart was cleansed by Master's benevolent and boundless Fa. After Master's Fa teaching, I saw the video of the Shen Yun performers. Many of the young disciples in the 2007 class were not professional dancers, but in order to help Master rectify the Fa, they were willing to endure hardship. I was shocked. At the beginning I vowed that I would do whatever Dafa needed me to do. Now Dafa needs me to do sales, yet I did not. I was trying to find out various excuses to justify not being a saleswoman. How shameful I was!
After coming back from New York, I decided to do sales. I mainly worked on classified ads. Once I made the decision, I felt sacred and holy. I knew sentient beings in my world were cheering. In the first weekly meeting of Epochtimes, I signed a contract with fellow practitioners' reinforcement. I thought Master was encouraging me.
Epochtimes' full time sales team has run for 3 months. The sales every day are not easy. Evil is watching our every thought. During the first month, we experienced different barriers. Someone suddenly developed a high fever. I had headache and heart ache and couldn't breathe. In my third eye, I saw that the area around our sales team was filled with black substances like asphalt. We sent forth righteous thoughts intensely. We also studied Fa together for an hour each morning. We put all our strength together. In Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting, Master said, "This problem has persisted for a long time now. If you can find a way to cooperate well, to be of one mind, and apply all your strength together in one direction, then, with the abilities you have, you will really be an unstoppable force. So what I’m wondering is, do we have to wait until you’ve cultivated better before you get close to that and increase your [collective] strength? (Laughing) Only if you can manage to do this while things are the most difficult will your situation change fast and will you do a good job with what you are supposed to do. "
In the past 3 months, we had steady growth in sales, but my own task was only achieved in the second month. I gradually could not bear it. I felt I should not take the base salary if I could not achieve my task. In the two recent weeks, I have been thinking this every day, “I should quit.” The more I thought that, the fewer contracts I got. Irritability and despair filled my heart. I tried to be happy while I made phone calls to customers. After I hung up the phone, I treated everyone badly, regardless of whether they could accept it. I spoke with people rudely. I lay down on the bed and hoped to fall asleep and never wake up. I knew my state was wrong, but I could not let it go. At the weekly meeting, I said I did not want to do sales anymore. The fellow practitioners were all worried. Some encouraged me and some helped me to analyze based on Fa, but nothing touched my heart. At night when I shared with fellow practitioners, one practitioner said softly, “Epochtimes needs you at the moment.” Oh, my vow. How could I forget my vow again? What strong attachment did I have? I recalled that old forces arranged the first half of my life. My sad childhood caused my low self-esteem, self-guilt and exclusion from groups. The better the fellow practitioners treat me, the more pressure I felt from the debt of human emotion. Taking the base salary and not achieving my task made me feel very guilty. I just wanted to escape without taking any responsibility. I wanted to stay away from the group to make myself feel better. Looking through the vicious goals of the old forces, I understood that I could not view things with human eyes, which would only confuse me. There is no emotion among fellow practitioners. We are here to accomplish our great vows.
Before I practiced Dafa, other people thought I was a very melancholic person. After I started cultivation, Master required us to clarify the truth and ask people to quit the CCP. I struggled for a long time. Then I realized that the beings in the new universe are selfless. I thought that no matter whether I succeeded in cultivation, I should save people who had predestined relationships with me. Then I started to clarify the truth. Now the requirement is higher. We should always keep our main conscience clear, understand the Fa thoroughly and keep strong righteous thoughts. Only by doing so can we walk the future path well.
Master said, “I also want to tell you that your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on, whatever you do or whatever you say, you must consider others—or even future generations—along with Dafa’s eternal stability” (Essentilas for Further Advancement – Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature).
Master also said, “If you are able to succeed in improving yourself this way, what you do then, with a pure heart, will be the best and most sacred" (Essentilas for Further Advancement – Further Understanding).
After I found out the attachment and got rid of it, a miracle happened: I started signing contracts every day.
In the past when I made phone calls, some people cursed at me immediately after they picked up the phone. My heart beat very fast. I was very angry and my hands trembled. Of course, I could not clarify the truth well. Recently, I contacted a customer. At first he said he was not that interested in the Epochtimes. His partner also firmly objected to advertising on the Epochtimes. He said the Epochtimes was Falun Gong's newspaper. It involved politics. The customer said he was Christian. I sent forth righteous thoughts and benevolence came up from my heart. I talked to him firmly, “I believe every American loves the US, but not every American loves the Party who operates the government. In the US, the media criticize the Party every day to make it better. Loving a country is not the same as loving the Party. I love China's landscape; I love Chinese people; I love 5000 years of traditional Chinese Culture. The Communist Party came from the West and originated from Marx. It ruined traditional Chinese culture, destroyed China's landscape and persecuted Chinese people. In Mainland China, information is blocked. Overseas, other media also do not dare to speak the truth. Only the Epochtimes stands out. It adheres to universal value, insists on independent principle and protects news freedom. It speaks up for vulnerable groups and people being persecuted. Epochtimes reports not only persecution happening to Falun Gong practitioners, but also persecution happening to petitioners, democracy activists and religious persons, including those who believe in Christianity at home. Because they don't have money to participate in the official church, they are called underground Christians. These underground Christians are arrested and illegally put into label reeducation. Suppose there was no Epochtimes reporting the truth consistently and exposing the darkness, wouldn’t evil become even more reckless? This year, the CCP cancelled the system of illegal label reeducation. Doesn't the Epochtimes and other justice media and people contribute to it? You Christians also talk about loving others. I believe when you see other people being persecuted or their organs being harvested by force, you cannot bear it either. You will also speak the voice of justice and stop it. Keeping silent before evil is equal to helping evil. If you advertise on Epochtimes, you are supporting justice media, and you are doing a great deed.” The customer listened to me quietly. After I finished, he said, “You touched my heart. I will do a 1-year ad on Epochtimes."
There is a huge gap between my cultivation and Master's requirement. I know only by building a firm foundation on Fa study can I walk the future path well. Facing great changes in living environment, human emotion and all kinds of temptations, it is easy to wear down one's will to cultivate. In the future, I will respect Master and respect Fa, study Fa well, cooperate with fellow practitioners, keep the cultivation state I had when I just obtained Fa, do the three things well, fulfill my prehistory vow and be responsible for sentient beings.
Thank you, Master!
Thank you, fellow practitioners!
He Shi
Translate from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/123771
