PureInsight | September 4, 2008
Experience sharing by Katarina Hall at the 2008 Nordic Fa Conference
[PureInsight.org]
Venerable Master,
Dear fellow practitioners,
My decision to go to Flushing came after just over one day’s deliberation – from the time that the idea arose until I decided to go – so I had to cultivate through a whole lot before I could commit, and quite quickly too.
What I knew then was that I wanted to be there on the spot in New York as soon as possible. The evil behaved rampantly among the people and it did not give up quickly. I found that I actually had a full week’s time-off from work. But another part of me said that I should go on with what I had already planned to do a long time ago. There were also other obstacles. I did not know where I would stay, and it would be too expensive to stay alone in a hotel; I had been in New York only 2 weeks prior; I could not afford it; I needed to decide so fast; I should take it easy, and so on... Still, I decided to go. In addition, I had to face a major tribulation at home. That evening some practitioners encouraged me, saying that I should naturally do it, assuming that I had already decided.
I booked my plane ticket and faced the tribulation with righteous thoughts. I received help from a practitioner in looking up an old Internet link to a hotel in Flushing. When I rang, the only person at the hotel who could speak English answered and he said I was welcome. The hotel room was inexpensive as well. A heat wave was about to hit Flushing, so the hotel helped me to switch to a larger room with AC rather promptly. I did not understand then that it would be so hot. On the first morning in Flushing, I met up with a practitioner from Taiwan with whom I stayed during the Manhattan project. When she saw me, she just looked at me, smiled and nodded her head. Only then did I understand that I had done the right thing and that Master really was with me and took care of me. Strangely, I never felt the fury of the heat when I handed out The Epoch Times in the streets; only my arm would get a little tired sometimes. By contrast, I became so exhausted, thirsty and hot when the day was over.
On the first evening, after having been out all day, I was in a good mood before I fell asleep. But I realized that I had been a little afraid of those really evil stares and words that I encountered from some Chinese sent by the CCP. More precisely, I was afraid of the unpleasant and persistent anger from people that confronted me. Here, it was not enough to be just kind; here compassion and tolerance had to be very great. Perhaps, I too had anger in me when I sometimes became tired of the persecution and just wanted it to end. The following day, I decided to raise my xinxing standard further and conform to the principles of truthfulness, compassion and forbearance even more.
That day I carried with me Master´s words from the recent “Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference,” “There is nothing scary about the evil.”
Since then, I felt different inside and I learned to be fearless in the face of those vicious penetrating eyes and angry words that can strike suddenly without the slightest warning, and for that matter, not startled by someone who would unexpectedly and quickly snatch The Epoch Times from my hands to read it. I have learned that if I am to face the really evil-minded, I must bring out my greatest compassion and strongest righteous thoughts.
The Westerners in Flushing were very supportive. They gave adoring sighs, offered me drinks, came up with encouraging words, sunscreen, a kiss on the hand and so on.
But there were also Chinese people who were concerned about us. They asked us to be quick with what we were doing and accepted our materials willingly. I think that our forbearance touched them.
Afterwards, I felt very strange both physically and mentally during that week and for two weeks after, and it was not just because of the heat. My body swelled, I just wanted to sleep, had pain here and there and cold symptoms too. In addition, I felt as if I had lost everything – like having lost my compass. I did not know what I should do next; I felt sad, angry, bitter, disappointed and downhearted. When the cold symptoms were gone, I realized that I went to Flushing without perhaps realizing how strongly the evil field there was and how strong our righteous thoughts must be to be able to cope with the evil. How difficult it is to see clearly when one has to let go of something. One can be exploited both physically and mentally when off-guard.
At the same time, I realized during those past weeks that the real enchantment of cultivation and the wonderfulness of letting go and giving everything you can – To be prepared to lose everything, and at the same time, in some way, win so much more.
Thank you, Venerable Master!
