PureInsight | November 18, 2006
[PureInsight.org] (New England Fahui 2006)
We as a group have not had the opportunity to share cultivation
experiences in a setting like this for some time. It is a special
occasion. Not only is it an opportunity for us to share, but also it is
an opportunity for us to learn from one another. The experience of
writing an experience sharing is also a special gift. I have always
benefited a great deal when I write an experience sharing. In the
course of writing, prominent attachments, or attachments I have been in
denial of would surface, and it can even be a little daunting as
attachments we have been reluctant to let go confronts us squarely.
This is actually my second to third re-writing. The first draft I admit
glossed over many things I have neglected for a long time. Not that it
was intentional. Master, with his immense compassion, and knowing the
shortcomings of his disciples, pointed them out to me squarely through
other practitioners so there's no escaping it. Realizing the gaping
loophole I have been neglecting, my heart sank.
In a cultivation environment, there have been practitioners that seemed
to have cultivated well, some appeared average, some have certain
flaws, some no longer practice, and some who seemed to have done well
ended up encountering tribulations, How then can one be sure if a
practitioner is really doing well, is truly diligent, or has hidden
loopholes. Over the years I have seen various practitioners encounter
different tribulations, and I sometimes compare myself as to where I
might stand or, if I have fallen short, or have hidden loopholes. How
then can I ensure that I am walking a correct path?
I started to practice in 1997 and I have been prone to thought karma
from the very beginning. In cultivation over the years, this thought
karma has diminished so that it is now no longer a concern. But because
of my early propensity for thought karma and its interference, I've
learned from the very beginning, that to be steadfast in the Fa is to
immerse myself in the Fa, at that time it was before Fa-rectification,
and I preoccupied myself with 2 main things – immersing myself in Dafa
work and enlightening and gaining a deeper understanding of the Fa
through Fa study. The enlightening and proper understanding of the Fa I
felt provides me the grounding I need in order to maintain a
steadfastness and righteous belief in Master. Without it I find myself
on very shaky grounds. In Essentials for Further Advancement, Master
said, "The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil,
the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous
thoughts."
Over the years, because of my unequivocalness when it comes to Dafa
work, I did get quite busy at times and my studying the Fa and
exercising took a set back. There were times when I went without study
for so long that I felt I was on shaky grounds and my righteous belief
in Master was wavering. Getting back to Fa study has always helped. But
this actually was the beginning of a serious setback of maintaining my
diligence as a practitioner.
In my work for Dafa, I do see certain gradual improvements and progress
over the years. In the beginning I was reluctant to do certain
Fa-rectification work. But with a certain righteous thought I am able
to break through and carry out the work that is necessary. Often I will
meet obstacles that will test my patience and righteous conviction. I
have on occasions failed here and there and gotten frustrated and
worked up, or fallen flat on my face which really forced me to
re-examine what short-comings I have. After making improvements and
upgrading my xinxing, things
gradually turn smoother. And I am amazed at how often things seem to
fall in place one after another. Take for instance one of my paper
route days, sometimes unexpected things will happen that could throw
everything off. If I stay calm and be unaffected, things will start
falling back in place, and at the end of the day I will finish exactly
the time that I normally finish, and at times not a minute more and not
a minute less.
In a recent event I had to create poster displays for the World
Transplant Conference, I had a product in mind, but didn't really know
how to accomplish the end result. Nor did I build a prototype to make
sure it worked before I went ahead. I only knew how to begin, didn't
know the solution to the intermediate step or the end result. It
required me to think things over and over, through trial and error I
accomplished the first stage and a solution would be revealed how to go
for the next stage. Amidst all this I had to tend to various other
things and projects, but things seemed to fall together if I stayed
calm. Intuitively, I know Master often guides me. The final product was
a display that was free-standing without having to be strapped or
weighted down to resist the wind. Practitioners commented that they
were amazed at how these displays would just swing to and fro in the
wind, while other displays they had to chase down.
I was also asked to give a speech on the "CCP's History of Killing" at
a rally. I didn't have time to prepare and didn't know how to go about
it. I just printed out a bunch of stuff. I sat myself down a half hour
before the rally and reviewed everything. In ten minutes an approach
popped into my head, and a sense of righteousness and conviction
swelled up. I gave the speech off the cuff and I felt what I was given
was just the right ingredients that enabled me to give a powerful
speech, the best I ever did, and I could see even the people across the
street were paying attention.
Sometimes after a long spell when I didn't study Fa, when I started
reading again, a flood of understanding would come up, fulfilling the
vacuum that was left by my insufficient Fa study. This enabled me to
maintain my righteous belief in Master. Often I would need to write
things for Fa-rectification, and I would enlighten to so many things in
my writing I was amazed. When I picked up the book to read again I
would see all these understandings are in the book that I didn't notice
before. So despite my lacking behind a little in my Fa study when I get
busy with Dafa work, I was able to keep up my righteous belief in Dafa.
This I believe was Master's compassion in helping me to stay in course.
And I believe above all that we have to have a staunch belief in
Master, otherwise we cannot be assured of staying on the right path.
But before long this became complacency. When I got busy I was prone to
skip reading and practicing the exercises. Gradually I started to give
in to the attachment of comfort, feeling that I need more sleep and
stay in bed longer, or watch a little TV with my roommates as to
conform to ordinary people as much as possible and not to appear
non-sociable and self-centered. The fact is I've given in to the
temptations of relaxing a little bit rather than getting myself up to
go and study Fa or exercise.
In Zhuan Falun,
Teacher said, "Some people cannot bear the pain in sitting with the
legs like that, and they want to give up by putting the legs down. Some
people cannot bear it anymore after sitting a little longer. Once the
legs are put down, one's practice is in vain. Once the legs are in
pain, one will do some warm-ups before resuming the sitting position.
We find that this serves no use whatsoever."
In my mind, procrastination, hesitancy, laziness and so on are like
putting my legs down. I've been as though taking breaks, and resume
when I've relaxed a little bit - it will however serve no use
whatsoever. That karma is still around and I have not gotten rid of it.
How can an enlightened being be in such a state?
Actually, the miracles I described in my Dafa work are not a big deal
either and are the manifestation of the power of Dafa in our
Fa-rectification work and cultivation; they manifests as a result of my
righteous thoughts and righteous actions as a Fa-rectification
disciple. It should not used as an indicator to how I am doing.
In "Teaching the Fa in San Francisco in 2005," Master related a little
bit how sentient beings in other dimension might elevate themselves in
their cultivation and work,
"When you are able to create good things, it is because you are a good
person or because you have done something good. Conversely, only when
gods see that you are a good person will they grant you wisdom and
allow you to create things."
This was a loophole of lack of diligence as a Fa-rectification period
Dafa disciple. This is not a light thing. Master has provided us with
the best path there ever could be and the possibility of the highest
position we can reach. Not taking this precious opportunity we are
granted is, in my mind, the stupidest thing.
I am not referring to the attainment status that we can reach in the future, but the level of compassion and xinxing
we can now cultivate; the enlightening to the Great Law of the cosmos,
and the capacity that we would need as great protectors of the new
cosmos that Master has install for us. In looking back, I can see areas
where I could have done better if I had studied the Fa more, and a xinxing
that still needs improving, these are lost opportunities and it was all
due to my lack of due diligence. How high and pure our cultivation
reaches will determine how much mighty virtue we will bring to the new
cosmos.
At the same time, the more diligent we are the more improvements we can
make, and the more impact we will have for saving sentient beings in
the Fa-rectification period. What we say, what we do, and what we think
all have a powerful impact in saving sentient beings. This can only be
accomplished if we stick diligently to the 3 things we have to do.
I regret lapsing into this big loophole. One practitioner reminded me,
"If you fall down get up immediately." Yes, I am up. Let's treasure
this solemn and sacred opportunity that Master has given all of us.
Let's work as one body.
