PureInsight | May 13, 2002
Greetings Master Li and fellow practitioners.
I am a new Falun Gong practitioner. I had studied Tai Chi for a number of years for a back problem. Practicing Tai Chi helped reduce my suffering somewhat. I knew the Tai Chi I was being taught was not the total teachings, but practicing relaxed my body. I found that although I practiced a lot, the pain would resume when I left the building. I did not know about predestined relationships, karma, or the cultivation method practicing would lead me to.
I used to read the newspaper everyday. Once in a while, a story about the persecution of a group called Falun Dafa would catch my eye. I would read a story but quickly forget about the group. On a certain day, I read of a Falun Dafa practitioners’ site at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. I did not know at the time why, but I was moved to attend the class. I went to the practice site and followed the practitioners’ movements. I felt a powerful force while practicing but only considered this another qigong method. After the exercises, we went to a second room. The practitioners were reading a book aloud in Chinese and English. I sat for a while and just listened. Before leaving, a practitioner allowed me to borrow the book Zhuan Falun. After reading the book once, I had found the answers to some of my questions about life. What I did not expect was answers to questions I never thought to ask. I learned more about life, death, old age and illness in a few days reading that book than in a whole lifetime of reading and teachers. The more I read, the more ignorant I felt. Thanks to the compassion of Teacher and the higher beings, I have been allowed to study the Fa. Realizing what I have been given, I hope to obtain a higher understanding of the Fa.
Since beginning true cultivation practice, many changes have occurred in me. The back and knee pain, which was constant, is gone. I would also like to relate a personal cultivation story that occurred in the last week. Walking home from work one day, my head was filled with thoughts of problems, which constantly ran around in my head. All of a sudden a gust of wind blew dirt in my eye. The dirt was irritating my eye but I figured it to be no big deal. I thought I could just pull my eyelid down, the eye would water, and out would come the dirt. The whole way home led to frustration because the dirt would not come out. By nighttime, I left the eye alone and hoped the dirt would come out on its own, as I had tried everything else. The next day, the dirt was still in my eye and the next day and the next day. By the fourth day, I was so frustrated that I decided to go to the eye doctor. Suddenly the realization came to me, I'm a practitioner. I told myself to relax. My body has its own intelligence and this intelligence would take care of the problem. Sure enough, the next day the dirt slowly dissolved from my eye. After telling this story to some practitioners, I thought this was a light metaphor about letting everyday thinking and attachments fade away. But the more I thought about the story, the more profound it became. Master Li knows everything encompassing the universe and nothing happens by accident. Teacher knew exactly how to get through to me, a practitioner stuck at the level of an everyday person, and I appreciated his sense of humor.
These thoughts occurred to me while attending a weekend of sending forth righteous thoughts. Practitioners gathered together to send righteous thoughts, every hour for four days straight, to eliminate the evil. I thought this would be a good opportunity to raise my level. In between sending forth righteous thoughts, activities occurred in every room. In one room, practitioners were reviewing cultivation experiences for this Fa conference. After hearing a few stories, I knew writing about my practice would expose more of my attachments. The earlier story I told, to me personally, was very enlightening but I know that the Fa is so profound and complex and my understanding is not very high.
As I wish to cultivate to higher levels, I read the experience reports of persecuted practitioners. I thought of the story of Zhang Cuiying. Mrs. Zhang was arrested on September 13, 1999 for disturbing 'social order' or practicing Falun Gong. While in jail she asked the guard if she could practice the exercises of Falun Gong in her cell. The guard challenged her to practice, and she did. The torture began immediately. The guards struck her face repeatedly, but she remained calm. She remembered how much Falun Gong had given her and saw this punishment as a tribulation to cultivate. After beating her, the guards then chained her arms and legs to a piece of metal called di lao. This is a very heavy metal fence and the guards forced her to walk back to her cell. The weight of the di lao made walking very painful and slow. Her suffering was so great she thought of asking for help from some prisoners. Then her inspiring thoughts came forward. 'No, I should walk by myself because it is my own tribulation. I have to cultivate on my own. No one else can do it for me. I have to walk.' As she continued to suffer, Master Li's voice came into her ear. 'If you want to pass, you can overcome, unless you don't want to.' When I read Mrs. Zhang’s experience report, I am always moved. After a while I thought: Why am I crying? Should I be moved beyond compassion? After much thinking, I came to the realization that I am afraid. I am afraid if the torture happened to me, would I renounce Teacher? Would the torture and pain bring forth some attachments that I failed to cultivate? Every time I think of Mrs. Zhang words 'I have to cultivate on my own, no one else can do it for me,' I remember Master Li's words that we all should cultivate, but we all have our own path.
I am only beginning my cultivation. I do not know my cultivation path yet but the Fa is precious and we should all cultivate Zhen, Shan, Ren, as time is also precious.
Thank you for listening and helping in my cultivation practice.
Presented at the Boston Fahui, April, 2002.
