PureInsight | March 4, 2002
The article entitled 'We Must Cultivate Shan' posted on Clearwisdom.net really touched my heart. I would like to share some of my understanding of this topic - the cultivation of Shan.
From the moment I realized that Falun Dafa is the righteous Fa and what cultivation means, I wanted to be a genuine Dafa disciple. I used to cry over my strong sentimentality that I couldn't get rid off. I was also very frustrated when I couldn't detect my attachments. However, with an unshakable faith in Dafa, I persevered in the course of my cultivation. One thing I have been enlightened to is the importance of simultaneously cultivating 'Zhen-Shan-Ren,' not to emphasize one and think less of the others. Master has taught us in Zhuan Falun, 'Our Falun Dafa is based upon the highest standard of the universe, Zhen, Shan, and Ren, all of which we cultivate simultaneously. The system that we cultivate is enormous.' (From 'Zhen-Shan-Ren is the Sole Criterion to Discern Good and Bad People' in Lecture One) Overly stressing one aspect will cause an omission, and lead to deviation from the Falun Dafa cultivation way.
Just the same as other overseas practitioners, my major tribulations do not come from everyday people's conflicts. This is because everyday people's fame, self interest and sentiments can't move me any longer, because they have lost their ground of existence in my life. The major tribulations manifest from among my fellow practitioners while working together on the same projects, from xinxing clashes with my family members who are all practitioners. Often times, I would criticize my fellow practitioners and family members when I saw their attachments and when I believed that they did not meet the standards of Dafa. I still recall an incident in which I made a practitioner cry. At that time, I couldn't understand what 'truthful' meant and I thought that my opinions were based on the Fa. I went on to comment on her being 'overly reacting and too sensitive'. And I thought, 'How can one practice cultivation if one is unable to handle some truthful words?' There have been other incidents. Somehow, I learned to look inward during a conflict or tribulation and I was able to see some shortcomings, such as a bad attitude, lack of compassion, attachment to my own observations or perspectives, and so on. I would criticize myself for not being able to show compassion. But when I faced the same situation again at another time, I would end up with the same result.
Why was it like that? It is because I forgot to cultivate 'Shan' simultaneously when cultivating 'Zhen.' I stressed the cultivation of 'Zhen,' but was ignorant of thinking of others first. I was inconsiderate of others and I did not realize that my words were hurtful. The 'truthfulness' that I upheld was based on a notion centered on 'me,' not on others. From a fundamental point of view, it was a reflection of 'selfishness.' As a result of my bombarding this other person, I hurt her badly without resolving any problems. It was not until the time that I had a chance to work together with another group of people from outside the New York area, that I was able to make a breakthrough.
In the course of working on a special project, people had all different points of views and understandings of the task, plus a lack of communication. I sent out some promotion materials without consulting the head of the group based on my own judgment. When they found out what I had done, the head of the group demanded that I explain my actions in front of the whole group at a meeting, and a few others were also very upset about my wrongdoing. It came so suddenly. I was speechless because before the meeting I had never thought of the need of asking for permission from the leader. Of course I was shocked and sad. I was sad not because I was criticized, but because I saw a mirror, a mirror that was reflecting an unpleasant image of myself that I had been reluctant to admit for a long time. I saw myself bossing other practitioners as if I were superior. I felt so shameful at my attitude towards others, and was shocked to realize what a pain and embarrassment the attitude would cause to people. I was also deeply sorry for not being able to realize my attachment for such a long time that Master had to make a special arrangement for me to see it.
I now understood why Master has said that because we cultivate a righteous way, we have to treat every person with kindness and benevolence. I understood that we should implement and practice benevolence between one another among our fellow practitioners. Everyday people, when they come across a person with different or opposing ideas, will enter into an argument or a vicious attack; some even go to such an extreme as to launch a fight to force others to comply. In order to keep a certain social order, human society has created complex laws, regulations, and a whole system of administrative methods to discipline people. But Dafa practitioners want to walk away from human notions. We strive to break through from all deviated rules and structures arranged by the old forces. How could we adopt ordinary people's methods to run our Dafa work, to spoil this pure land of our practitioners?
Master has unveiled to us how 'Fa Wang' rules their paradise in heaven: 'Tathagata have their own paradises, so he needs to manage his paradise. But his management is purely conducted by 'Shan'; he uses benevolent compassion to melt the living beings in his paradise, not like humans who use administrative methods, not like that.' ('Lecture on Experience Sharing Conference in Mid U.S.').
If we are living beings from high levels, if we are predestined to be responsible for many other living beings, how would we face these living beings? After incarnating for so many life times in the human world, our inborn quality of 'Shan' has been covered by dirt, layer after layer. Because we had deviated from the universal characteristic, we fell to this human world. Today, we are so fortunate to obtain the Fa and we are now able to cultivate and return to our true self. I realized that every small thing we are doing is actually a learning opportunity given to us by Dafa. Through this learning and practice process, we are enabled to get rid of our human notions and attachments, and ultimately to find our long lost inborn nature 'Zhen, Shan, Ren.' All Dafa practitioners, including the relatively new ones, each participates in a certain project, or is put in charge of a group project. If we can each consciously implement 'Shan,' and benevolent compassion in managing each and every project and coordinate among participants, what a realm would we achieve? What difficulties can we not overcome?
After being enlightened to the importance of simultaneously cultivating 'Zhen' and 'Shan,' I was able to achieve a fundamental change in my heart and mindset. During the few days after that incident, I found so many admirable good qualities in my fellow practitioners. I found that I could learn so much from each one of them. A sincere feeling of humbleness arose from the bottom of my heart. I felt that my whole body became lighter and softer.
As we have all experienced: a tribulation test won't work if your heart is not moved. Not long after the prior incident, I was bestowed with another xinxing test, even more challenging. It happened when several practitioners were discussing a phenomenon that had existed for quite a long period of time at our practice site. Although a lot of us tried to help solve the problem, the person involved simply wouldn't improve. Then I said that maybe we should look inside to see if we had undetected attachments that we hadn't realized; that we couldn't make others change, but we could adjust our own way to improve the situation. I went on to reveal my own attachments on this matter. It was out of my expectation that my comments were met with strong criticism, some even said that I was the source of the problem and none of them had any attachment regarding this matter.
Facing this confrontation, I first examined myself by viewing from the Fa. I didn't see that my understanding of the matter was incorrect. But why did others show such a strong resentment? I realized it was targeted at my attachment of not being able to implement 'Ren.' My intention was righteous, but the others didn't understand me. I knew I had to look inside and to cultivate inside, and I must not bear any negative feelings towards my fellow practitioners. It was indeed a tough tribulation. I told myself that I must have a problem in my way of talking. Did I show off that I was right and others were less enlightened? Did I bear a superior attitude? I must have shown that, or others wouldn't feel so differently. I cried, because I had been trying so hard to abandon all these attachments and yet I was not able to completely remove them. I pledged to Master: This time I am going to cultivate internally and I am not going to look externally no matter how hard it seems to be, and I am going to be a genuine Dafa desciple. It was also on that same evening, for the first time, I experienced the power of cultivating inward, felt the changes in me both spiritually and physically. I completed a whole process of enlightenment to the universal truth from theory to practice.
From the bottom of my heart, grew an endless gratitude to our Master's grand and boundless compassion and wisdom that guide me in the course of returning to a higher realm of 'Zhen Shan Ren.' A sincere appreciation flew out towards my fellow practitioners who assisted me in removing the stubborn substance that had hindered me from returning to my true self.
It is my understanding that only by simultaneously cultivating 'Zhen Shan Ren,' can we remove all our attachments. Simultaneous cultivation of 'Zhen Shan Ren' is the requirement of Falun Dafa for the practitioners. To cultivate 'Zhen Shan Ren' simultaneously, we must not try to cover our attachments and we must dare to face them and admit them. They will be removed at the moment when we dare to admit our attachments, because their roots would be cut off. To cultivate 'Zhen Shan Ren' simultaneously, we should solidly cultivate inward and concentrate on improving our xinxing, and not seek a nice superficial appearance for others to see. Master says: 'Superficial changes are for others to see. Whether or not you can be saved depends on the changes and ascension of your own heart. If change does not occur there, you cannot improve and nothing can be achieved.' ('Dafa Cannot be Used' from Essentials for Further Advancement)
My fellow practitioners, let us constantly remind ourselves of Master's teachings, strive forward diligently along the course of cultivation to answer our Master's profound benevolent salvation.
