PureInsight | November 5, 2001
There are many events being planned and sometimes it’s just a matter of choosing which one is best to participate in. In this process I have found something quite evil hiding in me deep down inside. Recently a project’s aim was changed and it made me very uncomfortable. I quickly found various external reasons to explain my unrest. But then I stopped and took a hard look inside and began to study the Fa.
In short, I was choosing activities that I felt would be successful to further validate myself as a good disciple. However, when this project changed, the requirement also got higher. I had to put down more of myself for the Fa and it seems I was resisting Master’s arrangement for me.
This is such a filthy heart. I even wanted to plagiarize and usurp the Law. It was well hidden by 'Important Law Rectification Activities'. I would see myself 'as doing the most righteous thing' and then become complacent. This is evil and with this heart my efforts are in vain, even if the events are a success, which can make this even attachment worse.
Once I saw this I felt paralyzed and didn't know what to do. I could only sense this separation between myself and the Law. So I calmed down and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the most fundamental nature of this evil being that separated me from the Law. Eliminate it from the origin of its existence and all the particles that comprised its being, leaving nothing left. After some struggle it was gone.
I looked back down to continue reading and began to weep, as there it was: the Law. Right in front of me. In the molecules that made Zhuan Falun, in my mind and in my heart, throughout the entire universe.
He shi
