PureInsight | February 16, 2004
[PureInsight.org] I have started to reflect upon my past these days. I am not attached to the past; I am doing so only to learn from my past wrongs and to walk the rest of the journey well.
I hope that everyone will also try to reflect upon their past sometimes.
As I was reflecting upon the journey I have taken so far, I felt I was reading a book, listening to a song, or gazing at a painting.
If I compare my life to a book, that book contains many stories of my life. As I read the book of my life, I was once again struck with feelings of joy, pain, sadness, and happiness, and was reminded of the sentiments of the material world.
If I compare my life to a song, then it must be an old song that had brought me joys as well as tears.
If I compare my life to a painting, then it is a very large painting with hundreds of scenes from my past. I am proud of some and embarrassed by others.
Everyone has done some things in his life that make him more or less proud, and some things that fill his heart with shame and regret.
But is everyone able to let go attachments to past glory and fame, and also overcome the feeling of despair that arises from failure?
Can we face our conscience and say that we have done nothing wrong? Can we face our future generations and say that we have not sinned? Can we say that we have no regrets when we part with this world?
I don't know your answers, but I cannot say "yes" to these questions.
Perhaps you might be curious enough to ask, "Are you saying that you have done bad things, you have sinned, and you are regretting past wrongs?"
"Yes."
I have done bad things when I unintentionally hurt others.
I have sinned for I have agreed to have an abortion and murdered an unborn life.
I regret and I feel ashamed of myself when I lag behind in my cultivation after I have so luckily obtained the Buddha Fa and have been offered salvation by Teacher Li Hongzhi.
Please do not worry about me for I am not in the depths of despair. I am trying to calm down and reflect upon my life in order to remove my attachments and keep my virtues.
Now that I have obtained the Buddha Fa, I no longer feel sorrowful when I revisit my sad memories, and I no longer feel painful when I revisit the memory of parting with loved ones.
Now that I have obtained the Buddha Fa, I am no longer colored in gloomy gray or melancholy black. Instead, I am colored in lovely pink and serene blue.
Now that I have obtained the Buddha Fa, there are no angry or emotional notes in the song of my life. The soothing and meditative quietness is now my song of life.
When I revisit my life after I have obtained the Buddha Fa, it now appears to be a beautiful painting of magnificent meanings.
As I finish revisiting my life, I have started a new journey.
This path of this journey is clear as bell.
It is as if I have been given a piece of sheet music, and all I need to do is to sing it.
It is as if I have been asked to create a painting for which idea and composition have been done, and all I need to do is to paint it.
If is as if I have been given a script, and all I need to do is to play my role in the play.
My path of life from this point on will be sacred and promising for the path leads to eternal radiance and glory.
I shall do my utmost to walk each step on the remaining journey well, and I shall cherish the time that has been given to me.
The time shall come when the radiance of Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance shines everywhere. When the time comes, I shall answer to everyone, "During the time that has been given to me by the Buddha, I have done no bad things, I have not sinned, and I have no regret!"
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2004/2/2/25637.html
