PureInsight | March 27, 2014
[PureInsight.org] Two months ago, I suddenly felt a great pain under one of my armpits. I woke up from the pain several times at night. The pain also brought some numbness on my arm and fingers. My mother had died of cancer, and the symptoms that I had were very similar to what my mother had experienced right before her death. The pain was so terrible, it made me appreciate why people used the term “tortured by one’s disease” to describe the suffering from such pain. I knew it must be terrible to experience physical pain; however, I didn’t personally feel such pains before. Now, I understood how painful it was. Understanding something is different from experiencing the actual thing. One might understand what the books are talking about, but whether or not one genuinely gets enlightened to the principles from the books is a completely different story.
When I was awakened by the pain from my sleep, I would push my pillow hard against the place where the pain started. I could hardly breathe. Tears began to drop from my eyes, and water running down my nose. I began to ask myself, “What am I doing? Am I a Dafa practitioner? Others have their diseases cured after practicing Falun Dafa. I have been practicing Falun Dafa for more than 10 years now. How could I run into this problem now? Where is the root cause for this problem?” My mind became very clear. Could I have inherited the same cancer from my mother? It might be true because all the symptoms seemed to agree; however, I shouldn’t use any human notions to treat this issue. Cultivators won’t develop any illness, and I was a genuine Dafa cultivator. Could it be some kind of interference generated by the evil forces? If yes, then that meant I must have certain shortcomings and needed to look inward to find my attachments. Could it be “sickness karma”? Why did I try to associate it with illness? I decided that I must treat the Fa as my sole source of principles, I should get rid of my human notions, and I should start to develop strong righteous thoughts on this issue.
In the article “To the Chicago Fa Conference”, Master Li mentions: “Whatever you experience during your cultivation—whether good or bad—is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating. A cultivator cannot achieve Consummation when laden with human thoughts, laden with karmic debts, or laden with attachments.”
In the article “Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference”, Master Li also mentions: “Those ordeals and the suffering, no matter how great or harsh you find them to be, are good things, because they take place solely on account of your cultivation.”
I began to understand from the above teachings that everything I ran into was actually good for me. No matter whether it was “sickness karma”, cancer, or interference, now that I had run across this problem, it was a good thing for me.
My understanding on this issue was very clear now, but the physical pain was still very hard to forget. I wanted to know where I might have fallen short in my cultivations, and how I could do better so that I could genuinely turn this suffering into something good.
After looking inward, I began to understand what I needed to do: since I was awakened from my sleep by this pain, I should just treat this pain as a wake-up call for me to get up earlier, to send forth righteous thoughts, to study the Fa and to practice the exercises. From then on, whenever I was awakened from my sleep by the pain, I would get up and start to send forth righteous thoughts until the pain was gone no matter how long it took. I would then study the Fa and practice the exercises every day. My laziness in cultivation was thus gone. I said to myself, “Now that there is no return path for me, I will just go ahead and become more diligent in my cultivation. I will do the ‘three things’ better. No matter whether I have the pain or not, I will always do the ‘three things’. If this pain is serving as a wake-up call for me, I will treat it as my wake-up call, and I should thank it for pushing me to be a more diligent Falun Dafa practitioner.”
Now, even though I had expected to have a long-lasting battle against my pain, I began to have trouble holding onto myself after a couple of days. I was awakened from my sleep by the pains again. I felt very terrible for myself. I was very depressed and desperate. How could such a trivial problem make me suffer so much?
Why was I awakened from my sleep by the pain again? Had I genuinely become a diligent practitioner? In my pains, I suddenly remembered what had happened to me a couple of times during my sitting meditation before. For three times while I was doing the sitting meditation, I felt so much pain that I opened my eyes. I now realized that I had fallen asleep while doing the sitting meditation. Master Li made me wake up from my sleep. I needed to understand that I was not seriously practicing the sitting meditation. What I was doing was just a waste of time. I was still sleeping even though I was sitting in a cross-legged position.
I decided that I must strictly follow the requirements for practicing the exercises. While doing the sitting meditation, I would keep my back straight, hold my chin up, and raise my arms up in the air as required. I would sit there in a straight position. I would ask Master Li to reinforce me so that I would not fall asleep.
Later, I also reflected on what had happened to me while I was physically beaten by the police before. I didn’t seem to feel any pains then, why? Because deep in my heart, I had no fear; I didn’t think too much about those police forces. Now, why was I experiencing this physical pain? Who was making me suffer? I decided that I would push the pains onto whatever was making me suffer. I wanted that entity to suffer from the pains instead so that the entity would simply run away from me whenever it saw me.
I also came to understand that cultivators should treat themselves differently from ordinary Qigong practitioners. Cultivators treat any physical discomfort as some kind of karma elimination. Such discomfort might seem like illness, yet a genuine cultivator should never treat such discomfort as illnesses in his mind. Now that I had developed this physical pain and numbness symptom, I would just treat it as some good thing for me to cultivate. I decided that from then on, I would give this pain of mine a new term: “non-pain”.
In the book of “Zhuan Falun”, Master Li mentions: “Nothing is as profound as BUDDHA LAW. Of all teachings in the world it is the most wondrous and highest science. To open up this field, ordinary people have to fundamentally change their way of thinking. Failing that, the reality of the universe will forever remain something of a myth to mankind, and ordinary people will forever grope around inside the box created by their own ignorance.” Master Li also says: “The difference in one thought leads to different results. “
The last time when I was awakened from my sleep by pain, I got up and sat down. I then kept murmuring “non-pain” to the part of my body where the pain developed. I held up steadily, I never developed any doubts, I never wavered, I kept my thoughts focused, I tried to use all my power to tell all those pain cells that I was not feeling any pain, and I said to those cells, “We are not suffering from any pain. I am not feeling any pain!”
Suddenly, a gentle cold breeze seemed to swipe over the pain area. I could sense the coldness. Well, right after that, the pain was gone. I didn’t experience the pain anymore from then on. I figured that my Xinxing might have reached a certain level, and Master Li didn’t allow such an interference to continue to bother me anymore.
Later, whenever I felt any discomfort, I would use the same method. I would focus my mind onto the part of discomfort, telling those cells there that I was not suffering at all, and it worked very well.
Now, the numbness symptom didn’t go away for more than one month primarily because I had treated this numbness as a really good thing, I thought that it was some kind of sign indicating that my cultivation was improving. I had not realized that this numbness sensation was actually part of the pain, so I had somewhat ignored it.
I have just shared my story of recovering from my pain, and how I fought against this apparent hereditary cancer disease. As a matter of fact, I have never treated any discomfort as illness. I wanted to use this chance to help improve my cultivation. It can also be said that I have solved the problem with a kind hand; I have treated this issue as something that gave me more motivation for cultivation, so I also want to acknowledge this problem. When I was sending forth righteous thoughts, I wanted to get rid of all the arrangements made by the old evil forces, I wanted to get rid of all those evils forces and elements that were trying to persecute my cultivation, and I wanted to dissolve those fundamental elements that had made me suffer from the pain or interferences. I have also been very optimistic with myself. I have always been very confident of my success.
I want to share one more story that is somewhat related to the above story. In the following story, I had changed my human notions to overcome a freezing coldness.
One winter, I was walking on the street trying to post Shen Yun posters. It was so cold my body started to shake. I told myself, “Master Li tells us that mercy can solve any hardship. I must use my utmost mercy to help promote Shen Yun. The wind that is blowing hard against me should feel like a spring breeze. I should call this winter a warm season and a hot summer a cold season. Since this is a warm spring, the breezes should be gentle, I should not shake and I should raise my head.” I then raised my head to welcome the “warm” wind. I had a very strong determination to save more people in my heart. My heart was warm and I kept walking ahead. With just such a change of notion in my mind, I stopped feeling the coldness. The sun appeared in the afternoon, and it indeed got warmer.
My personal understanding is that once one’s human notions are changed, once one applies the theories to practice, one will understand Falun Dafa is true. Now, all the principles, all the teachings are available in the books and scripture. If we wholeheartedly put our faith in Falun Dafa, if we apply those principles to our daily activities, mentality can turn into physical matter. As soon as we become enlightened to it, we will get to see the results. Our mind and our body will be integrated into a single entity, and our righteous mind will guide us forward.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/126294
