My Cultivation Experience and Some of My Understandings

A Dafa Practitioner in the San Francisco Bay Area

PureInsight | March 19, 2009

Experience sharing at the 2009 Los Angeles Fa Conference

[PureInsight.org]
Greetings, esteemed Master!
Greetings, fellow practitioners!

I started to practice Falun Gong in the summer of 2002 when I was in Taiwan. One day, my younger brother brought back a Falun Dafa flyer when he took a walk in a park, and he left it on the table. I accidentally picked it up and looked at it. I was immediately attracted to the three characters “Zhen-Shan-Ren” and decided to buy Zhuan Falun from a bookstore.

I tried two bookstores, but I could not find the book. So I didn’t continue. It was probably a test for my determination to cultivate. A few days later, I went to climb a mountain with a friend of mine. We set out at around five in the morning. When we passed a park, I saw Falun Gong practitioners practicing the exercises together and I went over. The coordinator at the practice site was very warm-hearted. She told me that they practice the exercises at this location every day. She asked me if I would be interested in attending the nine-day seminar. My joyfulness was beyond description. A few days later, I continued my search for Zhuan Falun in several other bookstores. Finally, I bought a copy and I read it through for a whole night. I then attended the nine-day seminar and exercise learning session. On my way home on the ninth day, I felt so light that I was almost hopping and jumping. My heart was filled with happiness. I knew then that this was the path I was going to take. Whenever I recall my experience of obtaining Dafa, I am very thankful. I thank Master for not giving up on any disciples.

In 2003, I decided to get married and emigrate to the U.S. It was a turning point for my career as well as for my cultivation. As I was a new-comer in the U.S., I had a language barrier. On top of that, my husband and I had very different family backgrounds, and I could not get along well with my in-laws. I could not find a suitable job at the beginning because I was a manager of a small company when I was in Taiwan and I refused to take just any type of job. In addition, my whole family was in Taiwan. I felt I sacrificed my career and had to leave my dear mother, and was left with no friends to communicate with because of my marriage. I felt unbalanced… I was filled with human sentiments, and failed to realize that this was precisely a good opportunity to get rid of all the attachments I had before. Although every time I knew I didn’t pass the test, I still felt it was heart-wrenching and forgot I should endure as a cultivator and put down human attachments. Gradually, I realized I should spend more time studying the Fa, and maintain a righteous mind, keep a compassionate heart, and a peaceful mentality. If I always consider others first whenever I encounter anything, I would not get so irritated when conflicts arise.

In Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun, Master said, “Why do you encounter these problems? They are all caused by your own karma. We have already eliminated for you many, numerous pieces of it, leaving only that tiny bit which is divided into tribulations at different levels for upgrading your xinxing, tempering your mind, and removing your different attachments. These are all your own tribulations that we use to improve your xinxing, and you will be able to overcome them. As long as you upgrade your xinxing, you can overcome them. Unless you, yourself do not want to do so, you can make it, provided you want to overcome them. Therefore, from now on when you come across a conflict you should not consider it a coincidence. This is because when a conflict occurs, it will take place unexpectedly. But that is not a coincidence—it is for improving your xinxing. As long as you treat yourself as a practitioner, you can handle it properly.”

At the same time, I often share my improved understandings with my husband and how I understood the reason for failing to pass each test. As time passed by, the conflicts among family members were less acute, even though they were not completely resolved. My husband also started to cultivate Dafa and became my fellow practitioner.

In 2006, I started my first job in the U.S. On the first day, my colleague who was also starting her first day was assigned a desk at the main office hall, while I was assigned to work at a front desk at the main entrance. The computer was up on a very high desk and I had to sit on a high chair to raise my arms to type. There was a high-speed printer behind my chair and a water cooler at my side. I had to endure the rumbling printer and the noise of the door as well as being bothered by those who took a paper cup from the front desk when they wanted to drink water. After a few days, my back was aching and my hands and arms felt sore. I really felt unbalanced. My immediate supervisor was a fellow from my hometown in Taiwan. How come I could not have a desk placed in a good location?

I talked to my husband about this situation. He could not stand seeing me suffer hardship, and suggested I should report to the human resource department to demand my rights. However, I realized I was a cultivator, and to cultivate one has to endure hardship! How could I not let go of human notions? When I realized this, I put down the unbalanced mentality. Then it seemed my arms and my back didn’t feel the pain as much.

About one week later, I was handling some materials according to the instructions of a colleague of mine. My supervisor came to my desk to check my progress. He seemed to have different opinions than my colleague. I didn’t consider his perspective, however, and continued to handle it in the way I was told to. Then he suddenly raised his voice and took me to the center of the main office. He told everyone how I made a gross mistake and made some very embarrassing statements. That was the most serious humiliation I had ever had since graduating from school. Tears almost burst into my eyes, but I knew I must not cry. I must pass this test. I held my tears and said, “Thank you. I will pay more attention!”

During the break in the afternoon, I called my husband to tell him what had happened. But I could not hold my tears this time. My husband said, “If you don’t want to do it, just stop it. You do not have to work…” I thought to myself, “No. This is the test I have to pass and the tribulation I have to endure.” I wiped my tears and came back to continue my work. Although I endured it, I still felt I was wronged. In the article, “What is Forbearance,” (Essentials for Further Advancement), Master said: “Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.”

Later on, a senior colleague was very unhappy about me and was unfriendly towards me for some unknown reason. She often found fault with me at work, and intentionally ignored me when we ran into each other. She also gossiped with other colleagues about me. I didn’t know why and I didn’t want to care about it. However, one day in the morning, I clearly heard her reporting to our manager that I wasted paper by printing stuff that should not be printed. As a matter of fact, I was only printing in this manner because another colleague asked me to do so. I really wanted to go over to clarify, but I didn’t. After that, she badmouthed me in front of another colleague, and I felt very bad. I then realized that I am a cultivator. Why do I care about ordinary people’s bad behavior? I am above and beyond such conflicts. I felt calm and carefree. I no longer felt angry or sad.

One day, a colleague of mine who was also critical towards me said to me: “Hi, Daisy, you are always smiling every time I see you.” She said she had a short temper and that was why she did not pay much attention to her attitude. She wanted to apologize and said, “You are so fortunate.” I replied, “That’s right. It is because I am a cultivator.” Before long, human resource staff members came to inspect my work setup. They determined that my original desk was too small and my original seat was not up to ergonomic safety standards and changed my seat to a desk used by a previous manager who had left.

I later joked about my environment with my husband. Many of the things I didn’t like are exactly what I am experiencing now after I started to cultivate. I did not want to be a civil servant; now I work at a government agency. I did not want to marry a civil servant; my husband now works at a government agency as well. I did not like short guys, but my husband is not tall at all. Aren’t all these meant to eliminate my attachments?

During the 2008 New York Fahui, when I saw our Master, my eyes were filled with tears. I knew that I had stumbled along during individual cultivation and in xinxing tests. I didn’t really do the three things well. I could not help saying to Master in my heart: “I must be diligent from now on and become a genuine practitioner.”

After we came back from the Fahui, my husband and I were devoted in truth clarification projects, and we both joined the celestial band. We were also involved in the layout design for the Epoch Times and ticket promotion for Divine Performing Arts.

When we beat the drums during the parade, I understood and experienced what Master refers to in the 2006 “Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles,”  namely that “…many, many heavenly soldiers and generals were charging forward.”

Later, when I became a member of the Epoch Times staff, I realized that numerous Dafa disciples devote to this amazingly wonderful project whole-heartedly.

When I put on the empress costume to hand out flyers on the street and sell tickets for the Divine Performing Arts’ performances at the markets, I could feel that I had the energy field of a Dafa disciple. Disregarding the bitter cold weather, I could stand the whole day without water, restroom breaks, or food, and I would not want to leave or take off my empress costume.

On the night of the Divine Performing Arts’ performance, when the stage curtain was slowly lifted up, tears filled my eyes following one touching song and music performance after another, and divine-like dance…. I could not stop my tears. I truly felt how beautiful and great the Dafa is. I understood that I will work hard to catch up on the path of my cultivation.

Thank you, Master.
Thank you, fellow practitioners.

 

Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2009/3/2/58040.html

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