PureInsight | May 17, 2007
[PureInsight.org] (1) For the
last few days I have been constantly thinking of calling China to
clarify the truth, but it seems I am always busy with something.
I considered using last night to make a few phone calls because it
seemed I had fewer things to do. But in the end, after I was all
ready I realized the Internet at home was not working. Because
what I use is an Internet phone, I was unable to make any phone calls.
This was obviously interference. Even so, it was not a simple matter.
As a matter of fact, I had been apprehensive about clarifying the truth
over the phone, and I would often make excuses for myself because I was
busy with other things. So when I discovered I couldn't access
the Internet, I found an excuse for myself: it isn't that I don't
want to call, rather the "objective conditions" prevent it.
I was astonished at my own thoughts; I knew this was not my true
self. So on one hand I negated this thought, and at the same time
investigated the connection problem, all the while sending forth
righteous thoughts.
After about half an hour, my connection returned to normal, so I picked up the phone...
(2) The matter of my Internet connection being down temporarily led me to think about a lot of other matters.
Lately, my righteous thoughts have not been strong. Because I have been
working on a few extra projects at night lately, I have been going to
bed later. In the morning when it is time to send righteous
thoughts I can't seem to get up. When I realized this, I just
figured that if I went to bed a little earlier I would be able to make
it up in time for morning righteous thoughts. So I went to
bed earlier at night, but I did not make it up earlier in the
morning. So I reconsidered, well I can't get up in the morning
anyway, I might as well get a few more things done at night …
Now looking back, I was being interfered with and this led me to miss
the point. As I looked inward after my Internet connection went
down I finally enlightened that: I am only rectifying the Fa when
the path I walk denies the old forces arrangements.
I recalled that while studying the Fa I had already come to understand this, but now I understood it even more deeply.
Lately, at work, my boss has been a bit harsh and there has also been
some dissatisfaction among my colleagues. In my heart I know I am going
through tribulations. This situation has already been going on
for a while. I know that it may be because I haven't completely put
down my attachments but it may also be because I have not cleaned up
the cause of interference in a timely fashion.
During this time I have come to a deeper level of understanding of what
Teacher means by being kindhearted but iron-willed: in dealing
with all sentient beings we should have kind thoughts and a kind heart
but, in dealing with factors that interfere or damage Fa-rectification,
we should be firm in eliminating them. Furthermore, in cultivation we
must strive forward diligently.
(3) It was not only that once I did not get up to send forth righteous
thoughts. There were also three other times when the effect was not
good when I did send forth righteous thoughts. Two recent matters
reminded me of that.
One happened one day when I realized that the alarm clock at the head
of my bed had the wrong time. It was as if the power had gone out and
the clock had started up again. Only after investigating did I
discover that the plug in the wall was very loose, so loose that it
seemed it could fall out even without anything bumping into it.
So I firmly pushed the plug back in the outlet. At this moment,
my heart jumped: I often considered myself to be a cultivator,
but if I was not meeting the requirements and still pretended I was
holding myself strictly to the requirements of the Fa, was this not
just like this loose electrical plug?
There was also one instance when I went with my wife to the library to
borrow some books. Because it was raining and I was
carrying a number of things I placed the books and my library card,
which is the size of a credit card, under my armpit and walked over
toward my car. At the time I thought, "The library card is so
small it will probably fall out." But I still left it under my
arm, trusting my luck, saying it would fall was just tricking
myself. When I reached my car, as expected, the books were still
under my arm, but the card was not. So I went back to find the
card.
As I think back on the effect of my sending forth righteous thoughts
and studying the Fa, how can it be that things are often this
way? As I think about this and think about that, when I am not
clear headed when I am sitting there, is the effect good? If
things keep up this way for a while, and if I don't take it seriously,
wouldn't that be my deceiving myself?
I should be clear about my cultivation and be a true Dafa disciple.
Translated from: http://zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2007/1/16/41822.html
