PureInsight | April 29, 2007
[PureInsight.org] I have
realized that when I am alone with a person of the opposite sex I tend
to have the low thought, "perhaps this person thinks I am charming." I
know that is not my true thought, but rather thought karma. I had have
had confidence in my appearance ever since I was young. Although I am a
little short, many people around me still admire and pursue me. I also
feel proud. Although this is not obvious, deep down in my heart I do,
indeed, feel quite proud.
In addition the inappropriate self-pride derived from my attempt to
compensate for my sense of inferiority due to my short physical height,
the fact that I was jilted during my first love affair also irritates
me. I like the feeling of being loved very much. Prior to my marriage I
went out with several suitors who approached me. Although I have a
harmonious relationship with my husband, our relationship is more like
one between "mother and daughter," rather than between "husband and
wife." He loves me like my mother does, while I in my heart do not
really care about him. I have always looked younger than my actual age
and I kept in good physical shape even before starting cultivation.
Therefore, even though I am over forty years old, many people of the
opposite sex still express a good deal of interest in me. Although I do
not accept their admiration outwardly, I really feel very happy in my
heart.
Since starting Dafa cultivation, I have started to care for my husband
from my heart and thank him for all he has given to this family.
However, the deteriorated notions and thought karma developed through
several decades emerge easily to interfere when I am alone with a
person of the opposite sex. Once when a man came to solve a problem
with my computer, I didn't reject my bad thoughts, so the evil took the
advantage of the loophole. No matter what he did, the man could not
figure out or solve the computer problem.
My understanding is that the old forces have precisely arranged each
one's life experiences, personality and appearance. The formation of
those notions and thought karma are closely related to the old forces,
and none of our thoughts are simple. The old forces used the excuse
"for us to cultivate and improve" to arrange our life.
"So, in other words, this has been systematically arranged, even since
a time that remote. Then think about it: human society and everything
we can see - could all this exist by accident? Each Dafa disciple's
every move, every action, every word and even the questions one ponders
- none of it is that simple. In the future we will see that everything
was very carefully arranged. But it's not me who arranged this, it's
the old force who did." ("Fa-Lecture at the Florida Conference in the U.S.")
We must correct every one of our thoughts. Writing this article is, on
the one hand, exposing these filthy thoughts and expressing
determination to get rid of them. On the other hand, it is to remind
practitioners who are in similar situations to be cautious in this
regard.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2007/4/19/43384.html
