PureInsight | August 27, 2006
[PureInsight.org] (2006 Experience Sharing Conference in Ireland)
I would like to share with you my experience of letting go of the
attachment to illness and to the state of non-omission which
followed. It was easy to eliminate the attachment to this
illness, but thoughts about it remained that were difficult to
recognise.
I first encountered the cultivation way of Falun Gong in 1999. At that
time I was seriously ill with a progressive heart disease. My
family doctor did not give me much hope that my condition would improve
and this view was confirmed by a cardiovascular specialist. The future
looked bleak. I was surviving by taking medicine, the effect of
which was that other parts of my body were not functioning properly. My
general health was in a dreadful mess and although the medicine was a
factor in keeping me alive, in reality it was actually shortening my
life.
In August 1999 I started to read Zhuan Falun
in the hope that it might heal my illness. I soon gave up this thinking
when I reached page two where Master is quite clear that "you must be
here to genuinely study this Dafa , if you hold various attachments and
come to gain supernormal abilities, have illnesses cured, that will not
work at all." I continued to read the book which had a profound effect
on me. I did not feel ill anymore and made the decision to give up
taking medicine. My thinking completely changed to wanting to live by
this new way of life and I was already convinced that I was being cared
for by the Fa.
I continued to read Zhuan Falun
repeatedly and following Master's guidelines of letting go of
attachments as best I could. However the attachment to the illness or
having been ill was stronger than I could cope with. I believed that
this was because having been ill for some time I had developed a
disposition to it. I had adjusted my daily routine to that of a sick
person. Many of my friends and family still regarded me as a sick
person even though they could see that I had returned to good health
and that I was now a changed person. Through this I may not have let go
of the attachment to the illness completely.
In the article "Non-Omission" (in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Master says, "There is sacrifice in forbearance. Being able to
make sacrifices is an upgrade in our cultivation practice. A
cultivator's understanding of the Fa is his understanding of the Fa at
his cultivation level."
These words indicated that I needed to upgrade my cultivation
level. I must look inside. I I realised that I was
not putting others before myself and I needed to develop compassion and
tolerance.
I read Zhuan Falun
more frequently. I tried to develop heart thinking and to be careful
that anything said did not wrongly affect others. I tried to be
calmer when encountering conflicts and to persist in learning the Fa
from the Fa.
About this time I paid a mandatory visit to my family doctor in
connection with the renewal of my driving licence. My doctor was
aware of my cultivation of Falun Gong as my husband, who is also a
cultivator, had clarified the truth to him and at his request gave him
the book Zhuan Falun.
While I waited to be called to the surgery a state of acute anxiety
overcame me, my thinking was that if any trace of illness was detected,
that might affect the doctor's view of Falun Gong. The doctor
performed the usual perfunctory tests on me and declared that, apart
from my elevated blood pressure level, I was in a remarkably good state
of health and well-being. When I looked inside I realised that my
thinking before entering the surgery was at an everyday person's level.
Again, Master's words came to mind, "For cultivators at different
levels, the Fa has different requirements. Sacrifice is evidenced
by one being detached from an everyday persons attachments. If a
person can indeed calmly abandon everything with his heart being
unmoved, he is actually at that level already. Yet cultivation
practice is to upgrade yourself. You are already able to give up
the attachment, so why not give up the fear of attachment itself as
well. Isn't abandonment without omission a higher sacrifice?"
from"Non-Omission" (in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Again I needed to improve my cultivation state. This time with
more emphasis on getting rid of the attachments of fear and
anxiety. I had cultivated as best I could by enduring
conflicts. Now I try to just cultivate and allow everything to
unfold while all the time trying to cultivate benevolence through heart
thinking. I believe I am making progress because recently I paid
another mandatory visit to my doctor. This time I did not
experience any anxiety or fear. On completion of the medical
examination the doctor told me I had the health of a young person.
I believe that on the first visit to my doctor Master used the
situation to expose my lingering attachment to the illness, also any
attachment and disposition to the state of illness. On the second
visit I felt that I had cultivated beyond this state. I had been
made aware of the necessity to practice cultivation with a clear mind
rather than planning my cultivation in an everyday manner.
