PureInsight | August 23, 2004
[PureInsight.org] The Fa has given us everything we have. It has created our lives and put us on the most sacred path in cultivation. Our human skills and talents are included in everything we have in our lives. These skills and talents have been given to us for the purpose of validating the Fa during this special period of Fa-rectification. Some practitioners have started media outlets, some have created visual artworks, and others have used their skills in many other ways. As we use our skills, we are also in the process of eliminating our human notions and attachment to self. These skills that we have obtained are merely manifestations of Dafa in human society. We have obtained them not to acquire something in the human world but to put them to full use in the process of saving sentient beings.
In the process of my short cultivation experience, I have come to my own understanding about how to walk the right path in using my special skills given to me by the Fa: my high level of musical knowledge and ability. Though I haven't reached any ultimate place of understanding, I hope the process I have gone through up until today can help other practitioners in truly making use of everything they have to save more and more sentient beings.
When I was 10 years old, I started playing guitar. During the next 5 years, I progressed extremely fast and by the time I was 15, I was attending a special high school for the performing arts. My preferred musical style was jazz, and in the eyes of my peers, parents, and teachers, I was quite adept in many aspects of this area. I also studied some classical guitar and much music theory, all of which I excelled at. I practiced several hours a day, and I never had any question about what I wanted to do in my life, to become a professional musician.
At the age of 16, everything changed in the most unexpected and drastic way. I began to develop mysterious pains while playing guitar. It was a nagging soreness that would always appear after an extended amount of playing. Over the next several months the pain increased and started to spread throughout my whole body. In May 2000, after 5 months of my worsening condition, I was forced to stop playing. This was a terrible blow to my soul. I felt hopeless and it seemed as if my life had been cut short. Even though I was in despair, nothing could have prepared me for the doubt and disappointment that waited in the next two and a half years . I originally believed that doctors would be able to fix my problem, but after a year of visiting several different doctors and undergoing treatment regimes, modern medicine proved completely ineffective. It truly felt like what Master has said about the origins of karma in Zhuan Falun, "The other is as if it's transported through a conduit, but it's pretty rare, and all of it is accumulated through the generations. That also happens." As soon as it was treated it would just come back, and I didn't make any progress.
I knew I had to find out myself how to get better, so I began searching in the realms of alternative and Eastern medicine, basically trying everything possible, from diet to supplements, to body workouts, and even some qigong. Things were getting better but slowly, very slowly. Of course, at this time I realized that all the drugs and smoking I had been doing were actually contributing to my problem and I stopped using all substances. I knew I had to look inside but I was so unsure which way to go, and after a year and half of searching and more despair, finally my answer came.
Simply put, when I found Dafa, everything was rectified and harmonized, and my body healed extremely fast. I immediately took to the idea of giving up my attachment to my illness, since I had just wanted to forget about the past 3 years or so. However, after a period of cultivation, my drive to play music was much less, and I didn't see such an importance in it anymore. All I wanted to do was to cultivate and my human aspirations were much less strong. But after I started to gain an understanding of Fa-Rectification, I began to think about how I could use music to clarify the truth.
At first I didn't know where to start, I felt like everything I did before with guitar was degenerate and bad so I didn't want to go back there. I wanted to start fresh and play righteous music. I thought that a really upright instrument was the harp and I could learn traditional and classical music on it. But when I started to seek out ways to obtain a harp and take lessons, I came across all sorts of difficulties. Not being able to see these as signs, I relentlessly pursued what I wanted to do. In the end I found someone to rent a harp and take lessons from. Of course, because of my musical ability, I progressed quite fast, yet I came to realize something: time is so precious right now; it would take a few years to gain proficiency at a new instrument. How could I manage to clarify the truth if I had to spend so much time acquiring basic skills? As Master said in a response to disciples taking basic art classes, "I'll tell you, the basic skills of painting and drawing are not something that can be trained and learned in one or two years. Many people began their training at a young age, and it takes a long time. All those highly accomplished painters have honed their skill for over ten years or even decades." (Atlanta 2003) When I think back on it, I remembered how difficult it was to find a place to get a harp and how impractical it was, I realized that my pursuit had brought me things that were just not supposed to be there. I realized the undue financial strain I had placed on my parents who had been so supportive all along. I decided to give up the harp and focus on what I was already good at, guitar. But what should I do with it? What kind of music should I play? These questions would need to be resolved. And through Fa-study, help from Master, and advice from fellow practitioners, I would eventually gain an understanding that would allow me to be on the working path that I am on today.
The first decision I had to make was this: what style of music to play? I felt that pop and jazz were degenerate, but that classical music wasn't my specialty. Classical guitar is a totally different instrument, and I really don't have those skills. Another and most crucial fact is this: our goal as practitioners is to clarify the truth to as many sentient beings as possible; therefore I felt I should make popular music, especially music that can touch young people, since young people are so lost in so many ways. Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Europe", "Young people nowadays are simply frightening to think about or look at. Sometimes when I see them I'd rather not look. From the inside on out, from the mind to the heart, the behavior to the clothes—nothing in them is upright." I felt I wanted to infiltrate the world of popular culture. Once I came to this understanding, there still left a lot of questions. I used to listen to a lot of electronic music and had a lot of notions from that music. Basically, I just started composing with music software usually used to make techno and hip-hop music. I tried to not use too much synthesized sounds but they certainly were present. The fact was, I still "liked" those sounds based on my human notions.
Another problem I had when making music was my state during the composition process. I would become so moved in my heart, that after only a short while of working on my computer, I would feel my heart beating totally out of control and my righteous thoughts were absent. This wasn't something that SFRT could take care of in a short time, and I found myself needing to listen to the lectures for a long time just to calm down. I felt so distressed, I didn't know whether this was evil interference or my own attachments causing this, what I did know was that much Fa-study was needed and I couldn't stop making music. I came to the understanding that it was the old forces taking advantages of my gaps. When I would make music, because I was so involved in it, I would momentarily forget that my ultimate goal was to clarify the truth and save beings and ordinary attachments of showing off and being famous would inadvertently come into play. I found that when I consistently worked with lyrics, which all had elements of truth in them, I could keep my mind in the right place. Also, whenever I got in an unstable state, I would tell myself, that I wouldn't let those old forces stop me from making music, as it was the most important, sacred thing I could do, and absolutely nothing would stop me.
One thing I noticed was that my creative power was really strong. Ideas would just come to me, usually in my daily life, and I would remember them and put them into music on the computer. Then I would use my music theory knowledge to fill in the rest. That way, I wouldn't totally rely on my ear, and I would keep my music as close to the "rules" as possible. Just like what Master said in response to a question about poetry, "You want to break their rules--is that what you're saying? Actually, that's precisely modern man's mentality after his morality has declined--that is, going against tradition and what's orthodox"(Asia-Pacific 04). I had never really tried to compose music much before this time, and certainly not lyrics. But at this time complete songs started to take shape with lyrics focused on clarifying the truth through direct and indirect means. Even so, I was still unsure about how righteous my music was. I only knew that my heart was there, to save beings.
One event in particular further solidified my understanding on this matter; it was the chance to ask Master Li in person about my issue. Last winter, there was a big meeting with practitioners on the east coast on a specific issue that came up in the body of practitioners. After Master lectured, I asked whether or not pop music was an appropriate means to clarify the truth. Since I don't remember the exact words of Master, and this isn't from any published lecture, I'll only say that I can remember one word, "yes", and of course Master smiled!
After I had completely recorded a song with lyrics, I sent it to the New York body of practitioners for comments. I got a lot of encouraging feedback and constructive criticism. I felt pretty good about the situation and that I was on the right path. Then the more critical understandings came in. One practitioner shared with me that we should be trying to be on the most traditional path possible. I felt a little ill at ease from this, since I didn't know if my music fit into that category. Then a practitioner shared with me his experience from attending Master's lecture on creating music. Two things that shot right to my heart were these two understandings: Rock and Jazz are "bian yi" without righteousness and modern degenerate music. And that we shouldn't use electronic sounds in so far as possible. The fact is, I knew these things already, but I hadn't really mulled them over in my mind. What had happened with me was that I was over indulging in modern music with the excuse of clarifying the truth. I had really gone overboard with "conforming to everyday society" and wasn't thinking from the right place. After hearing this and other sharing from practitioners, I lost my own righteous thoughts on the whole situation. It's like what Master had said," The beings that gods respect the least are those who can't find themselves and whose righteous thoughts are lacking whenever they do things " (Asia-Pacific). I didn't know up from down and I just couldn't balance the content of my music at all. Every time a practitioner shared their understanding, my own understanding would immediately shift. (Which also manifested in other areas of my cultivation). My heart was often moved on this subject and due to several reasons, my music making was basically put on hold for a few months.
I'd like to interject here with another aspect of my music life: my music education. After I had decided to play music again, I decided to audition to go to music school. The university that I currently attend has a very well known music program, there's a catch though: it's called the New School Jazz and Contemporary Music Program. I realized though, that this was what I was good at, an everyday person thing, and that I should just try to be the best I can be and not pursue it and take the natural course. My father was particularly thrilled about my decision because he was always so supportive of my musical aspirations. After understanding this impact I really saw how my attending this school would be good for Dafa. Dafa gave me my ability to play and now wherever I play music I can emphasize this point. Imagine if I played music everyday in school! I applied in early second semester of 2004. It was quite easy because I was already a part of the university. I was immediately told that I would not be able to receive a live audition and that I would have to send in a tape. I thought this was rather ridiculous because I lived right around the corner, and producing a tape would be difficult. But I didn't want to pursue it too much, so I simply asked my counselor at school if she could work it out. It didn't really take much effort and I was able to get on a waiting list and was told to expect my audition date to be late April. This would give me ample time to prepare since it had been so long since I had played music. I started to formally practice again which was really a strange experience, after all this time, here I am again playing the same things I used to play, with a completely different purpose! Instead of wanting to show off, I wanted to validate Dafa!
At the end of March I got a call in class from the Jazz school, they wanted me to audition that very day! I wasn't ready but knew I had to do it. It really felt like "wu wei, because I wasn't even thinking about it and they had reached out to me to come in. So I went in there with what I had, and played. I felt I didn't do great and my state wasn't very good. Nevertheless, I didn't dwell on it; I simply knew that the outcome was predestined. To my surprise only 5 or so days later, I received my acceptance letter! And a month after that, even though I hadn't applied for one, I received a merit based scholarship. Everyone around me was so happy for me and I told them it was all because of Dafa!! I just couldn't see how this could be something that I pursued wrongfully, and was very happy with the outcome.
This all being said, you can understand my dilemma after hearing practitioners' understanding on jazz music. I felt quite lost and didn't know how to perceive my situation. Basically after thinking it over and discussing it with other practitioners, I came to understand quite a few things:
I calmly looked at the instruments I was using and realized the electric and electronic instruments just didn't sound good. The electric piano sounded muddy compared to a real piano. And the synthesizer sounds basically sounded like alien music. (Of course I thought before it sounded "cosmic", when in fact it is their warped alien part of the cosmos.) Also, I realized that using these instruments would close off a large segment of an audience who didn't think these sounds were "hip," whereas anyone can accept acoustic sounds. I really saw my human notions just falling away. From then on I decided to take out all of those electronic and degenerate sounds from my music, and the results have been great.
Another aspect of my music is the lyrics. When I started out, I felt I had to be very direct about the persecution of Dafa. One song was about validating the Fa at Tiananmen, and other songs had very direct messages. After taking a break from writing for a while my understanding changed a lot. I understood that I should make my songs appeal to ordinary people as much as possible while still elevating their minds to a higher level. I'd like to point to this quote from the recent Asian-Pacific lecture, "Since it's not part of Dafa, then it must be part of ordinary society, and so it should align with ordinary society. Who you're saving are the lives in ordinary society, so all the more so you need to come closer to ordinary society and have your media outlets become something the general public loves to see and hear. Only that way can you achieve a better effect." I began to use much more metaphoric and broad lyrics, which to me were talking directly about Dafa, but for ordinary people could be talking about other things. Take the song I wrote entitled "Love Your Enemy": it's about the endless compassion of Dafa disciples towards their persecutors, but it doesn't mention Dafa or China directly. This way ordinary people can connect this idea to Dafa when they learn more about the music. If they like the music they will surely want to know about the musician making it, and the album art, web sites, and other aspects of the whole package can be more direct with clarifying the truth. This is just my personal understanding on this matter. What if we could become famous making music? In our culture, celebrities' personal lives and what they stand for are all made public. We could use our fame to wake up the world! Wouldn't that be great?
Of course, there is still one big issue I have yet to discuss. How have I reconciled the use of modern and inherently degenerate music forms [with Dafa's teachings]? I often think about a response to a question on teaching science from Master, "Of course, nowadays that's what everybody is learning, so if you don't teach it what else are you going to teach? So there's nothing you can do about it. That's what you have to do during this period of history, and it's not considered wrong, since the rectification of all things is what's to be done in the future." The music I make is modern music because, as I see it, I want to reach our modern people, our modern youth. So if I created classical music, would I be able to do that? So, is what I'm doing 100% upright? Well, what my heart says is that I am telling the truth about Dafa, and giving people a chance to obtain Dafa now or in the future. As for the exact content of the music, I always base my music on the "rules". The laws and theories of music composition that I have studied for so long have become a foundation on which I build. I always make my music melodic and beautiful, even though it might not be at the standard of Bach or traditional Chinese music. As my understanding improves so will my music. I must stick to my own righteous thoughts in my music, and even if my understanding isn't perfect, at least it is my own. I feel that this question has been answered directly in the recent Atlanta lecture:
"Question: When clarifying the truth to the Chinese people on a large scale, in order to communicate more easily with ordinary people, we make use of things that align with their interests that inevitably have deviated factors, since everything of humankind has deviated. But, everything that Dafa disciples do will be left for the future. How do we reconcile these two things?
"Teacher: When you are wisely clarifying the truth to save all beings, there's no such problem--what's left for the future people is the spirit of Dafa disciples rectifying the Fa and their path of returning to what is right. No matter what approach you take to clarify the truth, the goal is to have the world's people truly understand this persecution."
Now that I have experienced all of this I am starting to see the potential power of music in my clarifying the truth. And of course my creativity is so active, I feel I have endless ideas and such limited time! My state during the creation process has also improved. I always try to keep righteous thoughts and when I feel myself losing my center I take a break to SFRT. Whenever I play now it's because of Dafa and whenever some people ask me about my playing history, I can tell them about Dafa. Our arrangements are really perfect! For other Dafa musicians and all other Dafa practitioners (since we all have special skills), I'd like to encourage you to take the initiative to do your own projects, even if you have to take yourselves away from other peoples' important projects. The more we step out on our own, the more we can let our mighty virtue shine. And if you stumble, just learn from it and continue to solidify your understanding. And of course, always study the Fa. I'd like to end with this quote from Master from the Asia-Pacific lecture about all the efforts of our Fa-Rectification cultivation. Thanks everyone.
"Actually, you know, Dafa is about cultivation only--Dafa has nothing but cultivation. And even though today the path of cultivation Dafa disciples take is different--in order to clarify the truth, to save more of the world's people, to keep the persecution in check, and so on, some students have gotten together and started up media outlets or done this or that--none of that is part of Dafa itself. Those are cases of students walking their own paths validating the Fa, and those are things created by the students themselves. So that too forges your mighty-virtue, and it's remarkable."
