PureInsight | January 20, 2003
[PureInsight.org] When the persecution against Falun Gong began on July 20, 1999, Teacher clearly gave my mother many hints to step forward and validate Dafa. However, mother hesitated to come out and support Dafa, no matter how many times Teacher suggested to her to do so. The reason for her reluctance was that she was very attached to her daughter and son-in-law, and did not want to risk being separated from them. Later on, she said many things she should not say and did things she was not supposed to do as a Dafa practitioner. In the end, she stopped studying Dafa and doing Falun Gong exercises all together. She became ill and even started to take medicine. I was very upset with her. For a long time, I refused to talk to her, I even gave up trying to persuade her to cultivate again. One day, when I called her, mother said that she had started to practice Falun Gong again and that Teacher had purified her body with guanding (pouring energy through her head) again. I was moved to tears after I hung up the phone. I had thought that Teacher would no longer want a disciple like mother, but the truth is that Teacher never gave up on her. I felt so ashamed of myself. Who am I to decide that she is no longer worthy of cultivation!
It seems that all the steadfast Dafa practitioners that I know all have some personal flaws, big or small. But what made a bigger impression on me is their steadfast faith in Teacher and Dafa. When I compare myself to them, I am often ashamed of myself. They are fully aware of their attachments and have tried very hard to let go of these attachments. But for some reason they just could not do that and feel very pained by the fact that they could not let these attachments go. I also face the same problems, and therefore, can understand and share their pain.
After I looked at this problem that these practitioners and I share, I realized that it is the result of arrangements of the evil old forces. If you are attached to your own inadequacy, you become overwhelmed by the pain and lose your perspective. As soon as you let your guard down, the old forces will find opportunities for conflicts, which lead to rifts between you and fellow practitioners. Unless we can truly tolerate each other, the tribulations among practitioners will persist.
For a period of time, other fellow practitioners misunderstood me. I felt tremendous pressure as a result. I felt that I could not take the wrongful accusations anymore. One female practitioner said to me, "What is a little pressure to you? Did it ever occur to you how many people have maliciously persecuted and defamed Teacher since July 20, 1999? Yet Teacher continues to teach us to save these people? How many Dafa practitioners were brainwashed in the brainwashing camps and did terrible things to Teacher and Dafa! However, once they realized their mistakes, Teacher always took them in his arms as his disciples." She added, "Whenever I was persecuted, I could always overcome the trial when I thought about Teacher." What she said really woke me up. Yes! Next to what Teacher has tolerated for us, the tribulations I have experienced are trivial.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2002/12/12/19608.html
