PureInsight | October 21, 2002
Master said: "When you conduct yourselves righteously Master can do anything for you." ("Touring North America to Teach the Fa") I recently realized that Master not only helps us do Fa-rectification work when we conduct ourselves righteously but also nurtures us at all times and helps us constantly. I would like to share my experience since June and hope it will be able to help fellow practitioners who have fallen behind in Fa-rectification just like I did.
In June, after my visa application to Iceland was rejected, on the surface I continued to speak out to clarify the facts and support the practitioners in Iceland. Deep inside, I felt overwhelmed and very sad. I thought it was because I was not recognized as a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple that I could not get into Iceland.
Afterwards, I fell in a state of conducting cultivation in a half-hearted manner. Although I still did Dafa work, the more I did the work, the more difficult it seemed to be. As time went on, I gradually stopped sending forth righteous thoughts and also stop studying the Fa as frequently as I used to.
From time to time, I would remember something that a very diligent fellow practitioner once said: "Once I stopped cultivating Dafa for one and a half years. As time went on, I couldn't remember Master's name or even the name of the book of Zhuan Falun." Every time I remembered what he said, I would feel a little shaken up. But then I thought to myself, "I am such a bad practitioner that I am not even considered a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. Master is surely not taking care of me."
However, in this time period, strange things occurred: whenever it was time to send forth righteous thoughts at night, I would automatically wake up from sleep. When doing Fa-rectification work or other things, I would suddenly stop working to check the time, which was at either 11:55 AM US Eastern Time or 5:55 PM US Eastern Time without any other reason. This can't be explained by my biological clock because my daily schedule was irregular and I could not wake up at the fixed time. Also, the time for doing the Fa-rectification work was not fixed so it was impossible for my body to remember the time to take a break. For a couple of months, I have been facing such "specific phenomena of the 'Buddha Fa'' and "concrete manifestations". But I still slacked off. After noting the time, I would still go back to sleep or do things, and I still did not send forth righteous thoughts.
However, for the next several months, Master has kept on waking me up to send forth righteous thoughts. I was very touched. Nobody could be so patient. For several months, Master patiently continued to urge me, take care of me, and want what is best for me. He has never given up on me.
Therefore, I started to send forth righteous thoughts from time to time. During the first few times, I cried, without any reason, to the point where the tears would soak my clothes. I had heard several practitioners in the past who had similar experiences say, "I could sense Master's compassion". However, since I hadn't practiced the exercises or sent forth righteous thoughts for several months, I couldn't concentrate. I feel that the reason why I was crying does not deserve the above explanation. But still I felt as if many things were spoken to me, "You are finally sending forth righteous thoughts! We have been waiting for you for a long time!" During that time, I often sensed some bad things hovering over me in the dark when I woke up at night. Now this feeling went away.
I studied the Fa less and less during this more than one hundred days. However, a Fa-rectification project that I participated in happens to require me read many fellow practitioners' articles. It was "strange" that the articles that were assigned to me all pointed out my attachments or my blind spot in cultivation or the urgency of the coming "Fa-rectification of the human world." If there were just a few articles, I might think it was coincidental. For three whole months, every article assigned to me was like that. Obviously, Master was still watching over me. Moreover, when I read Master's words cited by the fellow practitioner, I could not help taking that book out to study the Fa and wondering why I didn't notice this paragraph before. It was funny when I took out that book to study the Fa, I began to feel warm and comforted.
As time went on, I sort of forgot that Master had arranged this. I just thought the articles assigned to me by definition were supposed to help me. So I didn't value Master's arrangement at all. Now after going through all the articles that I had worked on during the last three months, I finally saw Master's arrangement clearly.
The third thing was that because I was practicing cultivation in a half-hearted manner for several months and I was unable to concentrate on doing the Fa-rectification work and got half the result with twice the effort, I was about to give up on a project. A fellow practitioner who I never saw or contacted before suddenly phoned me and talked to me patiently about what Master had said. He shared with me his viewpoint of the Fa. Although he didn't say or hint to me to look at my inner self, I sensed my shortcomings. I began to look at my inner self. This fellow practitioner helped me to really learn how to point out a practitioner's shortcomings compassionately.
If this fellow practitioner hadn't given me a call, I would have continued to feel as if I were deviating from the Fa, and that I was no longer qualified to be a Fa-rectification disciple. Furthermore, I thought that Master would not take care of me because of my bad state in cultivation. However, Master Li cares about me as constantly and stably as the existence of the Sun and the Moon.
Although, I practiced on and off at home, Master didn't leave me alone. He arranged for the fellow practitioner to give me hints on the standpoint of the Fa. Master unconditionally cares for me. I heard that some disciples were "transformed" in Mainland China and I hope that they can read the article. Although you have gone astray in your cultivation, Master will never give up on you and he will take care of you the same as before. You will see that as long as you pay close attention. Master has been taking care of you day after day and year after year.
Master said: "As a person, I have a habit: if I have a yard and I say only an inch of it, …" [Zhuan Falun, Lecture Eight: "Whoever practices cultivation will attain gong"]. In fact, I think Master is doing everything for us at any time but he just doesn't say it. What Master has done for us is far from what we can imagine.
I would like to tell everyone hat Master is doing everything for us at all times. Don't be discouraged when you face tribulations or conflicts in Fa-rectification.
I am sending forth righteous thoughts every day at the fixed times. I tell myself to do as much as I can to end the persecution as soon as possible. I firmly believe that the persecution will end at once if my thoughts are righteous enough.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2002/8/30/18366.html
