PureInsight | August 11, 2007
[PureInsight.org] The Gods
won't tolerate complacency. I have found smugness to be the
surest way to reshuffle one's life. I've been given this lesson a
number of times throughout my life and one of the most profoundly life
altering experiences I had, came when my bravado led me to death and
the other side. I believe the gods checked my arrogance and
misdirection by letting me fall and take it on the chin, in order for
me to become enlightened and to redirect my path toward what really
matters.
I was 19 years old when the gods gave me a chance for a better life. I
remember that night vividly. I had it all, or so I thought: a pretty
girlfriend, a stylish car in the form of a 65 Beaumont with a 4 barrel
hemi, a huge and amazingly trained Irish wolfhound, and lots of friends
who thought highly of me. I remember thinking, "This is what life is
all about, fun and fanfare." I was really full of myself. After all, at
such a young age I had it made. Oh, I was so cocky that warm summer
night, as I had achievements and fame and I knew it all. This
complacency lined me up for a reckoning with fate.
On this balmy night I led my ten friends on an adventure. First we went
swimming at the golf course illegally. Then I led them to another
less secluded pool where I could show off to people who didn't know me
yet. When we arrived we found other pool hoppers sitting on the benches
outside of the fenced pool area. They said they thought the guard
was on duty so they were afraid to go in.
I wasn't afraid, I said, "If you guys aren't willing to go in, me and
my dog Strider will go in and show you there is nothing to fear."
Everyone was impressed at how Strider effortlessly jumped the 10 foot
wall, and they were saying flattering things like, "What a cool
dog! Look he's not scared of getting caught." Getting a rush off
of all the attention, I thought to myself, "I'll show them cool and
that I'm not afraid of a guard coming out, I will do a big cannonball."
I climbed the lifeguard chair as my dog was barking, eagerly awaiting
the big splash to jump in and chase. I thought, "I know what will
really impress them. I'll do my famous Swan dive." I dove spreading my
arms wide with my long golden brown hair flailing out like the image of
Icarus and the Swan song logo that was tattooed on my arm.
Oh no! This pool is the other way around and I'm in the shallow
end. I tried to tuck my head in and roll, but it was too
late. I hit the bottom of the pool with my head and heard a loud
crack.
Suddenly I was surrounded with white light. I felt exhilarated
free and complete. It was the most wonderful feeling I have ever
experienced, so light and no suffering. As I was reveling at how
wonderful I felt I heard a beautiful voice ask me, "Do you want to live
or die"?
Just as I was about to say, "If this wonderfulness is death, I choose... "
Then my life flashed before my eyes, from childhood to the present day,
and I experienced everything from the perspective of others. It
was as if I was them and their feelings were mine at the time of our
interactions. I could actually feel how what I said or did felt to
them, only even more acutely, as my senses were not restricted by
physical form. I could actually feel what it meant to them when I said
a caring word, or acted in a kind way. It was so heartfelt and
meaningful when I was compassionate. Everything else I did in my
life for myself paled in comparison to when I simply listened caringly
or said a kind meaningful word.
Upon this realization, the vision went forward from that day into the
future and again it was in the perspective of others. The littlest
things meant so much, listening to someone compassionately, saying a
kind word or just being there for them. As time went on and I got
further into the future, the importance of my contributions increased.
The amount of people I truly touched became thousands, maybe even tens
of thousands, and the importance of the things I would say and do
increased immensely. I could now see the rippling effect my words had
on the people I interacted with and their friends and family. I
can't describe the intense sense of importance my contributions were to
make, or the heartfelt gratitude I felt from all those many people,
other than to say it was acute and overwhelming. I yelled out, "I want
to live! I must live!"
Instantly the vision and the warm tranquil light that surrounded me was
all gone. I was back at the bottom of the pool again feeling angst,
suffering and the weight of the world. I realized I was
completely paralyzed on one side, but from deep inside I knew I would
be okay, as I had to live no matter what. I swam with one arm to
the surface and called my dog to me. I grabbed onto her collar and she
pulled me to the side of the pool. I was so calm that when I
called to the people on the other side of the fence for help they
didn't respond. So I pulled myself up the lifeguard chair until I
was standing on my one good leg. Again I reassured myself that I
was fine until I felt a tingling through my left side then the
feeling started coming back to my left side and I was again able to
move my arm and leg. I made my way to the fence and along the
fence to the wall. I managed to get over somehow and I told my friends
I had to go to the hospital as I had broken my neck. They were shocked,
but I reassured them I would be fine.
On the way to the hospital, ideas on how to heal myself flooded my
mind. I was seeing green and blue intricate patterns flowing around me.
I knew I was able to heal myself. I told my girlfriend not to tell my
family, as I did want to worry them needlessly. I said I would let them
know when the doctors knew exactly where I stood. A day and a
half later, contrary to what the doctors first said, that I would be in
the hospital for two weeks at least, I was released from the hospital.
Then I called my mother and told her what had happened and that I
was fine.
After getting out of the hospital, I mistakenly thought the worst was
over. However, the process of wearing the brace and Halo was full of
many challenges that further shattered the self-satisfaction I took
from vanity. This was exposed to me when looking at myself in the
mirror caused me such anxiety that I ended up breaking all the mirrors
in my bedroom. I had to let go of vanity and pride in order to
deal with the people who looked at me as a freak or Frankenstein's
monster. I also learned how disabled people feel when people are
staring at them behind their back. They may not see the people staring
at them or giving them weird looks, but they know because they can
sense it. I had to let all judgments go in order to face others
genuinely.
I also had to break through the notions and attachments that had
been the things that I thought mattered, such as living for my own
gratification and the perpetuation of my ego induced, self-serving
nature. I projected this false image to others in order to show off how
great I was. Those notions had to be let go of. Thanks to the vision I
had, I now understood that they were just hindrances in the way of my
relating to people deeply and in a meaningful way.
I chose to live as if nothing happened. I went out in public. I walked
my dog and eventually jogged with the Halo on. I went to parties at my
friends' houses and a family reunion where I went on hayrides. I did
everything that I would normally do and in the process I shed many
negative attachments and phobias while wearing that Halo. I learned a
lot wearing that Frankenstein-ish. Halo and brace that they screwed
against my skull in order to hold my neck immobilized. Amazingly I only
had to wear the Halo contraption for seven weeks, even though I had
completely crushed two vertebrae. They had originally told me I would
be wearing it for four to six months.
I believe it was my deep faith that allowed the rapid healing. I always
knew I would be fine. After all, I had witnessed the important work
that lay ahead of me and discovered that having a kind heart is what
truly matters in life. So it was no surprise to me that I made a rapid
and complete recovery. Everyone else, including the doctors, however,
were dumbfounded and could explain my rapid recovery in no other way
other than calling it a miracle. Which, of course, it was and the
more so because I also had been given the gift of finding out what
truly matters and what is worthwhile in life. I never forgot my vision
and I continued to lend a kind ear and a caring word to those around me.
It was not until 20 years later that I recently discovered how in that
vision I was able to reach so many thousands of people, so deeply and
profoundly affecting them that it would ripple out to their family and
friends as well. I started practicing a spiritual discipline
called Falun Gong and after practicing for a couple years and improving
my character and self-discipline, I became an art tour guide showing
fine artworks from persecuted practitioners of Falun gong. I was able
to show great numbers of people the triumph of the human spirit and
uncompromised courage of practitioners like myself who follow the creed
of Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance. I was able to reveal
the horrible torture and killing of these good people by the Communist
regime while instilling in the viewers the value of virtue and hope. I
traveled to many countries and spoke to many people. I also
became a spokesman when it was revealed that my fellow practitioners
were held in concentration camps and used for organ harvesting. I
was moved to action and I talked to many politicians and media, and in
turn reached tens of thousands of people. This was what I had
seen in my vision profoundly reaching out to many people in order to
save lives. This is why I chose to live.
Imagine thinking you know it all in this vast cosmos. How
arrogant. It is no wonder the gods correct us when we become
complacent. What I thought I knew about life that it is all about
having a good time and prominence was the opposite of the truth that I
currently understand. Life, in my understanding is about
improving one's character becoming selfless and altruistic so one can
be better able to serve the greater good with compassion and affect
others in a way that truly matters.
