PureInsight | July 9, 2006
[PureInsight.org] I am
relatively young. Elder practitioners often praise me because they say
that it's very difficult for young people to obtain the Fa. I
often help them solve their computer technical problems. Even
more compliments came. My attachment to fame has unknowingly
grown bigger and bigger. Only when I encountered so many problems
at my ordinary workplace did I start to take a serious look at my
cultivation.
Recently I transferred to another project team at work. I was
often corrected or taught by my boss. I felt quite impatient and
asked myself, "Why am I having so many troubles? Was this due to
problems with my cultivation?" My new position required attention to
details and had more workload. A small oversight would affect
many other areas. My boss is a perfectionist. His
personality is the opposite of mine. I was often reprimanded by
my boss. Sometimes I felt that my job performance was worse than
ordinary people's. Therefore I gradually grew to dislike my
job. My attitude was very different from the attitude I have when
doing Dafa projects. After looking inward, I found out that I was
attached to fame. I would do anything for fellow practitioners
amidst their compliments. However, when I was often criticized at
work, I adopted a different attitude.
Master said in "Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006": "Of course, as you go
about cultivating, you--who are cultivators--are sure to meet with
tests, for you need to elevate. When someone doesn't handle things
well, troubles will constantly arise. But those who do handle things
well will constantly meet with tests as they cultivate. If you
categorically regard all of them as interference and try to resolve the
troubles just for the sake of resolving them, then you won't be able to
resolve them, because they come about for the sake of your improvement."
I realized that my remaining attachments were reflected in my
work. My previous job was quite flexible. I had a lot of
time to do my own things. Later, after my transfer to the new
team, I made small or big mistakes quite often in the past several
months. I had communication problems with my colleagues.
Eventually, because of high pressure from my loss, I was having
problems falling asleep at night. I felt bitter as well.
This had never happened to me before. Although I wanted to do the
Three Things well after work, I did them with an anxious mindset.
Eventually my family members complained about me. I felt that I
had reached my limit. Bad thoughts mushroomed in my mind. I
tried my best to suppress them. When reading Zhuan Falun I felt ashamed to face Master because I hadn't dug out my attachments.
After I calmed down, I found that I wasn't interested in knowing many
things in the ordinary society. Even when I had conflicts with
colleagues, I was content that superficially I wasn't affected.
Or I felt that I was in a good and peaceful state. However, I
didn't really dig out my attachments when encountering conflicts.
My new job required more interactions with more colleagues. After
I repeatedly made mistakes, my first thought was how my colleagues
would think of me. I was afraid that my reputation would be
harmed. When my boss told me some work methods, my first thought
was about myself. I simply wanted everything to remain in order
in my way. Occasionally my boss would encourage me or reprimand
me directly when I made mistakes. Every time I was
affected. Master said in Zhuan Falun,
"He thinks that he has cured an illness. When others call him a qigong
master, he will become delighted and very pleased. Isn't that an
attachment? When he cannot cure an illness, he drops his head and feels
fizzled out. Isn't it caused by his attachment to fame and personal
gain?" When I read this, I understood all of a sudden that I had
so much pain because I had been stuck in my attachment of fame!
I have obtained the Fa for four years. I have done many Dafa
projects. However, every time I wanted to write a sharing, my
mind went blank. Later I found that I hadn't truly dug out the
roots of my attachments. No wonder I didn't have anything to
write about. Master said in "Lecture": "Some people have been
cultivating in Dafa for a long time, but it's no good if their hearts
are not in the Fa. If they don't do actual cultivation, and don't
change the fundamental things—if they don't change the fundamental
things of humans—they will attain nothing, and all kinds of problems
might occur. One's accomplishment in cultivation is measured by the
improvement of one's xinxing, not by the length of time."
I would like to end my sharing with Master's Fa in "Teaching the Fa in
Canada, 2006": "When you are able to think correctly on the matter,
keep the difficulty in the right perspective, and make it through the
right way, you will have overcome that test, your level will have been
raised, your realm will have elevated, and your gong will have risen,
right? Isn't this how the entire process of Fa-rectification
cultivation works?"
Translated from:
http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2006/6/29/38327.html
