PureInsight | June 18, 2006
[PureInsight.org] When the Fahui was being organized here in Toronto I was excited because I always benefit from a Fahui.
As the time got closer I saw that so much preparation goes into hosting
a Fahui for the benefit of others. So much time and money and energy
goes in behind the scenes to get everything perfect for the sacred
Fahui.
The biggest tribulations with Fahui's is that the hosting city is
always under extreme pressure because there is never enough experience
sharing papers which are good in quality. Every Fahui the organizers
must send out at least two urgent calls for papers because very few
people send papers in.
This time I was shocked to see that we only had 5 papers submitted as of a week ago.
This Fahui is the most sacred formality in the universe that Master has
given us to help each other in cultivation. However, when it came to
supporting the Fahui I also did not offer my support. I only wanted to
benefit from the Fahui and I expected everyone else to contribute. At
this moment I felt that I was one of those who want to take from Dafa
but don't want to give to Dafa.
It was then that I realized that it was also my responsibility as a
Dafa Disciple to support the Fahui as much as I could. I saw the
opportunity to step forward and support my fellow practitioners and
support this sacred Fahui.
Writing a paper is a huge cultivation opportunity and it is a place
where the evil old forces will interfere to stop practitioners from
stepping forward and to poison practitioner's minds with negative human
thoughts.
I am one of those practitioners who have been poisoned by the evil to
think that I have nothing to share or I have nothing to write about or
that I am not good enough to write. When I think of writing I get lazy
or I go and do something else or I sit in front of the computer and my
mind goes blank.
I viewed these negative thoughts as truth and they then became my
reality. I lost the righteous understanding that I was supposed to
eliminate human mentality and place the needs of Dafa above all.
My mind became more attached to the tiny tribulation itself. I focused
more on the unrighteous thoughts of "I have nothing to share and I have
nothing to write about and I am not good enough to write," rather than
being focused on being a righteous Dafa disciple during the Fa
rectification who wants to follow Master.
This situation was like other situations I had experienced where when
practitioners ask me to do something my first thought is fear. "Why me?
Maybe you can find someone else."
A soldier in a human war is trained that when the general tells him to
go into the battle and fight he runs into the battle to fight without a
second thought. He does not sit there and ask, "Why me? Go find someone
else. I can't do it. I am not good enough."
We are in the most important battle ever in human history and Master
has chosen us to be his disciples so when a situation presents itself
where we have to step forward to help out how dare I say no!
Master tells us that fear is a critical loophole in our cultivation and
master continues to present situations to me to break through my fear
and improve myself.
It is true that I have many things in my everyday life that test
me. However, this situation had also presented itself to me. I already
felt the fear of writing a paper and I already felt the evil try to
tell me that I was no good and that I could not finish my paper. This
was the sign that I must eliminate the evil and succeed.
I then found a feeling in my heart that I am a Dafa Disciple and I want
to do the best I can and the most I can for Dafa and to help support
the body of practitioners. I want to eliminate all thoughts of myself
and I just want to put Dafa first in every situation.
This time all these excuses were seen by me as nothing but unrighteous
human thoughts that the evil was trying to solidify in my head to make
me feel useless and lazy and to stop me from stepping forward but I
kept my sights firm on completing what I was supposed to do.
Every situation I am presented with is a situation where I will be
tested to see if I step closer to godhood or closer to human mentality.
It is so easy to just do nothing and let opportunities to break through
and step forward go by. It is easy to take from Dafa, but when Dafa
give me an opportunity to give back to Dafa I must take every
opportunity and stop the evil from poisoning my mind with unrighteous
and selfish thoughts by cultivating a solid righteous understanding.
Now that it is over I can say that I passed the test and I broke
through. I have written my paper to contribute to the most sacred
conference in the universe. It does not matter if my paper gets chosen
to be read or not. It is the heart behind my actions that is most
important and that I continue to strive forward through every test that
comes my way.
(Selected paper from 2006 Canada Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference in Toronto, May 28, 2006)
