PureInsight | October 5, 2006
[PureInsight.org] I was
involved in a serious car accident and was treated in the intensive
care unit of a hospital. I lost feeling in my left arm and left leg.
The doctors told me that I had blood in my skull and had also suffered
a stroke and high blood pressure. He said I had to have an
operation to remove the chunks of blood in my brain. After
several days, when I regained my conscience, I heard fellow
practitioners reading the Fa for me. I really appreciate
everyone's help in my journey.
The Mysterious Car Accident
After I read "Pass the Deadly Test" several times, I realized that
since I cultivate Truth-Compassion-Forbearance, I should be responsible
for myself and the Fa. I should no longer conceal my
mistakes. I made up my mind to tell my fellow practitioner wife
about what had happened on the same day of the car accident, hoping
that she would forgive me.
In the afternoon of the following day, I told her what had happened on the day of the car accident:
I drove my Dad to his home. After we arrived at his home, I
smelled something very stinky. I found that the fridge was
broken. There was fish in the fridge and it had gone rotten and
stank. I told my father that I would go and buy some detergent to
clean the fridge. After I left home, I took a detour instead and
went to a massage parlor. I lost my head and ended up sleeping with a
lady there.
Afterwards, I returned to Dad's home and cleaned the fridge.
Although I was a little bit tired, I insisted that I would go
home. Shortly after I left Dad's home, I hit a car parked on the
side of the street. Then an ambulance came. I was sent to
the hospital.
Several days after I told my wife and daughter about what had really
happened, my feet stopped hurting. Once the "secret" was exposed, my
attachment to fear disintegrated. I regretted what I had done
very deeply. I thought about the demon of lust that Master
mentioned in the past. Everyone has to pass the test from the
demon of lust. Master said in Zhuan Falun,
"Throughout history, or from the perspective of higher dimensions, the
issues of one's desire and lust have been very critical in determining
whether one can practice cultivation. So we must really regard these
things with indifference."
Why I Made Such a Major Mistake
I thought about the reason of the car accident. Master said in
"Teaching the Fa at the Assistants' Fa Conference," "Some people
have been cultivating in Dafa for a long time, but it's no good if
their hearts are not in the Fa. If they don't do actual cultivation,
and don't change the fundamental things - if they don't change the
fundamental things of humans - they will attain nothing, and all kinds
of problems might occur."
After I obtained the Fa, I didn't recognize the importance of the
Fa. I didn't pay much attention. Due to lack of
understanding on the Fa, I didn't know how to look inward and the
seriousness of the Fa. Master said in Zhuan Falun,
"The issue of cultivation practice is not child's play, and neither is
it a technique of everyday people—it is a very serious matter. Whether
you want to practice cultivation or are able to practice cultivation
depends completely upon how your xinxing is upgraded."
Even after I obtained the Fa, I had continued to read adult magazines
and watch pornographic movies like I did in the past. Bad
thoughts filled my mind. I didn't realize that those notions and
habits were attachments. After a while, my Fa-study and exercises
were interfered with. I dosed off frequently when sending
righteous thoughts. I didn't treat myself as a cultivator when I
saw bad scenes flashing in my mind. I didn't try to deny, repel
or eliminate them. I allowed them to flood in my head and cause
damage.
I didn't ask myself to behave as a cultivator. In Zhuan Falun,
Master Li said, "In fact, let me tell everyone that matter and mind are
one thing." "If your will is not firm, the hurdles are like
mountains. How will you transcend this mortal life?" (Hong Yin Volume II)
I forgot that the evil would take advantage of every loophole.
The evil is watching all the time and will intensify any attachments we
have. Once we have unrighteous thoughts, they will lead us to
irrationality and mistakes.
Standing up and Walking Out of the Hospital
During the several days that I stayed in the hospital, my diastolic
blood pressure stayed at the level of between 180 and 200.
Medications and injections couldn't reduce it. "Why am I
here?" I realized that I was a cultivator. I shouldn't stay
at the hospital. After talking with my wife and my daughter, we
decided that I should go home. Once we had righteous thoughts,
the doctor came shortly and told us that we could leave the hospital on
the same day. After completing the paperwork, we left the
hospital. I quickly recovered after arriving at home. I
firmly believed in righteous thoughts." I knew the relationship between
medications and cultivation.
After I returned home, many friends came to visit me. It was
quite hot. Some people said to me, "The weather is too hot for a person
who has just had brain operations." I was besieged by all kinds
of comments. I knew it was a test. The weather was
still quite hot (37 - 38o C, 98.6 - 100.4oF). I decided to spend a few
days in the mountains. I wanted to recharge myself for my future
cultivation path.
Upon returning from the mountains, I came to recognize my
shortcomings. I calmed down to solidly cultivate Dafa and do the
three things well. I required myself to be diligent and
emphasized on xinxing improvement. As soon as I had bad thoughts, I would deny and repel them.
I realized that cultivation includes suffering. How could
cultivation be so comfortable? Cultivators should not mind the
weather. I shared my thoughts with my wife and decided to move
back home permanently and face my test. The next morning I
participated in the local group exercises and study. I returned
to Dafa and denied old forces' arrangement. I came back to my
cultivation path.
Overcoming Tribulations with Righteous Thoughts
When I first started learning how to walk again after the accident, I
tried to remove my fear. I took the first step. However, I
stopped after three steps the first time. My wife told me that I
should climb the stairs with righteous thoughts and righteous
actions. This reminded me of Master's poem "What's to Fear?" in Hong Yin Volume II:
"Should you have fear, it will seize upon you. If thoughts are
righteous, evil will collapse." I let go of my fear and was
really able to climb the stairs.
For a whole week, I couldn't walk when I got up from the bed.
Master told us that "When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it.
When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try
and see if it is possible." Once I took the first step, my feet
stopped hurting..
The weather became very hot. I realized that cultivators are different
from ordinary people. Cultivators don't fear hot or cold
weather. I came to realize the principle of believing fist and
seeing next. Now I can walk to the exercise site with the aid of
a walking crane. Master said, "A practitioner believes he should
only focus on practicing, without paying attention to obtaining
gong." We should gain naturally without pursuit.
On the World Falun Dafa Day, my region had a whole-day group
Fa-study. When we read "Pass the Deadly Test" together, I
suddenly felt a warm energy current flowing through my back. I
know what to do now. I would become a Dafa Disciple who followed the
Fa. Thank you Master!
Ending Note
My detour has caused a huge mistake. The only thing I could do is
to study the Fa diligently and do the three things well. I will
be strict with myself. We should all be careful when cultivating
in this modern world full of temptations. Cultivation is
serious. Dafa is very serious. We should study the Fa more
and share more with our group.
Demon of lust is a tribulation every cultivator has to pass. More
Fa-study can firm up our righteous thoughts. Things will change
when we treat ourselves as Dafa Disciples under all
circumstances. On our journey of cultivation, Master has given us
opportunities again and again. Those who have made a detour as I
did before, let's strive ahead together and complete the rest of
cultivation path well.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2006/8/31/39776.html
