PureInsight | April 18, 2010
[PureInsight.org] I began cultivation in Falun Dafa in August 1997. Several months later, my body had symptoms of eliminating karma and my menstrual flow came down endlessly. After I started Dafa cultivation, all of my illness symptoms disappeared. My mental outlook shone brightly, instead of resembling darkened clouds. I followed the requirements of Dafa to conduct myself. When I encountered something I couldn't do or understand, I would learn from other practitioners at group discussion and everything would become clear.
After July 20, 1999, when the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started persecuting Falun Dafa (Falun Gong), our exercise environments were ruined, and many Dafa practitioners were abducted by police and sent to forced labor camps. Under such severe stress, I was perplexed and wavering. Under the evil's intimidation, I wrote a pledge (“guarantee statement”) to not practice Dafa anymore. But deep in my mind, I knew that Dafa is a righteous Fa and I wasn't going to give it up. I could only do the exercises and study the Fa at home in secret and thought I would have good health and didn't do the three things Teacher requires us to do. I was very worried about my personal safety and afraid of being put into prison and that I would not be able to endure the suffering if incarcerated. It was actually a fundamental attachment, though I did not realize it at the time. At the end of 2003, I was diagnosed with an incurable disease. I was frightened and underwent several operations. Because I took medications all year, my health became very poor and I couldn't do normal work. Later, even though I did the exercises and studied the Fa, I still didn’t abandon the attachment to illness, hoping that I'd have a healthy body again. Deep in my mind, I didn't give up the attachment of being sick, not to mention truly letting go of life and death and conducting myself like a Dafa practitioner should. I felt that I was not meeting the requirements of a genuine Dafa practitioner in the Fa-Rectification Period. I was often concerned about my health. I studied the Fa, but still took medicine. When my health got worse, I'd go to a hospital. Because of the attachment of pursuit, I felt no improvement from doing the exercises.
Then recently one morning when I was half awake, I saw with my celestial eye a scene outside my window in another dimension: The Gate of Heaven was wide open. The sky was glittering strangely; it unceasingly radiated beautiful colors accompanied by a pleasing sound. Buddha Maitreya appeared in the sky and declared cultivation of Dafa had ended. I suddenly felt flustered and deeply regretted that I hadn't cultivated steadfastly. I knelt and pleaded to Teacher: “Wait for me. I want to cultivate! I want to cultivate!” I was in extreme grief and regret. In a little while, I saw birds and gods in another dimension. I realized at that moment that people will be saved if they proclaim: “Falun Dafa is good!” I thus awakened my daughter and urged her to shout, “Falun Dafa is good!”, hoping that she would be saved. But my daughter just looked at me dumbly and couldn't understand why her mother was so anxious. I felt very remorseful and asked myself why I didn't guide my daughter to study the Fa? And why didn't I clarify the truth to her? And because of that, she may miss her chance of being saved!
Later, I realized that this vision came from our benevolent Teacher who, not wanting to see this disciple fall, thus enlightened me to study the Fa and do the exercises diligently, clarify the truth to save sentient beings, and do well the three things that Dafa disciples are supposed to do. From now on, I will abandon my fundamental attachments; I will grasp the time to save sentient beings, pay more attention to sending forth righteous thoughts, and strive to fulfill my vows.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2010/2/23/64498.html
