My Cultivation Journey

[PureInsight.org] Before I became a Falun Dafa cultivator, I often had ailments and always looked tired. After my twins were born I had dermatitis hands and suffered from oedema for many years. Shoes and clothes didn’t fit me properly from day to day. My parents took me to see a Chinese doctor and I was on herbal medication but that didn’t cure my problem. However, since I became a Falun Dafa cultivator in 2005 and started learning the five sets of exercises, my ailments slowly disappeared.

Karmic Tests and Righteous Thoughts

I went through a long tribulation in May 2013; sickness karma overshadowed and interfered with my saving sentient beings for almost 3 years. I’ve enlightened that these were karmic tests, and the fact that I lacked righteous thoughts and did not remain steadfast in my cultivation opened up loopholes for the evil to exploit.

I was getting ready for work when suddenly I had this incredible giddy spell. Everything looked remote and I feared the worst. I was experiencing horrendous internal bleeding. I could not leave the house so I telephoned my manager to inform him that I was ‘ill’. By admitting that I was ‘ill’ was I not prone to demonic interference?

Master says in Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun, “As a practitioner, if you always think that it is an illness, you are actually asking for it. If you ask for an illness, it will come inside your body. As a practitioner, your xinxing level should be high. You should not always worry that it is an illness, for this fear of illness is an attachment and it can bring you trouble just the same”.

As days passed I was so weak that I couldn’t get out of bed, study the Fa or do the exercises. Excruciating pains started piercing every part of my body. I was being persecuted by the evil to the extent that I felt I could not last another day. I couldn’t eat and I cried until exhausted before falling asleep each night. I could not tell my daughters of the ordeal I was going through, knowing they would come home immediately and have me sent to the hospital straight away. My husband and a few practitioners sent forth righteous thoughts for me and encouraged me to deny the old force interference, believe in Master and the Fa.

I had to get rid of the notion that I was sick. I managed to break through the predicament, deny the evil interference and attend the May 13th event in London. My husband accompanied me and only gave me help when I needed it. I looked ghostly and was shivering. Not a tiny bit of red showed on my face or nails. Every step of the journey was strenuous. When I reached the event location, two practitioners said that I looked grey. I tried to do the exercises but didn’t have the strength. As I was standing close to the exercise demonstration, a practitioner commented that it might give ordinary people a bad impression as I looked ill. I lost confidence immediately and wanted to hide. After sharing with my husband, he asked me to help out in teaching kids to make lotus flowers. I felt the sunshine in my face and the atmosphere was filled with strong energy.

There were 5 days to go before I left for New York to attend the Fahui. I reminded myself of Master’s teaching on doing the 3 things well. I tried to complete the set of exercises each day even though it was hard to endure. I was sweating at the end of each exercise; it felt like water was pouring from my forehead and dripping from my fingertips. I was out of breath at each movement but still determined not let the evil persecute me.

On the day of traveling to New York, I had the strangest feeling at the airport. Everything still appeared remote and the pain got so bad I was tearful. My husband sent forth righteous thoughts with me. Just before boarding the plane, I saw some practitioners’ travel on the same plane. A gust of wind flew over my head. I suddenly became clear headed. Although I still had the internal pains the bleeding stopped and I was able to eat without difficulty. Master had purified my body.

Master says in Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles, “When you have strong righteous thoughts, nothing can impede you. From the day that a Dafa disciple takes up cultivation his whole life is rearranged. In other words, this life of yours is now the life of a cultivator. Nothing is by chance anymore, and nothing will happen just by chance. Everything on your life’s journey is directly related to your improvement and cultivation”.

Taking Part in Shen Yun Promotion

I noticed that the excruciating internal pains and vomiting I had always surfaced during the Shen Yun promotion period. This was evil interference stopping me in saving sentient beings. However, I denied the evil interference and stayed active during the promotion period either in distributing flyers or doing promotion in shopping centres.

When distributing flyers door to door I seemed to have a lot of stamina. Sometimes I smiled to myself that doing the walking was good practice for being a marching band member. I sent forth righteous thoughts hoping the owner of the house would be outside in their front garden so that I could speak with them face-to-face.

There was an occasion where I met a lady who was in her front garden potting plants. I did not talk straight away about Shen Yun; instead the conversation was about the plants or her garden. She was chatting away so enthusiastically then stopped and asked what brought me there. I introduced Shen Yun to her. She was so happy that she invited me into her house so that she could see the trailer again and also to talk about her granddaughter who loved dancing and music.

On another occasion, the owner of the house was in his garage engrossed in measuring a piece of wood. I didn’t disturb him but indicated that I would like to put the brochure through his front door. On the way out I wondered what I could do to attract his attention so I could introduce Shen Yun to him. I thought how westerners like to talk about the weather, so that could be the topic. Straight away he came out from his garage and talked about the weather that day and the coming week’s forecasts. Later he asked me what brought me there, so I was able to introduce Shen Yun to him.

Master says in Zhuan Falun, Lecture Nine, “People with Great Inborn Quality”, “Meanwhile, a cultivator should also be able to make sacrifices, abandoning different attachments and desires of everyday people. It is impossible to be able to do it right away, so we can do it gradually. If you could make it today, you would now be a Buddha. Cultivation takes time, but you should not slack off. You may say, “Teacher has said that cultivation takes time – let’s do it slowly”. That will not do! You must be strict with yourself. In cultivation of the Buddha Fa, you should strive forward vigorously.”

Master has been to the UK to speak to practitioners. Shen Yun is Master’s project. Therefore I must strive forward diligently and do what is required of me as a Dafa disciple.

Looking Within

Can I honestly call myself a true cultivator when I didn’t fulfill the requirement to do the 3 things well? What are my attachments that I cannot let go of? Looking inside I found I had the attachment to fame and reputation in my ordinary work. I decided to apply for early retirement so I could have more time for Dafa work. However that was rejected. Feeling unhappy over the rejection was also an attachment. On arrival in New York for the Fahui I received a call from my manager that HR had made a mistake and approved my application for early retirement whilst he was away on holiday. I was quite happy about this mistake even though departing from the company was postponed for 5 months.

Early this year I had 3 accidents within 3 months. Looking within, I had the attachment of laziness and comfort, not able to get up in the early morning to send forth righteous thoughts, and when I did manage to I fell asleep during righteous thoughts. This is a serious issue as the old forces take advantage and manipulate me and the people around me.

The 1st accident was that I slipped as I finished having a bath. Somehow I was sure that my head was heading towards the bath taps, which could have been disastrous. However my head seemed to have been diverted and banged hard against the tiled wall instead. I fell back into the bath due to the force of the knock. I was neither shaken nor hurt by the accident. I only had the feeling of being ‘woken up’ as a result. I enlightened that this was a wake-up call for me to be steadfast in my cultivation and to do the 3 things well.

A month later, the 2nd accident happened. As I was carrying food out to the dining room for dinner, I unknowingly spilled some gravy on the laminated floor. As I came out to the dining room again, I slipped on the gravy patch. My whole body crashed to the floor heavily, along with the bowls of rice and chopsticks. Rice was all over the place. Bowls and chopsticks were broken. There were a few spots of blood on the floor. My husband told me not to move as he didn’t know what state I was in. Without taking any notice of what he said, straight away I exploded and accused him of not drying the floor after cleaning, therefore causing me to slip. Still my husband said not to move as he needed to check me out to make sure I was not hurt.  I continued to blame him for the accident even after my anger had passed. Knowing that I wasn’t listening and just wanting to blame him he knew I wasn’t hurt after all. So he told me to take a look at the patch where I slipped on whether it was water or gravy. It was indeed gravy. With a slight cut in my ear and a bruise in my mouth, I enlightened that this was a 2nd wake-up call for me – for continuing to look externally.

The 3rd accident occurred when I was at the car service workshop. My car was being refurbished, and to go to the toilet I needed to walk through the area where the work was being done. There was nothing on the ground that would have caused me to trip or slip. Somehow I managed to trip 3 times and eventually fell and glided quite a distance on the floor before coming to a halt. I wasn’t hurt at all but very annoyed that the incident happened. I looked externally again by putting the blame on others.
Master saved me from the sickness karma that I had previously. How could I relax and take things for granted? I’ve vowed to improve and take the early morning righteous thoughts seriously, yet I continue to fall asleep during the process. I say I’ll do it but in reality I don’t. I’ve enlightened that this was a hint from Master that I have slipped a long way. I need to get back to the diligent state of cultivating, with righteous thoughts and righteous actions and saving sentient beings.

In recent days, whenever I opened the book Zhuan Falun it’s no coincidence the section on ‘Improving Xinxing’ opened. Master is hinting to me to be diligent in my cultivation and walk the path well.

Thank you Master!
Thank you fellow practitioners!

Chinese version: https://www.zhengjian.org/node/239991