PureInsight | February 15, 2014
[PureInsight.org] I went to a practitioner’s home to study Fa yesterday. The practitioner told me that some practitioners in the local area were suffering sickness karma. Some had even passed away. The practitioner said that they gathered to study Fa and exchange understandings about this matter. Regarding sickness karma, Master has taught us a lot of Fa principles. For sickness karma, every single situation is different. However, since such abnormal phenomenon has appeared, looking inward is the only way out—by removing attachments, upgrading Xinxing, and denying the persecution in the form of sickness karma. Here, I would like to share about the causes of my sickness karma a few months ago. I hope it will help fellow practitioners to learn from it.
I came to this town to help my parents move because their house was being demolished. I couldn’t contact local practitioners for a long time. Thus, I did not have an environment for group Fa study and sharing. At the beginning, I insisted on studying by myself and doing the three things. But gradually, I slackened off and relaxed.
The house was being demolished, thus we did not have a place to live in. We could not agree about whether to buy or rent a property and conflicts and contradictions arose. Ultimately, everyone pointed at me and I felt a lot of pressure. The attachments of being impatient and jumping to my feet when criticized became more obvious. My mind did not feel tranquil because I had slackened off in Fa study. Consequently, I did not maintain my Xinxing. I was upset and even quarrelled with my family members. I thought that it was because of them that I wasted my time for cultivation. I felt unbalanced and blamed them for it. Although I understood that I had to look inward, I did not actually cultivate myself. I complained about others all the time, and was constantly trapped at the surface when seeking a resolution, causing even more conflict to occur. I consciously used a cultivator’s standard to measure others and I wanted others to change themselves. I always felt that I was right. I placed myself above others and always gave orders without respect toward my family members. Consequently, they misunderstood my intentions.
When I hadn’t passed one tribulation, another one was coming up. I was utterly exhausted. During the May 1st holidays, a young person from my relative’s family was to get married. All of my own family members claimed they were too busy to attend and my father asked my mother and I to go. I had a symptom of sickness karma and was feeling very uncomfortable. I did not want to go because I was afraid that my relatives would notice my symptoms. My father was not happy. I did not explain patiently and lost my temper and quarrelled with him badly. Consequently, my “sickness”—which looked like a heavy flu with a fever, sore throat, and coughing—became worse. It lasted for more than a month and I had a pale and yellowish face.
During that period of time, I really did not have the image of a practitioner. I did not at all have what a practitioner should have had—an auspicious appearance. I had totally forgotten Master’s teachings that we should be compassionate towards people. I also felt that I was out of control. I was not patient at all and was irritated all the time, as if I had a fire in my heart that would blast off at any moment. I was unable to get rid of it or to supress it. Once my sister-in-law told me directly: “If you act like this, you would not be able to upgrade your level in cultivation for the rest of your life.” I thought to myself that I would cultivate well after I handled this matter. However, rather than cultivating myself well, I tried to avoid conflicts.
Master taught us in the lecture “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa,” “Some people, once they run into actual problems, have no interest in overcoming them, as they only want to be happy; when there are problems between them and others, they don’t search inside themselves, and will admit no wrong even when they are at fault.”
I found myself recalling what had happened. How could I cultivate if there were no conflicts or worries for me? Would the attachments go away by themselves? How would I put down [my selfishness] if I was afraid of losing things?
Master taught us in Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun: “If you always think about competing with others and fighting back and forth, I would say that you will start a fight with others whenever there is a problem—this is guaranteed.”
Because my personal space was not righteous, I did not cultivate myself according to a practitioner’s standard when a problem or conflict arose. I did not look inward. I was not tolerant, nor did I cultivate compassion. I totally became an everyday person. Consequently, the old forces took advantage of this loophole and gave me the symptom of sickness karma. I did not think that I was able to get through the tribulation. I was unable to focus on Fa study and my sending forth righteous thoughts did not work at all. I almost did not do the three tasks at that time. I felt miserable. How had I become like this after cultivating for more than a decade? It only proved that my cultivation was not solid. I felt guilty because I had not cultivated well. I was unable to talk to people to clarify the truth, which had interfered with saving sentient beings.
I recalled that my sickness karma was caused for various reasons. We must not be afraid of hardship in cultivation. But I disliked hardship and sought comfort. I did not want to overcome it. I was afraid of pain during meditation. Therefore, I seldom or almost did not practice the fifth exercise. I did the three tasks on the surface without solid cultivation. I made such a huge tribulation because I did not put down my attachments for a long time. Consequently, I did not pass the tribulation and fell badly.
Actually, there are many such lessons. It is said that a practitioner from my local area hadn’t done the three tasks for a long period of time. She almost did not practice the exercises. An elderly practitioner, who had been practicing for more than ten years, had passed away due to various reasons, such as not cultivating her Xinxing. The old forces took advantage of this loophole and she passed away from sickness karma. I hope fellow practitioners would learn lessons from these cases. The old forces also dragged down those Dafa practitioners who were not cultivating diligently. Therefore, when coming across any tribulations or hardships, we must look inward, remove attachments, upgrade Xinxing, and rectify ourselves. Also, we should not only look inward, but also truly cultivate ourselves [by removing attachments that we find].
Master told us in the lecture “Teaching the Fa in Canada, 2006;” “So everything that you do, be it your balancing well your family relationships while you live among ordinary people, balancing well your relationships in society, how you perform at your workplace, how you conduct yourself in society, etc., none of these are things you can just go through the motions on. All of these are part of your cultivation format, and are serious matters.”
We must carefully walk every step on the path of cultivation. We must accomplish our historic missions, assist Master in Fa rectification, and fulfil our prehistoric vows.
Due to the limitation of my level of cultivation, please correct if there is anything inappropriate.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/node/120316
