PureInsight | November 11, 2017
[PureInsight.org]
I believed it was necessary to re-expose my previous detour. After a few years of cultivation, I still did not pay much attention to personal cultivation and slacked off because I indulged in my attachments. I treated cultivation as an ordinary job in the human world. I always wanted to relax after some solid cultivation. I did improve my xinxing, and some of my attachments, including the attachment to fame, became light. I could also tolerate some unhappy things. Because of the attachment to laxity, the old forces took advantage of me with a vicious and hidden arrangement. I did not have a good understanding of “Good or evil comes from that instant thought” (Zhuan Falun). Master said in Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference, “Some people express that they think they’re quite pure, when in fact that’s not the case; they have all kinds of extraneous, distracted thoughts and many things that were formed postnatally. Even what you consider to be a very simple thought might—from its starting point to its cause, or the things that accompany it—be impure.”
The old forces caught my attachments including my emotions and my admiration for ordinary family life. They sent me men one by one to test me. At the beginning, I could deny it. Later, my attachments took me to a so-called reasonable way. It made me believe it was a predestined relationship, and I fell in love very deeply without righteous thoughts.
I had a dream that I was married to that person in a previous life, so everything appeared reasonable for me. I became attached to him more and more in spirit. Since I lost my mother in my childhood, I always looked for someone on whom to be dependent. It increased my weak lust and made me fall into the trap made by the old forces.
Once, I dreamed I did Fa study with a fellow practitioner. The fellow practitioner did not have shoes, but I did. I realized it was a hint from Master that the fellow practitioner was pure but I was not. I regretted it deeply and felt ashamed towards myself. However, cultivation had a deep root in my heart. I would go forward by eliminating the lust trap from the old forces!
Master said in Path from Essentials for Further Advancement II, “This is not the first time in the course of the degenerating history that evil forces have persecuted cultivators. Isn’t this a recurrence of what Jesus experienced in his day? Didn’t Buddha Sakyamuni experience this, too? If there actually are paths that can serve as a reference, then haven’t what the previous Enlightened Beings experienced in that regard and today’s evil occurred in the same way? Although they differ in their specific manifestations, they all aim to break the will of those who cultivate in a righteous Fa.”
Today’s practitioners are also interfered with by the old forces. Being around by the old forces, I felt abysses and ditches were everywhere. Master said in Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference, “But, as long as it hasn’t ended, the evil will be evil just the same. It’s just like how poison is bound to be poisonous, and even if you asked it not to be poisonous it couldn’t do that. So you must not lower your guard. Try your best not to let the old forces exploit any gaps in your cultivation. As for things at the end, Master will be watching and deciding how to handle them.” The article “On Getting Rid of Desire” from the Minghui website said, “Don't leave even a tiny residue. Even a minor, unnoticeable remnant could rise again later on.” It indeed would cause very serious problems.
Soon after I escaped suffering, I tried to contact an old practitioner. It was very hard to reach him for a long time. However, when I reached him finally, he told me he already gave up practice. He told me some important practitioners passed away. He also complained about some practitioners’ abominable behavior. One day I found he was not on my contact list in Skype. Then I remembered I turned off his invitation about group Fa study through Skype previously because I enjoyed studying Fa alone at that time. I reproached myself a lot. At our last communication, I asked if he believed in Master and the Fa. He only said he belonged to the next batch.
Later, I saw a few fellow practitioners pass away. A female practitioner even became a different person. She couldn’t communicate with sufficient righteous thoughts. Since she moved to our community, I helped her with her older sister. Her older sister was a practitioner as well. I noticed her difference because she practiced incorrectly and did not want to read during group Fa study. Her older sister was very angry with her. I found she was often absentminded in sending forth righteous thoughts and in giving congratulations on Master’s birthday. It made me very upset because I was in a difficult situation due to my long days of work and several hardships related to coworkers and relatives. I also had an attachment of fear. To avoid wasting time on her and interferences from the old forces, I decided not to take care of her. Later, other fellow practitioners tried to help but failed as well. Eventually, I was told her younger sister sent her to a nursing home.
The above was something I regretted for a few years. I hope fellow practitioners will not have the same regrets. Now I can recognize impure things from the old forces and eliminate them immediately. I realized I should pay attention to my every thought and never give the old forces an opportunity.
Master said in Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference, “I knew how trying this affair would be, and so I resolved many things for Dafa disciples over the course of history, and for this reason I protected you life after life, watching over you all the way through. Yet at the present moment in history, at this brief-yet-critical moment that determines everything, the requirements for you are strict.” This Fa gave me lots of righteous thoughts and warnings. Let’s encourage each other!
Translated from http://www.zhengjian.org/node/237502
