PureInsight | March 22, 2004
[PureInsight.org] The Ontario Superior Court of Justice awarded damages against Mr. Pan Xinchun, the Vice Consul General of China in Toronto, because he attacked Dafa and me in a local newspaper. The judge ruled that Mr. Pan maliciously acted outside of his consular duties and broke international law.
This is the first time that a Falun Gong practitioner has brought and prevailed in a lawsuit against a Chinese diplomat for persecuting Falun Gong outside of China. It is the first time a Chinese diplomat has been sued for defamation and spreading hatred against Falun Gong.
Although the effects of this case are far reaching in this time of Fa rectification I would like to focus today on my cultivation process during the last year working on this case.
I immediately realized the importance of this opportunity to expose and eliminate the evil from attacking Dafa here in Canada. However, when I was thinking about suing this person for his crimes, many of my attachments surfaced to try to stop me from going forward.
I was deeply afraid of the amount of money, the thousands of dollars, I would have to spend on the case. I was also afraid of all the work that I would have to put into this case and that I would not be righteous enough to succeed.
In my past cultivation experiences I had let many great chances to validate Dafa slip by because of my fear. Master has given me so many chances to step out of humanness and to let go of my attachment of self, so I could truly put Dafa first and I continued to fail.
Once again I felt Master arranged this test for me to step forward, but once again the fear was stopping me. I also knew deep in my heart that if I failed this test it would be a very serious step back in my cultivation.
I realized through all my past failures that the attachment of fear is the most dangerous and most serious test that blocked my way. And my fear of losing money or my fear of not succeeding or my fear of all my self interests and attachments that stopped me from truly stepping forward 100% from my heart for Dafa was really a deeper fear of the ultimate attachment to life and the fear of death.
So many practitioners in China have stepped forward and have given up all worries and fears of losing personal interest to validate the Fa in the most deadly environment ever in history. They are able to do this because from the bottom of their souls they truly believe and have faith in the truth of Dafa. They gave up their attachment to life and their fear of death and truly stepped out of human thinking for the ultimate sake of saving others.
I asked myself: "Am I still attached to reaching consummation? Am I worried about my own future or my own self interest? Do I truly understand what Master is teaching us? Am I afraid of my own life as a human being? Can I truly put myself aside and act with the righteous compassion to save others? Do I truly believe in Master and in Dafa? Or, am I locked in the pattern of looking at this situation like a human being?"
At that moment my one thought became so strong in my mind: "Yes. I must eliminate the evil. For the sake of all the innocent lives who are exposed to this hate and are being brainwashed to go against Zhen, Shan, Ren, I must expose the persecution and stop the evil from attacking Dafa. I also must support my fellow practitioners in China who have truly shown me the ultimate meaning of selflessness and compassion." This is my only true mission in this precious time.
I quickly found out that because I had not passed previous tests in my cultivation strictly and on time the tests accumulated and became more and more dangerous. All the failed tribulations and tests from the past did not just disappear, they defected and became stronger and larger.
The following week another one surfaced. When I told my father that I sued the Vice Consul General he became very angry. It was like a demon possessed him. He tried everything to get me to stop. He threatened to fire me from our family-owned business where I work. He called our family lawyer and took my name off all the accounts. He demanded I give him the name of my lawyer so he could call him. I refused. I felt numb. However, all I could see was that the evil itself was afraid and trying to stop me. A very strong righteous thought was deep in my heart. No matter what I lost, nothing would stop me from stepping forward this time to protect Dafa.
As I continued to step forward I faced an even harder attack from the evil. This time they attacked me physically. One day as I drove home I felt like something was tightening my back to the point where the muscles were going to snap like tight instrument strings. As I got out of the car the fury of hell from the evil ripped into my body like massive red hot electric shocks and I dropped to my knees. I was paralyzed with intense pain. I lay in excruciating pain for hours beside my car trying to scream but in too much pain to do so. As I lay on the ground trying to breathe between the contractions of intense pain I could not help think of the practitioners in China and how much torture they endure. Here, I was in the most pain I ever felt and I still had the comfort to just lay there beside my car on the cold concrete. Practitioners in China do not have that luxury. I started to cry for them. I was finally dragged upstairs on a blanket into my apartment. There I lay in my foyer beside the front door for over a week.
As the days went by the pain got a bit less. During this time I could see that most of my thoughts were not righteous at all. I would send righteous thoughts at 11 and 5 but it almost seemed like a formality. I saw that quickly after 11 and 5 my mind would wander to all kinds of dreams, fragmented thoughts, desires and pursuits. I also felt a very strong stress and tension in my character that caused my whole body to become tight and my mind become irritated with others.
I also had a notion in my mind that I did not want practitioners to bother with my situation. It was my problem and I could handle it by myself. Practitioners called who wanted to come over to send righteous thoughts for me. I refused to allow them to do so.
I realized that I had not kept up with my Fa study. I took the following days to read the Fa intensely and truly reflect on the principles in the book. I felt so refreshed and enlightened. My body relaxed and I felt so comforted by the Fa. I opened my heart to my fellow practitioners and sent an email asking everyone for their support. The response I received touched my heart. I could truly feel the righteous support from everyone.
After this it did not take long for me to get up. I also realized that I was giving into the evil arrangement to keep me down. I refused to allow that to happen. I started to keep a very close watch on my thoughts and to focus again on the case.
I knew this case was a great tool to clarify the truth and to eliminate the evil and that other practitioners needed to be a part of it also. I came up with the idea to write a letter to all the Chinese consulate and embassy officials around the world telling them about this case hoping they would no longer harm the reputation of Dafa or they too would pay for their crimes in the future. I sent the message around the world that I needed help.
I received emails from as far as, Sweden, South Africa, Moldavia, Israel, New Zealand, Germany, Slovakia, Czech Republic, United Kingdom, Russia and others. Practitioners from all over the world expressed their joy to be a part of this. I could truly feel the strong bond of the Dafa body come together. It was a powerful feeling.
Practitioners in Canada also used the case in many environments to clarify the truth to the media, the three levels of government, the legal society, and the Chinese community. However, I started to feel somewhat irritated because everyone was so busy with other important projects that I felt many opportunities slipping by. Then at the last minute, only days before the hearing was to take place I was bombarded with concerns from practitioners who said: "We have to do more with this case! We have not done enough! The lawyer is an everyday person and we must make sure he talks about the right things! We have to meet with him! We have to do this and this and this!"
My heart was moved and I expressed my understanding of a pattern in the Dafa body that I have observed and have also been a part of since 1999. It seems when we have lots of time for important upcoming projects we never seem to cherish the time given to us to do a good job. It is only at the very last minute that everyone will jump in and want to change things and give their feed back. It is only after it is all over do we all come together and express how bad we feel and that we should have done better.
I also enlightened to a pattern of the evil that tries to cause breaks in the Dafa body at critical times by trying to put practitioners against each other through intolerance over each other's attachments.
This time I tried to calm my heart and listen. I learned I was still attached to my own ideas of how things should go. I still had the destructive habit of pointing the finger at others for their faults. I felt good because I was able to become aware of this and put myself aside.
The relationship with the lawyer was also a test. He had a good heart but from past experiences with practitioners he felt very defensive. He told me, "I have never in my life had clients that gave me so much trouble by telling me how to run my practice." He was very upset because he felt we did not respect his advice on how to run a lawsuit.
It was a fact that as practitioners we wanted to make sure everything is said from the Fa's perspective, but in doing so we become more attached to controlling the situation rather than trusting. We tend to disregard our lawyers expertise and his feelings. We learned that we had to also trust the lawyer and the process of our own work we had done in the past clarifying the truth to him.
I realized early on that I was not a lawyer and I had no intention of learning how to be one. I took the months that followed to focus more on supporting the lawyer with righteous support and treating him with respect and kindness. During our time together we created a good relationship.
It seemed eight months went by in a second and the day for the trial was finally here.
As I sat in the court room it seemed like hundreds of practitioners came to the court room to support. The lobby and the court room were packed with practitioners. Some practitioners drove over eight hours from other cities to be there with us. Nothing could have matched the feeling I had even before the judge came into the room. I felt the amazing pure strength of all the practitioners sending righteous thoughts together.
I also understood right then that between fellow practitioners, no matter what attachments surface in others the most important thought I must have is to realize we are all here because of Dafa and Master. Whatever happens, we all are bonded together with one common heart and one goal. In this moment I could truly feel the special bond we have between each of us and how we must support each other in everything we do no matter if it's our project or not.
Every one in the court room was silent because of the powerful field. I sent righteous support to my lawyer to do his best. I sent righteous support to the judge so he could choose well with the most important decision he would ever make in his life. Plus, I let all the Zhen-Shan-Ren I had in my soul do the rest.
As I sat there I had a thought that I would have given everything and every cent I had to be there that day. It was one of the most powerful moments of my cultivation. I also reflected back and realized how only eight months earlier I almost let fear steal this precious chance away from me and destroy my opportunity to step forward for Dafa.
I also realized that fear, like any other tribulation no matter how terrifying it is, it is just in that moment, and when we look back it is over. But, our one thought at that time or our decision or our choice at that moment lasts forever.
Every opportunity Master gives us on our path will never come again and when they arise they go so fast. We only have one chance to choose well or not. I felt so grateful that Master gave me this opportunity and the power and strength to see it through.
For over an hour our lawyer presented a brilliant case filled with truth clarification to the judge. He also argued how Pan Xinchun acted outside his official functions as a consulate official and broke international law, and therefore he had no immunity.
The judge then asked my lawyer why he thought no one showed up to defend the Vice Consul General. My lawyer said, "For eight months we gave the consulate four opportunities to step forward to defend themselves and they refused. They felt they were immune under diplomatic immunity and refused to accept the legal papers. The only reason they have not come to defend themselves is because they are afraid. They are afraid of the mistake they made when they defamed my client in the newspaper. They are afraid to expose the disgusting abuses their government is responsible for against Falun Gong practitioners in China and they are afraid to be exposed for the massive hate campaign that they are responsible for spreading here in Canada. This is the reason."
At that point the judge smiled and nodded his head in agreement. Around 1:00 p.m., the judge ruled in our favor, thus we won the case.
I cried so hard I could not stop. I felt the energy of all practitioners in China together with us and felt the unexplainable power of our Dafa body in high dimensions. It was such an honored to be part of it.
I also realized that through the eight months of truth clarification, righteous thoughts and tribulations, and work spent on the case, I actually did absolutely nothing at all to win this case. Master that created the outcome of this case 100%. Master did everything. It was only given to me as an opportunity to do the three things we are all supposed to do at this time-send forth righteous thoughts, clarify the truth and study the Fa. And after all is said and done today, I look back and see that I could have done much, much more.
Outside the courtroom a reporter asked me if I was happy with the result and I told her, "For four years the Chinese regime has been using hate and lies to murder, torture and destroy innocent practitioners and to hide their crimes against humanity. So many of my fellow practitioners have died brutal and senseless deaths. Here in Canada the hate and lies still continue to be spread by the Chinese Embassy and consulates. Only when all my fellow practitioners in China are free and only when all the hate and lies are eliminated and only when Jiang Zemin and all those who have hurt Falun Gong practitioners are brought to justice, only then will I be happy. For now on, I just want to send a strong message to all those who are hurting the reputation of Dafa and of practitioners that you must stop before it is too late. Otherwise, you will all have to pay for your disgusting crimes and you will destroy your futures and the futures of your innocent families by your evil deeds."
When it was all over and I was driving back home, the picture of Pan Xinchun's face came into my mind. I felt deeply sad in my heart that this human being had chosen to hurt Dafa and his own future. I wished that we could have talked together, so I could help him see the special chance he had to position himself to be a good person. I hope Master can still save him and in my heart I still hope he realizes the truth before its too late.
