PureInsight | December 9, 2002
With the increasing speed of Fa rectification, the evil forces have seen their own demise, and so they are utilizing the rest of our attachments to persecute Dafa practitioners and to bring loss to Dafa. Thus, I realized that I should absolutely not forget to give up my own attachments, send forth righteous thoughts, look within, and cultivate myself. This has not always been the case.
In this past, because I had the habit of looking outside of myself when I was experiencing a xinxing test I would immediately fail the test, and then repeatedly be tested again just to fail again. Since June of 2001, I have been watching for the signs of my attachments, and looking at things from a Dafa perspective. I have pondered such questions as why I have to search within myself, how to search within self, and what could be regarded as searching within?
Since February of 2002, I eliminate my bad thoughts and send forth righteous thoughts every hour, except while sleeping, in order to annihilate the remaining evil. I found that it is very necessary and effective to eliminate bad thoughts. But only if I have a determined will can I pass a test in several minutes, which has an added advantage as it makes my mind peaceful. Now, besides searching inside myself during those five minutes when I am eliminating my bad thoughts, I also dig out my true attachments behind each bad thought. Whenever I found I am uncomfortable with something I do not let the bad thoughts live, increase, or accumulate.
For example, I lost my temper about something and even though no one was aware of it I still needed to find the source of my anger. I found that I was angry because another person did something poorly. Did he not do well simply because I believed he did not do well? Should others act as I imagine they should act? Even if he did not do something well, my losing my temper is an evil side. I don't always get an answer right away when I am searching for the attachment. However, I have to keep in mind that there is an attachment since it would not have happened to begin with if there had not been an attachment present.
In the first sentence of "LUNYU" Master says, "The 'Buddha Fa' is most profound; among all the theories in the world, it is the most intricate and extraordinary science." (From Zhuan Falun) One day while memorizing "LUNYU," I realized that one must give up one's human mentality from the depths of the heart and jump beyond one's level, to see the truth of the Buddha Fa.
It is magnificent that "zhi zhuo xin" is translated as "attachment" in English. Attachment is "accessory" when translated into Chinese. It means attaching to something and does not originally exist. If something is accessory and does not belong to me and it is a bad thing, then why wouldn't I just give it up? Why am I angry when others point out my attachments? Why don't I throw them totally away? This is because I do not understand it from Fa, and I am lost in the human mentality of ordinary people.
When I'm not comfortable with what others have said, or that they treat me unfairly, or when someone does not let me know they appreciated what I did for them, I stop these thoughts and say they are not real. For human beings, all of these things are real, but when we elevate them outside of the three realms, all of these things are not real. I have never been as solid as the day I realized that all the things I attach to or make me uncomfortable are not real! Cultivators must give up these fake things. If not, where is the truth?
The truth is in Master's books. Only Dafa can break through the maze! Only those who can break through their maze can become enlightened. I realized that only through strengthening one's main consciousness can one leap out of the theories held in the three realms, and thus realize what constitutes a righteous theory. Only if one sees the truth from Dafa can one really determine what constitutes Dafa, and truly believe in Master. You see, if one understands Dafa and Master by using the human mentality, when something unclear happens in human society, then belief in Master is superficial and will crash. This is because the belief is based on human mentality, and is not righteous belief.
Ten months after T started to practice, a practitioner talked with me about cultivation. He was so patient as he listened to all that I had to say. Finally he said, "You are very diligent, but you are diligent based on human mentality." He wouldn't explain any further and I became so anxious that I almost broke into tears. Only after studying the Fa and cultivating in reality could I understand that the reasons for things happening are to let me understand and give up attachments. After the attachments are given up, the purpose of that obstacle has been achieved and no longer needs to exist. If we use human mentality to solve a problem, then we haven't achieved the purpose of making improvements in our cultivation. Then, a similar test will come again, since we haven't improved as we are supposed to and we are still at the same level.
When I have strong righteous thoughts, my main consciousness is very strong and I often pass tests very easily. However, when this doesn't happen and I feel uncomfortable, the stronger and more obvious my attachment, the more it serves as a reminder that I should not give up my search to remove it. At that moment, I should use determined righteous thoughts to eliminate it! If I cannot eliminate it, I will lengthen the time until I can come into that peaceful state.
I understand now that every test is telling me that I need to improve and give up my attachments. It is the time to enrich part of my body, which is to enrich part of my cosmos. I should absolutely not get lost in the specific things I am doing. If I do, then when the tribulation comes, the uncomfortable heart is not mine but the human heart full of selfishness and emotion that is arranged by the old force in order to control me. This immerses me in this human world and makes me attached to human theory. The deeper my attachment, the more pressure and difficulty I experience in trying to improve. Therefore, in order to break through the arrangements by the evil forces, we must understand from a Dafa perspective, and search inside unconditionally. Searching inside is the reflection of believing in Dafa and Master
Master asks us to look within, while the old force tells us to look outside of ourselves. If we do not act according to the principles of the new cosmos, then how can we do Fa-rectification work? If we look outside for everything, then who is the teacher we are obeying? Whose arrangement are we following?
I have cultivated almost five years. Recently, I did not pass a test well in the dream time. It dealt with trivial things in human society, but it was an indicator that I was having problems in cultivation. I was not acting in accordance with the requirements for practitioners. To make my thoughts pure I have to rectify them repeatedly. Now, when any test comes along, I tell myself that the only thing I can do is to listen to Master's words and be righteous and do righteous things. When I am righteous, I see the power of Dafa and this makes me more unwavering with respect to Dafa and Master. This determination makes me try harder and be righteous more, and in return this righteousness brings more of the power of Dafa to me. I feel only when we cultivate in reality can we have a diamond-like belief in Dafa.
