PureInsight | July 28, 2008
[PureInsight.org] During my recent study of our Respected Teacher's "Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference," I have come to deeply understand that if a practitioner fails to cultivate himself, then he is ruining himself.
Looking back on my own course of cultivation, I feel very embarrassed.
I heard of Dafa as early as age 16 when I was still a freshman in high
school. That was in 1994, amidst the "qigong craze" in China. My father
had practiced many forms of qigong. I browsed through all the qigong
books and magazines at home but didn't find one I was interested in. It
was much like the Monkey King, Sun Wukong, who would learn nothing but
immortality. One day, my father brought home a copy of Falun Gong; I read it and realized it was the practice I was looking for. Before long, Zhuan Falun
was published and I read it from cover to cover in one sitting. My
father was very surprised at seeing his 16-year-old daughter finish
reading such a big book even before he had a chance to read it.
Although I didn't learn to do the exercises because I was busy with
school work, Dafa was rooted in my heart.
As soon as I finished the college entrance exam, I went to the closest
practice site to learn the exercises, and right away I was able to sit
in full lotus. When I got to college, I found a practice site on my
campus. People at the practice site included professors, lecturers, PhD
students, graduate students, undergraduate students, specialty major
students, and the family of faculty. Looking back on those three years
in college, I feel it was extremely precious having been able to study
the Fa, do the exercises, and cultivate myself together with others
everyday.
In July 1999, as soon as I graduated from college, the evil slander and
persecution came on devastatingly! Driven by all sorts of attachments,
I wrote a "guarantee statement," leaving a huge stain in my cultivation
(later, I wrote a "solemn declaration" proclaiming that the "guarantee
statement" and what I had said and done against my conscience at that
time were all null and void). From then on, my state of cultivation
practice was very passive. I did not have a cultivation environment at
home, nor did I have the courage to contact other practitioners in my
area. In that passive state, trapped in the illusion of "reputation,
self-interest, and feelings," I made many mistakes and created much
karma! I repented afterwards but did it again and again. I was
cultivating on and off. I cannot bear to think of the past, and I am
too ashamed to mention the details. The Lord of Buddhas' compassion is
enormous, and he will not give up a disciple who temporarily went
astray. However, I couldn't forgive myself, someone who had made a
sacred vow to the Lord of Buddhas to come to this world to save
sentient beings, but who had stayed passive in the maze of the human
world until the end of Fa-rectification!
During the year of Rat, catastrophes came one after another, and the
plays in the human world have begun to roll. There really isn't enough
time, really! What have I done amidst this passive state? The day
before our Esteemed Master's "Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York
Conference" was published, I had a very clear dream. The series of
events in the dream exposed many of my ugly attachments! All of those
were based on reputation, self-interest, and emotion, and were full of
selfishness, wickedness and desire. How filthy and ugly they were! How
could I bring them back to my paradise?
After Esteemed Master's "Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference"
was published, I read it through many times with a calm heart. My
understanding is that if a practitioner fails to cultivate himself, he
is ruining himself!
"Don't let having relatively fewer students in a particular area, or
the presence of ongoing disputes among our students in some areas,
become grounds for being passive about validating the Fa, saving
sentient beings, or even your own cultivation. You would be ruining
yourselves, then."
"So, when you meet with ordeals, it is the perfect opportunity for you
to improve. If you are able to look inside, that trying situation will
become instead an opportunity, something to overcome and a chance to
enter a new state. Why haven't you looked at things that way?"
"Hardship is the repayment of karmic debts, and things that don't go so
smoothly enable your xinxing to elevate. That holds true for ordinary
people as well, in fact - it's all about removing karma, and when someone
is rid of his karma he will be well-off in his next life. It's just
that people don't realize it. A cultivator is to reduce his karma,
improve his xinxing via cultivation, and in the end achieve
Consummation. For a Dafa disciple, this is the most basic teaching in
the Fa and the most fundamental thing."
"The biggest problem we have now is the one I just talked about. That is, when you fail to cultivate yourself and look within."
"Only when you walk your own path validating the Fa can you perfect
yourself and establish your own mighty virtue. So you must do it
yourselves. That's why when sometimes people come to ask Master about
each project or even things they want to do as individuals, asking, 'How should I go about it?'..."
"Master affirms what Dafa disciples have done. As long as you are doing
things out of a wish to validate the Fa and save sentient beings, I
will affirm all that you do. And when you go do those things, there
will be my Law Bodies or gods there to amplify it and make what you do
yet more magnificent and extraordinary, and they will assist you."
In my humble understanding, in "Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York
Conference," Respected Teacher has emphasized very seriously the
importance of cultivating ourselves. Teacher mercifully gave this Fa
lecture specifically about the problems that have widely occurred in at
least one area. I am among those who have these problems and am very
languid! How shameful I am! As a practitioner, isn't cultivating myself
the most fundamental thing I must do? Why could I do nothing about my
passive state in cultivation? Isn't it because I failed to cultivate
myself? If a practitioner fails to cultivate himself, he is ruining
himself! I must genuinely cultivate myself, and walk my path of return
well.
In conclusion, these are my personal understandings. Please point out anything improper.
Heshi.
June 25, 2008
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2008/6/25/53499.html
