PureInsight | July 25, 2005
[PureInsight.org] I seem to have been born with excessive pride. Even before I became a Falun Gong practitioner, I had often repeatedly told myself not to become arrogant because of my above-average intelligence and talents. But ever since I was a child, many different people have told me that I was overbearing.
Shortly after I started my cultivation as a Falun Gong practitioner, fellow practitioners started to tell me patiently that I must remove my attachment to arrogance. I tried to listen to fellow practitioners' advice because I was eager to cultivate myself well. But after a while, some fellow practitioners started to admire me because I do have a lot of different talents and I am able to eloquently share my insights of the Buddha Fa. After a period of time, I started to enjoy fellow practitioners' kind or positive encouragement and detest their direct or sharp criticism. Meanwhile, I felt guilty each time I came across the following line when I studied the Fa, "Even in this class, there are people who think quite highly of themselves right now and speak with a different attitude." (From "Demonic Interference From One's Own Mind" in Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun.) I felt as though Teacher was referring to me directly.
Lately in a few Falun Gong practitioners' truth-clarification events, for some unknown reason I repeatedly noticed some fellow practitioners acting as though they were experts or as though they were rather pleased with their cultivation practice. It was painful to watch their speech and behavior. I repeatedly complained to other fellow practitioners about my perception of the aforementioned practitioners' arrogance, but they always told me not to monitor other practitioners' attachments. Instead, they told me to seek inward and ask myself for whom I have been cultivating. It was not until then that I gradually realized that it is my pride in my own talents that has made me arrogant. Even after I started practicing Falun Gong, I always thought that I had good enlightenment quality and that I had cultivated well.
When I finally started treating myself as just an ordinary Falun Gong practitioner instead of considering myself above others, I felt my wisdom was suddenly upgraded. During the process of exchanging cultivation experiences, I could quickly understand and relate to fellow practitioners' difficulties, as well as their thoughts and ideas. I am no longer eager to express my own opinions first. When I do talk, I feel kindness in my words. I can actually feel the Fa's wisdom resides in each different level. I feel my life has become truly free.
Now I realize that my so-called talents were bestowed upon me by the Fa as a tool to fulfill my pledge to assist Teacher with the Fa-rectification. The Fa even bestowed a lot of accomplishments upon me before I started practicing Falun Gong so that I could utilize them to help with Teacher's Fa-rectification. Regardless of how successful I am in my job, regardless of what talents I have or how well-known I have become among practitioners, I must always treat myself as one of the Falun Gong practitioners instead of considering myself above them. This is the proper mentality that will truly enable me to fulfill my pledge and to cultivate myself well in order to return to my true self.
Translated from: http://www.zhengjian.org/zj/articles/2005/7/17/33124.html
